#SickLovin, Yummy Bowl of Skittles, Mothership Miss and More

#SickLovin

Do you see McLovin's two little girls
under there anywhere?

If you’re a fan of The Dan Patrick Show, then you admire the turn of a word. Yes, McLovin, true to his word, decided not to come in today although he was able to do what he does on the show at home – sit in a chair and watch Dan. The email he sent to Dan the night before explaining his absence today even included the word cough in parenthesis. Really?!? He did call in to gain sympathy. None given. He was actually doing the show a favor by staying home today. A little return to the way things used to be before he joined the show was a breath of freshness. He vowed to Dan that he’ll be in tomorrow.  Do you think McLovin is as dramatic at home 
as he is on the show?  Heaven help his wife if he is.

New Stuff in the Man Cave

Thank you Red Hook - The tap for Dan and the Danettes new ale is sick!

Sick as in rad, not sick as in McLovin.

Sweet !

Bam! Nice combo piece – South Carolina’s Jadeveon Clowney’s gloves and chin strap worn at the time of "the hit" in the Outback Bowl. No word from Michigan if Vincent Smith will be sending in the same items for a matched set.

Socks are the thing – Marcus Lattimore sent in a grouping: socks, a headband and his gear bag from his last healthy game at South Carolina.

The collection of random memorabilia continues to entertain us all.

Yummy Bowl of Skittles

I like the green ones

Back in the eighties, Dan visited the clubhouse of a National League team. On a table, out in the open, in a side room to the main lockerroom was a fish bowl of what appeared to be something candy like, like Skittles, M&Ms or Jolly Ranchers where you could just reach in and grab a handful. When Dan asked "What's this?", he learned that it was actually a bowl of "greenies" a.k.a. amphetamines available for open consumption. Alright, he got it.  They're not legal, but it wasn't something that was going to change your physical appearance.  They were considered more of a temporary alertness helper.  Is that any worse than what you may find in a clubhouse today – Red Bull, Monster, 5 Hour Energy or any of the other "pick me ups" anyone can buy anywhere? Just asking.

           Chris in Syracuse

Hope things work out for you soon!

You’ve asked before, and here’s the latest: Paulie was in contact with Chris. He’s got stuff going on at home but he’s doing ok. He’s listening, but can’t take part in the show. Dan, the Danettes and everyone concerned will be happy to have him back when he’s able. Miss you Chris! 



Mothership Miss

The good, the bad, it's ugly

To no surprise, ESPN got it wrong again.  They issued an apology to Katherine Webb for what Brent Musburger said during the BCS Championship game when she didn’t expect or want one.  Yet when Steven A. Smith uses a racial slur on air there’s no apology.  Continue on with your inconsistent consistency.

　

　

Who You Got?, Wanted !, The Ride In, No Dan Today

No Dan Today

Dan is soaking up the sun by day and football by night in Miami at the BCS title game. In studio today for Dan was Chris Mannix for Sports Illustrated and SI.com. Continue to reach for the stars Chris. Dan is expected back Tuesday. One day, some day, Chris you will be the one they call first because they want to call you first.  By the way, you are a better writer, better on mic, know how to wear your clothes and are more athletic than McLovin even though you’re a little on the undeveloped side torso-wise. Word – weights. Just sayin'.

           The Ride In

The bleery look?
Side effect of the car ride.

Mannix car-pooled with McLovin on the way in today. He characterized the ride as pathetic. First, McLovin isn’t a driver, he’s a rider, a train rider. Mannix is lucky he wasn’t killed on the way in. Second, it’s not a guy’s car, it’s a family car with two child seats in the back. Third, the car is a breeding ground for illness. The kids have been sick, McLovin is sick. Short of sticking his head out the car window, trying not to touch anything and then sterilizing once out, Mannix took his chances by getting in. Fourth, even when McLovin is in control he’s still not on time. Even though McLovin picked up Chris late, some how he made up time during the drive so they could barely get there in time. Mannix was right, you can’t use the kids as an excuse. That was your decision and you have to deal with it, not everyone else. McLovin’s life = birth control for others.  Chris will be taking his chances on the train for the ride home. 

       Who You Got?

It’s seems if you’re Irish, Catholic or from Indiana you’re picking Notre Dame.  If you’re rooting for Alabama it seems you’re anyone else.  At least that’s how it is where I’m from.  

