Who You Got?, Wanted !, The Ride In, No Dan Today

No Dan Today

Dan is soaking up the sun by day and football by night in Miami at the BCS title game. In studio today for Dan was Chris Mannix for Sports Illustrated and SI.com. Continue to reach for the stars Chris. Dan is expected back Tuesday. One day, some day, Chris you will be the one they call first because they want to call you first.  By the way, you are a better writer, better on mic, know how to wear your clothes and are more athletic than McLovin even though you’re a little on the undeveloped side torso-wise. Word – weights. Just sayin'.

           The Ride In

The bleery look?
Side effect of the car ride.

Mannix car-pooled with McLovin on the way in today. He characterized the ride as pathetic. First, McLovin isn’t a driver, he’s a rider, a train rider. Mannix is lucky he wasn’t killed on the way in. Second, it’s not a guy’s car, it’s a family car with two child seats in the back. Third, the car is a breeding ground for illness. The kids have been sick, McLovin is sick. Short of sticking his head out the car window, trying not to touch anything and then sterilizing once out, Mannix took his chances by getting in. Fourth, even when McLovin is in control he’s still not on time. Even though McLovin picked up Chris late, some how he made up time during the drive so they could barely get there in time. Mannix was right, you can’t use the kids as an excuse. That was your decision and you have to deal with it, not everyone else. McLovin’s life = birth control for others.  Chris will be taking his chances on the train for the ride home. 

       Who You Got?

It’s seems if you’re Irish, Catholic or from Indiana you’re picking Notre Dame.  If you’re rooting for Alabama it seems you’re anyone else.  At least that’s how it is where I’m from.  

It’s not all that different in the man cave today either.  Friendly little wager: Loser wears suit coat, shirt and tie the next time they work together.  Since none of them like to dress that way, it’s a matter of comfort.  Mannix took Bama, Paulie and Seton took Notre Dame.   

                  Wanted!

Ha !  
He's not going to be your coach  !

Our man Tony Dungy, FNIA, has been contacted by third parties from different NFL teams about head coaching jobs. Sorry, not interested. Maybe had he been contacted by the owners or GMs of the teams he may have felt otherwise? Respect.

Sponsor Unplugged, Pleasure & Guilt, Keep Your Hands to Yourself,

             Sponsor Unplugged

The jersey's in a moving box somewhere

LaDainian Tomlinson from the NFL Network has something that Dan wants, but the NFL Network had something they wanted in return from Dan. The problem is, that wasn’t put on the pre-interview notes that were given to Dan. Dan didn’t really get what he wanted, LT’s Vikings jersey that was previously promised and not delivered, but he did get a very good interview. The NFL Network didn’t get what they wanted, at first, the plug for the Melissa Stark interview with Mike Shanahan, Redskins head coach, that will be airing on Sunday. The interview is over, guest says goodbye, move on and that’s it. Not quite. Fritzy was contacted by the network unhappy that the promised plug in exchange for getting LT was not done. Fritzy relayed the message to Dan during the break and rightfully so, Dan expressed his displeasure with Fritzy for not following through and getting that information into the notes. Dan does not take lightly to being made a fool when it comes to professional obligations with established relationships. So they return from break and Dan back pedals but it comes off looking more like a commercial than a casual plug built into the interview. Thanks Fritzy.

How could Fritzy forget Melissa!
Shown here in a visit to the NYC man cave

Uh, It wasn’t in the Mail

It's not easy being Nick Taylor

When you’re having a party, do you talk about it with the people you invited in front of the people you didn’t?  Dan made that social blunder today in talking about the upcoming staff Christmas party that Dan and his wife throw each year since leaving the Mothership.  One of the cameramen, Nick, @Nick Tay Tay, told Casey he was upset he wasn’t invited.  Casey in turn sent an email, and then Paulie told Dan.  So Dan hand delivered an invitation to Nick in front of someone else Dan didn’t invite, Cosmo, the bald cameraman.  Awkward.  Wonder if Wild Bill got one?  Don’t feel so bad guys.  One year Seton didn’t get an invitation either.  Lots to look forward to – Fritzy, sadly no chunky oatmeal Christmas sweater this year, leaving early, Seton getting there late, Paulie getting there early for a good start on the premo food, and McLovin shadowing Dan all night to see if Dan is talking about him.  Good times. 

Three years in a row and out.  Goodbye chunky oatmeal Christmas sweater!

Keep Your Hands to Yourself 
Everyone knows how cherished the Notre Dame locker and contents are to Dan and Seton. But not everyone respects the locker. When questions were being asked by Dan as to who was playing with the memorabilia, McLovin suddenly said he had to use the bathroom and rushed by everyone and out the hallway doors. He didn’t rush off to the bathroom though. Instead he rushed through the green room and into the back room to hide and watch on the monitors what was being said and done after he left. Weak sauce.

Peek a boo, I see you!  Whatcha doin'?

Pleasure and Guilt

Spicoli?

One of Dan’s pleasures is watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Is it because of Phoebe Cates? Maybe. Or is it because of pop culture icon Spicoli, played by Sean Penn, and all the awesomeness his character embodies? Maybe. Ok, it’s both. When you feel you need to quickly change the channel to an infomercial so your daughters don’t know what you’re watching, that’s a guilty pleasure.

