Who You Got?, Wanted !, The Ride In, No Dan Today

No Dan Today

Dan is soaking up the sun by day and football by night in Miami at the BCS title game. In studio today for Dan was Chris Mannix for Sports Illustrated and SI.com. Continue to reach for the stars Chris. Dan is expected back Tuesday. One day, some day, Chris you will be the one they call first because they want to call you first.  By the way, you are a better writer, better on mic, know how to wear your clothes and are more athletic than McLovin even though you’re a little on the undeveloped side torso-wise. Word – weights. Just sayin'.

           The Ride In

The bleery look?
Side effect of the car ride.

Mannix car-pooled with McLovin on the way in today. He characterized the ride as pathetic. First, McLovin isn’t a driver, he’s a rider, a train rider. Mannix is lucky he wasn’t killed on the way in. Second, it’s not a guy’s car, it’s a family car with two child seats in the back. Third, the car is a breeding ground for illness. The kids have been sick, McLovin is sick. Short of sticking his head out the car window, trying not to touch anything and then sterilizing once out, Mannix took his chances by getting in. Fourth, even when McLovin is in control he’s still not on time. Even though McLovin picked up Chris late, some how he made up time during the drive so they could barely get there in time. Mannix was right, you can’t use the kids as an excuse. That was your decision and you have to deal with it, not everyone else. McLovin’s life = birth control for others.  Chris will be taking his chances on the train for the ride home. 

       Who You Got?

It’s seems if you’re Irish, Catholic or from Indiana you’re picking Notre Dame.  If you’re rooting for Alabama it seems you’re anyone else.  At least that’s how it is where I’m from.  

It’s not all that different in the man cave today either.  Friendly little wager: Loser wears suit coat, shirt and tie the next time they work together.  Since none of them like to dress that way, it’s a matter of comfort.  Mannix took Bama, Paulie and Seton took Notre Dame.   

                  Wanted!

Ha !  
He's not going to be your coach  !

Our man Tony Dungy, FNIA, has been contacted by third parties from different NFL teams about head coaching jobs. Sorry, not interested. Maybe had he been contacted by the owners or GMs of the teams he may have felt otherwise? Respect.

O Christmas Tree, Calling a Spade a Spade, & More

Dan Calls a Spade a Spade
Did you know that in order to recruit players in the NCAA you need to pass an annual recruiting test of thirty questions on NCAA rules? If you did know before today, GOOD FOR YOU! Bobby Petrino, the Kentucky football head coach, found out he passed his test and can go out and recruit. That was probably the most informative part of the interview. What could have made it better? Petrino being open and honest and not skirt the issues when Dan threw the tough questions his way. Dan isn’t disingenuous with his guests or with his audience. If he calls a spade a spade on the air before they come on, he does it while they’re on the air too. Unlike other radio shows that say one thing when the guest isn’t on the air and another when they are. It wasn’t Petrino’s affair that Dan was after, it was that he hired his mistress for an opening at the Arkansas athletic department violating rules and how when he left the Atlanta Falcons he told the players by leaving a note in their lockers. 

How far will Petrino’s remorse get him?

O Brother Where Art Thou?
Fritzy needed his brother’s help in more ways then one today. One of the problems was the mock headlines on the Patriots/Texans game that only earned a "That’s terrible" from Seton and groans from everyone else on the first submission. From there, not a single sound effect, not even crickets. To top that, he was followed by Sven who didn’t have to do anything more than breathe to be better than Fritzy. The writer brother was so missed and needed.

Even dogs can get in on Fritzy's first mock headline!

Sven in CA’s Grudenisms only Jon understands:

Wham break

Dagger squad combination

Short area quickness

Peek-a-boo sack 

And my favorite:

Big iron gear on your lawn

Football linguist from another planet

Second problem Fritzy encountered was the report of his time with the make up artist for the NYC promo shoot yesterday. Poor Lana. She was probably just short of saying "My eyes are up here!" and putting in some ear plugs. Fritzy is a chatterer. The kind that either out of nervousness or because they like hearing the sound of their voice, or they just don’t know any better, talk and talk and talk and talk. Even if you’ve tuned them out, and they know you have tuned them out, continue to talk. 