It’s not all that different in the man cave today either.  Friendly little wager: Loser wears suit coat, shirt and tie the next time they work together.  Since none of them like to dress that way, it’s a matter of comfort.  Mannix took Bama, Paulie and Seton took Notre Dame.   

                  Wanted!

Ha !  
He's not going to be your coach  !

Our man Tony Dungy, FNIA, has been contacted by third parties from different NFL teams about head coaching jobs. Sorry, not interested. Maybe had he been contacted by the owners or GMs of the teams he may have felt otherwise? Respect.

Award Winning Performance? It's the Pain It's the Drugs It's... + More

Know Your Show

If you’re going to call in to the show, know what sports seasons are active, know the audience and know that this show doesn’t "break down" teams, players, games, fans or announcers. Learn a new language to get that response or result from DP and for Pete’s sake, be current. JT in CA, I know it was early in the morning on your side of the land but you had to have had an inkling that your call was going to be served didn’t you? Twins talk. Really? Where were you in May, June, July, August, yada, yada, yada? Come back again in the spring!

If it's spring, shouldn't the snow be gone in MN?

More Like U-Haul 

Boxy, slow U-Haul

Could it be that Dan has more speed than a former running back? Apparently so. Dan versus Jerome "The Bus" Bettis in a 50 yard dash. Dan with a 10 yard advantage finished with more than a 10 yard lead. Witnesses to the event were Rodney Harrison and Tony Dungy when they were all together doing NBC FNIA. Tony called it and Tony doesn’t lie.








Award Winning Performance? 

Ahh Dude, I'm headin' this way

McLovin may have set himself up for another Awful Announcing award this year for an ATG segment. Mini helmets move over for the wheel. Wheel of coaches that is. Physically, the wheel looked impressive and had great sound effects, but it also tripped McLovin up. His hodge podge wedge of coaching assistants - he only knew three of the five coaches. Another wedge – "This guy from the Niners!" also an assistant coach. He had Chip Kelly, from Oregon, going to two different teams. On another wedge - "This guy from Tampa Bay!" There was also one prospect he didn’t put on the wheel at all until the end of the segment when he just taped a full sheet on the bottom of the wheel. Dan hid his face in his hands in laughter until he had to wipe away the tears. Seton’s infectious laugh and all the craziness actually spread over to Paulie, who for just a little while had joy during the show. Fritzy seemed not to be able to follow along well. Must have been the meds. In the end, as it seems with all the ATG segments, Dan came away knowing less than before the segment started. Dan had asked before the show if McLovin wanted to run through the piece before air but McLovin decided to stay undercover and do it on his own. Aren’t we all glad he did?

It’s the Pain, It’s the Drugs, It’s… 

Hey Fritzy!  I made this
in 96 seconds!

Fritzy might have well blamed his mock headlines on the fact it was Thursday for as bad as they were today. 96 minutes of work for 90 seconds of silence from the peanut gallery. Dan’s words: "Like a chef taking 90 minutes to make toast." Today Fritzy made toast. He thought it was because he didn’t go pervy and needed to return to the inappropriate side. No, just go to the funny side.







Set Your DVRs ! 

Presumably this is not what Chrissy
will not be wearing Friday in studio

In the NYC studio, guests tomorrow will be: Peter King of NBC Sports, Actor Chi McBride and swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen. Who won’t be there? Our pervy little buddy. Fritzy’s timing continues to be on par.










                                                                                     Hot Water with the Mrs.

McLovin is following me again!

 This could really only be one of two Danettes. Today it was McLovin. He and his wife were looking on line for something for the kids. They ran across a headline about what professional athlete is Erin Andrews, of Fox Sports, dating. Of course McLovin had to click on it and didn’t take the smooth way of explaining his curiosity by saying something like: I’m just curious, she’s been on the show, she worked with Dan, or that Chrissy Teigan, who was in the shot with John Legend and the hockey player McLovin didn’t know who is seeing Erin, is coming on the show on Friday. Instead he told his wife she was super famous and his wife wanted to know if he had a crush on her, which he never admitted he did. On air he did say he was a little disappointed that Erin decided to date a pro-athlete and not a nerdy geek. Let’s face it, the US Weekly part of Dan’s personality would have clicked on the link too.