Or Linda?
And ....reveal

        

High manipulation, celebrity burns and itches

Jim Parsons has an itch and it’s bad
While appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jim Parsons, Emmy winner who plays Sheldon on CBS’s Big Bang Theory, spoke of his desire to join the show as an unpaid summer intern. He didn’t think he would be a big contributor but would love to be part of the Danettes, naming each of them as he continued to speak of his yearning. Could he replace McLovin?  Fritzy wouldn’t mind having him in the back row.  DP thought he could give the poll question results just as good as McLovin but McLovin wondered if he would be able to lie about the results the way he can.  As Jim said, he loves the show and thought for a long time how he would like to be a part of his favorite group of people in the world. He could learn about sports and make new friends.  The boys could always use another friend, especially a celebrity friend. Jay reminded him that Dan’s part of NBC now and Jay could give Dan a call. Parsons seemed giddy when he responded to the news: “Is he? Please try!”  For the betterment of the show McLovin would not take the summer off to make room for Jim to intern.  If Dan tried, he would be kicking and screaming as he was shoved out the door. Parsons can’t take over for Two-a-Days as he should be displayed on camera. In the box McLovin claimed he could do what any of the Danettes or Casey does but couldn’t answer the phones for Two-a-Days as he can get confused. (That explains a lot.)  The only other person he admitted he couldn’t replace was DP.  After trying to take The Box Score to break, he proved he couldn’t take over for Casey either.  Dan reminded McLovin that he put himself in the position to be expendable. OUCH!

Longing for a man cave invite

I like a non-sports poll question 
I’ve said it before and I like what I said.  I like a non-sports poll question that gets you to react.  Today we had two: Where would you rather get hit in a cheap shot – head, knees, junk? That was Paulie’s contribution.  The other came from Seton: Which is a better nickname Johnny Baseball or Johnny Football?  Personal preference is the first question It made me chuckle and visualize.  Dan was not so hot on either.  After Dan’s criticism McLovin quickly jumped ship and threw the blame at the originators but had Dan liked one of them he would have taken the credit. McLovin thinks this is a team when he’s looking for support but it’s all about him when things are going his way.  The clock is ticking McLovin, you need to get creative dude because the Locker Room and other audience members are licking their chops for their opportunity to take over the poll. Really, how much longer will DP let him twist in the wind before he cuts the cord on the poll.

Hit groin, hit ground, roll around in pain

Don’t stand so close to me!
Personal boundary lines were being crossed today as McLovin came up to speak to Seton as he was adjusting his waistband and belt at what was Seton’s face level.  Awkward!  Send in the Police!

Does my mid-section near your head make you nervous?

Touch down Jesus in the Notre Dame helmet?
Is there an image of Jesus in last week’s SI cover?  You can’t tell by the website but it’s evident in the enlarged cover poster sent to and on display in the man cave.  Divine intervention for this heavenly season?

Dear Touch Down Jesus, just one more win

To ESPY or not to ESPY, that is the question
A much unexpected invite came from the people who are doing the ESPY’s for Dan to attend.  In what capacity we’re not sure.  What we are sure of is that the invite didn’t come from ESPN management.
Dan was told he’d be treated like a king.  Definitely not words that would come from the mouth of Mothership management. Dan said he didn’t need to go, he’s been there and done that before and not all of it was good.  Dan’s left his mark, done his damage.  But what if he was given the opportunity to present with Hannah Storm.  Now that would be a smoke show.

Could this woman change
Dan's mind about the ESPY's?

Seton gets burned by a celebrity
Chris O’Donnell, most recently of NCIS LA fame, offered a stat of the day to Seton for the show.  Seton ran with it.  The only problem was that the stat was a stat that was used on many other shows the day before.  Had Seton only shared what he planned to do during the morning meeting he could have been spared the embarrassment.  Instead he chose to go with the – dude I’m good approach.  Lesson learned. Was the burn intentional? Is Chris O’Donnell an ESPN operative?

Seton's friend or foe?

Is Dan a selfish lover the way he’s a selfish baller?   
Can he take you all day on the court?  Can he make it all night long?  The answer is nope to both. But he can give you ten minutes of electrifying offense.  Hope he’s a quality scorer in both of those ten minutes. DP, say it isn’t so, that you’re on your way to Viagraville.

T minus 3 to launch of ______

What’s your definition of high manipulation?
Sven in CA called in with five phrases that Jon Gruden said during the Monday Night Football game that made no sense to him.  One of those phrases was High Manipulation.  Fritzy had his own definition that everyone anticipated. Oh pervy Fritzy, I shake my head.

The music beats to only his drum

Sometimes an Ivy League education just isn't enough
There has been more than one occasion that McLovin has spoken a word in a way that almost no one else would pronounce it.  Today was one of those occasions.  The phrase was: double-edged sword.  The word he could not pronounce was sword.  McLovin pronounces the w instead of making it silent.  It was so funny that Dan gagged on his Starbucks yogurt.  This just led to more of what McLovin called Danette on Danette crime when then room filled with laughter.  Between this and all the Jim Parson comments from Dan and the pre-reveal teasing by the other Danettes about the painted hair and not taking a shower for two days in a row was too much for him to handle. There was a short who’s been picked on more lately back and forth between the back row. The front row was described as hard working, lunch pail kind of guys where those words would not be used for the back row. McLovin complained about cliques in the man cave and Dan offered to get together again to talk about this – maybe.  Oh, Dan must be so tired sometimes when he leaves the studio.

Maybe this speaking module can help McLovin