Tales from South Beach, Hanging Off Emmy and More

Tales from South Beach

Look! I played ball too!

Dan saw Jesse Palmer of Bachelor and Florida football fame. Women would just approach him and ask to take a picture with him because they loved him on the Bachelor not knowing or caring that he was once hot in the college ranks as well. Pop culture.

Oh! Greg! There you are!

Dan didn’t realize it at first, but he ran across Greg McElroy from the Jets. He told McElroy if he had turned around and laid on his back, as if he had been sacked, Dan would have recognized him sooner. Greg didn’t think it was that funny. Come on man, loosen up!

Situation Not. Good.

Needing to be shady and not another type of shady at the same time, Dan was faced with a beach decision. As Dan was returning from his walk on the beach, he ran across a group of topless women and a couple of guys sun bathing. Dan could not look, only glance, as he didn’t have his sunglasses. One of the guys was putting lotion on his girlfriend’s back and recognized Dan. He invited Dan to finish applying the lotion. Dan declined the offer as well as the offer to have a beer with them. Nothing good would have come of either of those exchanges. Surely TMZ, Radar Online or Dead Spin would have caught either participation. In the words of Brady Hoke from Michigan, "Not. Good."

Who's Brent spotting now?

What does everyone agree was missing from Brent Musburger’s creepy, old guy description of AJ McCarren’s girlfriend, who was sitting in the stands watching the game? One of Fritzy’s hug moans – "Hmmm."









Silent Voices from the Past  

Facebook finds the interior crack

It’s been 30 years and Dan still talks about the one that got away, Jenny Bashee. So who sends him a Facebook friend request during the first segment of the show. You guessed it. What’s her motivation for opening old wounds? Who knows? She put our man Dan in a tailspin during the break - crossing his arms in defense, looking down at the floor, pacing, and seeking Danette advice. Fortunately, Dan’s a pro, he was able to make a valiant come back and move on once he was back behind the mic. Woman, unless your hair was on fire, you were tied to a chair and Dan was the only one on earth, you don’t 
contact Dan with this type of stuff while 
he’s on the air!


                Top Elephant

Twitter brings the mock headlines
Bama's elephant brought the crush

There was no way there were not going to be great mock headlines generated by the BCS Championship game. But who would provide the best? Random tweets Paulie took last night? Sven in Ca? Fritzy? The best headlines came from the random tweets that Paulie took last night. Watch out! New kids in town!




Hanging Off Emmy  

Kevin's mug

New item in the man cave today now hanging from the Emmy on the turnstile as part of Dan’s desk – an autographed coffee mug Brian Baumgartner sent that looks like him.  It came off of his desk that was on the set of The Office.  

Yep, still smelly

Earlier on, Dan received Jack Taylor’s record breaking, game worn socks.

Only Paulie and Seton (sort of) know

Paulie’s working on another item for the man cave but can’t talk about it right now.  There has been a lot of jumping through hoops and going through many channels of approval.  We’re about 90% there, Paulie reports.  Dan doesn’t know what it is or who it’s coming from and tried to get a hint by asking what sport it’s coming from.  Being the great producer, Paulie wouldn’t budge.  Seton was told, but of course, doesn’t remember.

                No Emmy Here 

McLovin got his acting inspiration from
"Erica Kane" circa 1980's

Although there was lots of drama, McLovin will not be getting an Emmy for his performance in and out of the box. Maybe he’ll be able to get an additional Awful Announcing award for hamming it. "Poor me", coughing, changing his voice, collapsing on the floor as he reached for the door knob, crawling out of the box to towards the bar, grabbing the leg of a bar stool and toppling it on top of him. Susan Lucci would be proud. Even McLovin admitted he took it too far.

Who’s in Nick’s Head? 

Nick's on his way to Hotel California

Nick Saban, Head Coach from Alabama, has plans. Plans to finish recruiting loose ends and then head to the lake and play air guitar. Off his iPad he’ll be playing along with the 70’s and 80’s guitar heroes of Clapton, Who, Stones, Zeppelin and Hootie and the Blowfish. Yes, Hootie, rock icon. Even Darius Rucker would back off of that description. For what it’s worth, he’s also partials to the Eagles… band.


　

　

　

　

Who You Got?, Wanted !, The Ride In, No Dan Today

No Dan Today

Dan is soaking up the sun by day and football by night in Miami at the BCS title game. In studio today for Dan was Chris Mannix for Sports Illustrated and SI.com. Continue to reach for the stars Chris. Dan is expected back Tuesday. One day, some day, Chris you will be the one they call first because they want to call you first.  By the way, you are a better writer, better on mic, know how to wear your clothes and are more athletic than McLovin even though you’re a little on the undeveloped side torso-wise. Word – weights. Just sayin'.