Not So Famous 

Conditional ticket giver

Dan had tickets to the Knicks/Spurs Thursday game. Good seats, not floor seats, but good seats. He was going to give them to Paulie and Seton until Paulie learned that the seats were good for Dan and a guest only otherwise there were no seats. We’ll have to see tomorrow if anyone actually went to the game and if there were any stories to accompany. Dan did joke if the game was going to be on ESPN he could hold up a sign saying Sports Center next or whatever happened to Dan Patrick? All too funny. Who would Dan choose if any of the Danettes were able to go? Wingman McLovin to help coax the famous female fans in their direction.

Programming Note From:

Look Out!
Here the Danettes Come!

NBC Sports Network‏@NBCSN
Starting Jan 7 The Dan Patrick Show's Daily Wrap-Up Program "The Box Score" will begin airing weekdays at Noon ET




　

Random Adam Sandler, Creepy Yet Flattering, & More

Random Adam Sandler
How was it that Adam Sandler had a soundless guitar at the 121212 Concert? A trap door closed on top of his guitar cord, so no sound. Although he’s a Knicks fan, because he lives in LA he’ll be seen at those games more likely and either on or near the floor or up in his agency’s suite eating chicken. Kobe indicated in an interview with Dan that he’d like to be in a Sandler movie. Sandler was up for that. The next role for Dan will be in a Sandler western themed movie wearing cowboy gear head to toe including what sounds like ass chaps and a possible love interest. Script to be in Dan’s hands in about two weeks. Sandler guaranteed he’ll be a cool, funny cowboy that’s solid and more manly than Dan’s role in Grown Ups 2. There was no talk of parts for the Danettes. They were given one shot to prove themselves in That’s My Boy and they must not have gotten it done. No background extras, no ranch hands, no little buckaroos, no Danettes. Sounds like the closest they’ll get now is a possible invite to the next NYC premier whenever that happens. The Danettes were one and done like a Kentucky freshman basketball player.

Limited Danette Love

Happy Friday Fritzy
John Elway will be calling in tomorrow and Fritzy will be additionally nervous and jumping to answer the phone. He may stumble on his words a bit, but who wouldn’t after getting a chance to speak to one of their sports idols. If this were Joe Montana or David Beckham calling in, it would be Paulie doing the same thing.

Will John's smile be as wide after Fritzy answers the phone? 

Naughty Not Nice
While looking at more ornaments that came in, in the back room, Seton noticed that someone sent in one of his favorite treats, boxes of TastyKakes. There was one box that was opened, and TastyKakes were missing. The finger was pointed at Wild Bill, one of the cameramen, but he may not have been the culprit. Which BRG, back room guy, or Danette just couldn’t wait to fulfill the need of their sweet tooth? That’s yet to be learned. Just another man cave mystery. Dan and the boys found themselves coming back from break when they were still in the back room. Everyone was scrambling to get back. Dan was stuck behind Fritzy who was not moving as quickly as others were and received a "Let’s go! Move your fat ass!" from Dan as a motivator.

Has Seton introduced his son to these delights? 
Betcha he did!

Seeking Heat Seeking Missile
The Seton/DP favorite yellow football is still missing. The focus shifted to Paulie today who denied knowing where the football was. The intensity of questions from DP picked up after Paulie made a remark about not being able to catch the ball normally. Fritzy chimed in that he never saw Paulie play with it. Paulie said after the questioning he felt like Tommy Tuberville did after he was peppered with questions from Dan about college coaches not finishing out their contracts when those same coaches preach that the program is all about the kids. Something to keep in mind, Paulie never directly answered Dan’s questions. The yellow football mystery continues as well. While Seton was taking a quick look around the front of the desk area he a Paulie share, he pulled out a black sombrero that has a back story that couldn’t be talked about. Hmmm, saying there’s something that can’t be talked about means they need to talk about this. We can only hope it will be sometime soon.

What dark secret does this hat hold?

TMS
You’ve heard of TMI, today the BRG (back room guys) had TMS, too much sound. The sound of Dan using the bathroom was most likely not desired. Better to hear Dan than when Fritzy is in here.

Add no mic to the sign please, 
Thank you - BRG

Fritzy’s Joy
Nothing was more satisfying for Fritzy today, when he was having a mediocre day, than someone else trying to do what he does, without success. Sven in CA called in with his mock headlines and struggled big time. Chanukah joy for Fritzy.