Did Lana really need to know Fritzy had a hernia surgery coming up?

Can Danette Deficiency Help Dan Win?

Dan was nominated for the National Sportscaster of the Year award with a bunch of play by play guys. They have it easy, watch a game, talk with analyst, talk with players, go home.  The voting committee needs to factor in difficulty before deciding the award. The difficulty of who you work with each day determines your worth. If the voting committee did that, Dan would be a multi-time winner. Dan was able to put the Danettes in what will probably be their one and only movie! That should garner a lifetime achievement award! As a reminder this is what Dan is working with:

Fritzy – mock headlines, cougar of the day, constant emailing pictures of women
Paulie – has no joy, obsessed with soccer, meanest Danette
Seton – can’t figure out who the winner of a TV is, fights with McLovin like a brother
McLovin – Where do you start? Where do you stop?

Here’s a list of other nominees in Dan’s category:

National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association 

National Sportscaster Nominees 

Al Michaels, NBC

Bob Costas, NBC/MLB Network

Dan Patrick, NBC/"The Dan Patrick Show"

Dan Shulman, ESPN

Brad Nessler, ABC/ESPN/NFL Network

Jim Nantz, CBS

Joe Buck, Fox

Mike Tirico, ESPN/ABC

Mike Emrick, NBC

Kevin Harlan, CBS/TNT

Could any other nominee than Dan win with this support staff?

O Christmas Tree!

Back in the Miford man cave and we find that the Christmas tree is up and the Menorah is lit. 2012 ornaments are starting to come in. Dan and the Danettes did a viewing of the ornaments received so far and Dan has a message for one special audience member: He can’t be bribed, because of it’s questionable content he can’t take it home, and it can’t go up on the tree but he can be entertained. For someone at the Mothership that still knows a good thing when they see/hear it, he did receive your ESPN ornament for the tree. He has no problem with that. Dan loves his ESPN staff audience. Would ESPN have a problem with an ornament from DP’s show up on the ESPN Christmas tree in their lobby? Seton’s current mission is occupy Christmas tree but he needs to do it in a covert manner, so no help from the audience please. He knows you’re enthusiastic helpers, but for this one he needs to go it alone.

His sleepy look is only cover for his trickery

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

You have no balls but the lights are neat.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

You need a hot chick to make you sweet.

Fritzy creeps the girls away, 

Danny Jaw Face hates those days.

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!

It may be only men that touch thee.

Will Chrissy make a return appearance this year?

You can send your 2012 ornament to:

The Dan Patrick Show

P.O. Box 591 

Milford, CT 06460

Ornaments will be eligible win a gift!

Who should be king of the pop-a-shot, time to update Frank's look

Here’s something I’m sure will be heard all across America next Thursday: “Will you listen to me for a change?” No need for turkey and stuffing today.  Dan was trying to get Seton to listen to his advice on how to score big on the pop-a-shot as Dan can’t have Fritzy be the best at something.  Heaven forbid.  The confidence boost to Fritzy’s ego would ruin his booker game.

Should Dan let Fritzy be the king of the pop a shot?

Speaking of Fritzy:  Now that The Dan Patrick Show is part of the NBC family, could someone please spend a few bucks and get Fritzy a new outfit for his Monday Night Football song parodies?  Maybe Amy, who helped Dan with his Jimmy Fallon look, could help Fritzy with his Frank Williams Jr. persona.  I know we’re already half way into the season, but please show the brother a little love. 

Well worn but it's time to update "Frank"'s style

Keep the love coming!  The victims of Sandy appreciate and need all they can get.
American Red Cross:
Website:  www.redcross.org 

Text: To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone:  1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018 
        Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.