           The Ride In

The bleery look?
Side effect of the car ride.

Mannix car-pooled with McLovin on the way in today. He characterized the ride as pathetic. First, McLovin isn’t a driver, he’s a rider, a train rider. Mannix is lucky he wasn’t killed on the way in. Second, it’s not a guy’s car, it’s a family car with two child seats in the back. Third, the car is a breeding ground for illness. The kids have been sick, McLovin is sick. Short of sticking his head out the car window, trying not to touch anything and then sterilizing once out, Mannix took his chances by getting in. Fourth, even when McLovin is in control he’s still not on time. Even though McLovin picked up Chris late, some how he made up time during the drive so they could barely get there in time. Mannix was right, you can’t use the kids as an excuse. That was your decision and you have to deal with it, not everyone else. McLovin’s life = birth control for others.  Chris will be taking his chances on the train for the ride home. 

       Who You Got?

It’s seems if you’re Irish, Catholic or from Indiana you’re picking Notre Dame.  If you’re rooting for Alabama it seems you’re anyone else.  At least that’s how it is where I’m from.  

It’s not all that different in the man cave today either.  Friendly little wager: Loser wears suit coat, shirt and tie the next time they work together.  Since none of them like to dress that way, it’s a matter of comfort.  Mannix took Bama, Paulie and Seton took Notre Dame.   

                  Wanted!

Ha !  
He's not going to be your coach  !

Our man Tony Dungy, FNIA, has been contacted by third parties from different NFL teams about head coaching jobs. Sorry, not interested. Maybe had he been contacted by the owners or GMs of the teams he may have felt otherwise? Respect.

What was McLovin doing with his pants unzipped?

Hello y’all – So I’m sitting in front of the TV, bleary eyed with the brain moving slower than normal from staying up late last night to watch Dan on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I definitely need that diet soda at my side. The dogs are sound asleep at my feet and side. It’s tempting to follow their lead, but there’s no such thing today.

Today is Red Hook flannel Friday and Fritzy Bronco jersey/baseball cap day. What caught you ear or eye today?

Fritzy in one of his
Bronco outfits

Fritzy tried a couple of Honey Badger arrest mock headlines today but they just hit the wrong note. Too soon? McLovin and Fritzy were caught talking during the show and Fritzy was not following along with the show during the first hour. Dan called out three times before Fritzy answered and then he was so startled he didn’t answer back but instead nodded his head to Dan’s question. Fritzy does know this goes out on the radio too, right?

Boy did they get this slogan right

Cougar of the week was left on the fax machine again and Dan found it. Ok, not the actual cougar of the week, the information about the cougar. Dan promised Fritzy that he wouldn’t ruin the reveal as he had done once before. I don’t’ think it would have mattered.  The cougar of the week was Claudia Schiffer:

Rick Neuheisel guested today and we were treated to a two-fer Friday song parody he wrote, sang and played for the show on his guitar. He wrote parodies to Sweet Home Alabama for Alabama and the theme from Animal House for Oregan for national title songs. This was bringing the show into a new area, the guest writing their own content. We were reminded that passion bucket came from Rick as well. No matter what your segment was, or when you did it during the show, no one was going to top Neuheisel today. And Fritzy, what cha doin’ trying to take away his thunder? Major weaksauce.

UCLA autographed passion bucket

During one of the commercial breaks I noticed something I hadn’t before: The making of the promos commercial - Paulie is explaining his bit with the eggs; h tilts his head downward; the darkness of his hair in the shot and the darkened background behind him it looks like he only has hair on the sides and not on the top. Oooof!

In the just can’t get it right department: Dan was letting the audience know that the big announcement of the additional TV partner effective Monday will be made Sunday night on FNIA. Fritzy just had to jump in there and blow another surprise. Fortunately, he didn’t have his mic on, so it wasn’t picked up clearly and the passion bucket made another dollar. McLovin also didn’t have his mic on and will owe the passion bucket again as he tried to give Dan a twenty. If you have something you don’t want everyone to hear, don’t tell Fritzy. Dan has told the story before about how Fritzy had told Dan’s wife Dan had bought an Airstream as a gift for her. Big surprise flushed down the toilet. Thanks Fritzy. What is certain is that there will be an additional home Monday morning bringing availability to 100 million homes. For the press statement when Dan joined Directv he said he "worked best when facing in a south easterly direction." Looking for that type of wit for the Sunday announcement.