If Fritzy could, he would 

They Remembered Me!
Dan let us know that he got a Christmas card from someone at the Mothership. He wouldn’t say who because they’re all on scholarships there. Wonder how Seton’s doing on his occupy ESPN Christmas tree project.

There were wishes of holiday happiness from an  ESPN person to DP 

Creepy, Yet Flattering
An ornament grouping that came in from CA was revealed today. Dan’s head was on the star for the top of the tree. Each Danette head was covering the face of four different SI swimsuit models from the wall of morale. For the Danette’s, the new images are etched in their minds and they’ll never look at the wall of morale quite the same.

Thanks for sharing???

O Christmas Tree, Calling a Spade a Spade, & More

Dan Calls a Spade a Spade
Did you know that in order to recruit players in the NCAA you need to pass an annual recruiting test of thirty questions on NCAA rules? If you did know before today, GOOD FOR YOU! Bobby Petrino, the Kentucky football head coach, found out he passed his test and can go out and recruit. That was probably the most informative part of the interview. What could have made it better? Petrino being open and honest and not skirt the issues when Dan threw the tough questions his way. Dan isn’t disingenuous with his guests or with his audience. If he calls a spade a spade on the air before they come on, he does it while they’re on the air too. Unlike other radio shows that say one thing when the guest isn’t on the air and another when they are. It wasn’t Petrino’s affair that Dan was after, it was that he hired his mistress for an opening at the Arkansas athletic department violating rules and how when he left the Atlanta Falcons he told the players by leaving a note in their lockers. 

How far will Petrino’s remorse get him?

O Brother Where Art Thou?
Fritzy needed his brother’s help in more ways then one today. One of the problems was the mock headlines on the Patriots/Texans game that only earned a "That’s terrible" from Seton and groans from everyone else on the first submission. From there, not a single sound effect, not even crickets. To top that, he was followed by Sven who didn’t have to do anything more than breathe to be better than Fritzy. The writer brother was so missed and needed.

Even dogs can get in on Fritzy's first mock headline!

Sven in CA’s Grudenisms only Jon understands:

Wham break

Dagger squad combination

Short area quickness

Peek-a-boo sack 

And my favorite:

Big iron gear on your lawn

Football linguist from another planet

Second problem Fritzy encountered was the report of his time with the make up artist for the NYC promo shoot yesterday. Poor Lana. She was probably just short of saying "My eyes are up here!" and putting in some ear plugs. Fritzy is a chatterer. The kind that either out of nervousness or because they like hearing the sound of their voice, or they just don’t know any better, talk and talk and talk and talk. Even if you’ve tuned them out, and they know you have tuned them out, continue to talk. 

Did Lana really need to know Fritzy had a hernia surgery coming up?

Can Danette Deficiency Help Dan Win?

Dan was nominated for the National Sportscaster of the Year award with a bunch of play by play guys. They have it easy, watch a game, talk with analyst, talk with players, go home.  The voting committee needs to factor in difficulty before deciding the award. The difficulty of who you work with each day determines your worth. If the voting committee did that, Dan would be a multi-time winner. Dan was able to put the Danettes in what will probably be their one and only movie! That should garner a lifetime achievement award! As a reminder this is what Dan is working with:

Fritzy – mock headlines, cougar of the day, constant emailing pictures of women
Paulie – has no joy, obsessed with soccer, meanest Danette
Seton – can’t figure out who the winner of a TV is, fights with McLovin like a brother
McLovin – Where do you start? Where do you stop?

Here’s a list of other nominees in Dan’s category:

National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association 

National Sportscaster Nominees 

Al Michaels, NBC

Bob Costas, NBC/MLB Network

Dan Patrick, NBC/"The Dan Patrick Show"

Dan Shulman, ESPN

Brad Nessler, ABC/ESPN/NFL Network

Jim Nantz, CBS

Joe Buck, Fox

Mike Tirico, ESPN/ABC

Mike Emrick, NBC

Kevin Harlan, CBS/TNT

Could any other nominee than Dan win with this support staff?

O Christmas Tree!

Back in the Miford man cave and we find that the Christmas tree is up and the Menorah is lit. 2012 ornaments are starting to come in. Dan and the Danettes did a viewing of the ornaments received so far and Dan has a message for one special audience member: He can’t be bribed, because of it’s questionable content he can’t take it home, and it can’t go up on the tree but he can be entertained. For someone at the Mothership that still knows a good thing when they see/hear it, he did receive your ESPN ornament for the tree. He has no problem with that. Dan loves his ESPN staff audience. Would ESPN have a problem with an ornament from DP’s show up on the ESPN Christmas tree in their lobby? Seton’s current mission is occupy Christmas tree but he needs to do it in a covert manner, so no help from the audience please. He knows you’re enthusiastic helpers, but for this one he needs to go it alone.