Fashion statements, it's only hair and get bugged

New Addition to the Man Cave:
Dan received sports jerseys courtesy of Matt in Seal Beach, CA. They were Mike Bossy - Islanders, Nolan Ryan – Astros, Roger Staubach – Cowboys and Bo Jackson - Raiders. Cool stuff. Display location in the man cave still to be determined but I think the barstools will be getting new back covers today. I will say this, once Dan decides where he wants them to be, if they are moved, even just a little, Dan will notice due to his high level of attention to detail. By the way guys, your mothers and wives don’t come to work with you, clean up your evidence. I mean empties.

Once again, Dan decided to show his more progressive fashion side. Dan and some of the Danettes took a fashion risk and wore colorful pants. I thought the colors were more spring/summer wear than fall/winter. Paulie always The Topper added a striking pair of Wolverine boots, perfect for the snow covered Connecticut ground they had today. Who was not a risk taker? Fritzy, who chose a light khaki color and McLovin, who chose a light gray. McLovin did attempt to spice it up a little by wearing his red socks, but it just wasn’t in the same brotherhood. Personally, I liked the look Dan wore on the Jimmy Fallon show much better.

Fashionitas in training

Fritzy’s mock headlines:
He only went two for ten. There was one that Dan gave an ok, one got a chuckle, and I swore I heard a groan to one as well. Sven in CA, where are you? Maybe he shouldn’t have called in after all: one got crickets, one just an alright and a third a bit of a chuckle.

Possible COTW:AJ McCarren, the Bama QB has, well, a hot mom. Would you want your mom or anyone else in your family to be one of Fritzy’s Cougars of the Week? I feel a creepy sensation coming on. Find out tomorrow how it all shakes out.

AJ's proud mom Dee Dee Bonner

Seton has a problem with bugs
He swore he saw four bugs that no one else had seen. Whether mental or physical, the bugs made him jumpy and itchy. The perfect set up for a little Dan torment. Seton brought in the tiger costume today and thought that might be a source. Face paint is all set up for tomorrow morning. Cutting the hair to look like Whitey Herzog? Looks like that may happen tomorrow or next week and he’s not looking forward to it. What happened to "it’s just hair"?

Paws is looking for a new little buddy!

Is it wrong that Dan is more concerned with Seton and McLovin’s safety when they play ball in the studio more concerned than that of his own kids? Not really. Money makers versus money takers.

McLovin wants more of Dad/Dan’s attention: What’s the best way to do that? Become the opposing viewpoint and keep hammering at that point even when you no longer make sense. McLovin rattled Dan enough that Dan hit a golf ball into the ocean on the golf simulator that just made Dan angrier. What was the topic that did all this? QB ratings.

Dan the lawbreaker: Dan’s truck was hanging over into the handicapped parking spot and was noticed by the people at NBC. Two-A-Days, also in colorful pants today and sporting a fresh hair cut, was sent out to move it as Dan was going back to air.

This could have happened to DP

Side notes:
Still accepting job titles for Two-A-Days for his Vista business cards! Casey, host of The Box Score, was sporting colorful pants today as well.

Set your DVR’s!
Monday 11/12 at 5:30 Directv Audience Network channels, 101, 239, 334 and 500 will be airing DIY Man Caves Nick and Artie. This is the same studio that Dan uses on Monday when he does FNIA the night before but with branding changes and memorabilia placement adjustments for Dan’s show. These are the same people that did the Milford Man Cave and the Mobile Man Cave for Dan. On occasion DIY Man Caves replays the Milford man cave and Mobile man cave episodes.

The marquee DP and NA share in the NY man cave

Tony Siragusa, a native of New Jersey, been helping out with the relief efforts from Hurricane Sandy. Dan’s mood noticeably changed after Tony spoke of his experiences and the needs still out there. To help from anywhere you are:

American Red Cross:
Website: www.redcross.org
Text:
To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone: 1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018
Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.