Make sure you watch Sunday for
Dan's big announcement!

Against the Grain Moved to the touch flat screen next to the golf simulator -   On it was a list of the NFL teams listed by division and their standings a’ la McLovin. He was giving his commentary of each team. The appearance of the screen would indicate that this was also posted to the website. Dan got bored fairly quickly with the presentation. He crossed over the camera shot to get a chair, sat down and was drifting off until he was asked to give his Chris Berman imitation of "Da Raiders". Not often does Dan go over to the opposite side of the studio to broadcast and it may be a while before he does again. The pitch offered for ATG was better than the presentation. Maybe if McLovin had completed his prep for the piece and performed a run through the day before instead of the moment of, this would have had better appeal. From what Dan had said, McLovin had been slacking for two and a half hours and had built himself a tall order to fill. It wasn’t a graphics department glitch, there is no graphics department. It wasn’t because you were doing it live. You always do it live. It was lack of good organization and preparation. And what did Dan catch McLovin doing with his pants unzipped behind the golf simulator wall?

Picture McLovin used for the ATG piece
How...........appealing

Dan had received many requests from viewers asking for his opinion on what Steven A Smith had said on ESPN’s First Take. "Whatever they (ESPN) decide to do I don’t give a damn." Just because you are on a cable/satellite station doesn’t give you a hall pass to use that terminology. Dan is sensitive to the use of the word. "It’s just not a good word." Quite frankly, the explanation that the ESPN executive gave Paulie was more confusing to me than ESPN omitting that portion of the program on the re-air. ESPN is a star driven network. No matter what your skin color, who you hang with or how you speak with them when you are off air, you shouldn’t use that slang on a national or world wide broadcast. It’s not Dan’s job to police the network he left. That can be someone else’s job and I’m pretty sure it is. Something positive we did learn from Paulie in the box was something he learned when he was working with Jay Glazer. Never give up your source to anyone, even your co-worker or boss. You’ll burn your source. Dan has asked about sources of Paulie’s before and he didn’t give them up and Dan respected Paulie for his ethics. Good guys. Good show.

Glazer rockin' positivity

The Arcade Fire Friday Tribute:Done towards the end of the show on Fridays, went to Directv for making it possible to join forces with another network on Monday. When Dan joined Directv he wanted to make sure that the show had distribution and Directv lived up to their word. They are truly a force to be wreckoned with. A big thank you from all of us in the audience as well for bringing it to a new level. Here come the music, everybody sing along! BaHaHaHa!

Only on Directv

For a little levity:At the end of the show we listened to the replay of the Gary Miller soccer breakdown in 3, 2, 1. Let’s make that mental breakdown in 3, 2, 1. Dan dies of laughter each time it’s played. As he says, that’s still damn funny. Front row was getting into it, the back row were stiff as boards just clicking away on their computers. Really, are they 100% into the show today?

Gary Miller ESPN

Additional show nugget: From the Just Go With It Premier: Brooklyn Decker had complained that there was an unnamed Danette that had put their hands too low when they hugged her. Until today we all figured it was Fritzy. In actuality it was Seton. With the height difference between him and her, his hands just fell a wee bit too low for her comfort. She’s really become touchy since Dan got her that acting gig that launched that portion of her career.



Sandler and Decker in Just Go With It

More beer?! Yes, more beer for sampling today after the show. What a long day with more work, wink, to come. 

Coming to you from the NYC man cave on Monday: Tony Dungy, Eric Burns and Pat Forte

From The Box Score Show: The topic of the player that had beer written in his contract came up. Casey had asked, what would you have written into your contract? McLovin: a true personal friendship with Dan. Fritzy: Bronco season tickets, hugs and sausages in the blanket. Paulie: A personal chef. Seton: Craft services. Talk of what would happen if Dan left in ten years. Paulie would probably have a spin off, Seton would probably be fired before then, Fritzy would stay with Dan to the end. There wasn’t a response from McLovin.

Boss’ Thoughts:These were actually the boss’ bathroom thoughts where he thought that mock headlines were now being mocked because of all the additions to the program from the audience and front row. But wasn’t Dan offering his thoughts from the bathroom also mocking the mock headlines?

Side note: Dan’s visit on Jimmy Fallon will be separately posted.

Dan with Jimmy Fallon 10/26/12

So, what did you learn today?