His sleepy look is only cover for his trickery

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

You have no balls but the lights are neat.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

You need a hot chick to make you sweet.

Fritzy creeps the girls away, 

Danny Jaw Face hates those days.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

It may be only men that touch thee.

Will Chrissy make a return appearance this year?

You can send your 2012 ornament to:

The Dan Patrick Show

P.O. Box 591 

Milford, CT 06460

Ornaments will be eligible win a gift!

Dissed! Lost Not Found, Eeww That Smell! Did That Mean Me?

The Whiff
When I say whiff, I don’t mean swing and miss, I mean eeww!  McLovin has come to work 4 days in a row now without showering. His excuse?  The baby has the croup.  That’s a new one.  Dan made the offer to him on Tuesday to use the shower in his bathroom in the Milford man cave.  McLovin didn’t take him up on it for fear of being filmed.  What’s the big deal?  You willingly took a shower in 2011 on camera and had no problems then.  Dan offered the use of his shower again today, just bring your own towel. Seton keeps a towel at the man cave if he needs to use the shower there. It’s more than time that McLovin do the same.

Wash away the smell, wash away the paint

Did that mean me?
Seton sent out a memo to everyone reminding them that in the coming weeks they needed to wear DP gear to support holiday merchandise sales.  So who acted on the memo?  Just the boss.  Dan gets a gold star. The rest get sent to the corner.

If the cap fits, wear it.
Oh yeah, they forgot to wear that too. 

Dissed
Not only did Dan have problems with his earpiece Sunday night, he had a problem with one of the head coaches, Bill Belichick. After Belichick came onto the field, he stopped and shook Tony Dungy and Rodney Harrison’s hands then turned and walked away not shaking Dan’s hand. Was this a message to Dan about the comments he has made about Bill’s post game pressers or did he have tunnel vision?

Dan? I don't see Dan

Bravo Fritzy!
After lots of luke warm hits and many more than that misses, Fritzy had a hot run of mock headlines today on Ndamukong Suh’s kick to the groin of Matt Shaub.  Figures doesn’t it that he didn’t hit gold until a subject game up that involved genitalia.

Up and to the right, it's good!

Objects not where they should be -
Part one: Seton forgot to bring his maid to work with him today and Dan found his dirty bowl and spoon left on the bar counter.  Dan was not pleased.  How many MVD points were subtracted with this offense? We will see.

Part two: Oh where, oh where did the yellow football go?  Was it hidden because someone didn’t play with it like the others did and they were jealous?  Did someone take it home and forget to bring it back?  Did someone take it home to give it as a gift?  Is it hidden where it would be difficult to find in order to get back at a friendly foe? Did it get tossed in the dumpster outside? Stayed tuned, there should be more drama to follow with this story.

Who did what to this
favored item?

Giving Thanks for Football and More

Thank You

First Responders – you do something I would not be able to do putting your bodies and emotions on the line every day to help your communities stay safe and aid us when in need.

American Red Cross – for being there in times of disaster and need.  Many of the victims of Hurricane Sandy are not going to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with their normal traditions.  They’re having to do the best they can with what they have left, or what they are being offered this year.  My wish for them is that before next Thanksgiving their lives are back to being their own.  The need is still there. 


Website:  www.redcross.org 

Text: To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone:  1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018 
        Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.

Men and women of our military - you risk their lives abroad and can not be with their families today.  I wish God speed in getting you all back home safe and sound.  You keep our country the land of the free and we will remain the home for you, the brave. 

Organizations, non-profits and volunteers - they support so many necessary causes both human and animal.  I can not imagine what our world would be like without you.

Faith, family and friends - I hold all dear, past and present, thank you for being there when I need you.  To those that have and do shape my life in education and experience both good and bad, thank you.

Readers and followers - I wouldn't be here, on this page, without you.

A full day of football coverage - from the time that I wake to the time I rest to help distract from those things about gathering with family that aren’t so great, thank you.

Have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

May your Thanksgiving be more or less
Looney as mine!