The Master Going to the Masters

The Master Going to the Masters 

Dan will be going to the Masters in Augusta and this will not be a joint road trip with the Danettes. Sad faces did not change his mind. Dan held strong. Why no Danettes for this one? Fear. Fear that the Danettes will embarrass him at the prestigious golf tournament by shouting "You da man!" or getting caught trying on one of the historic green jackets. If they called out something stupid on the grounds DP would just have to stab them. 

Who will DP see wear the green jacket this year?

Not that Dan would know anything about trying on green jackets. DP made a trip to Augusta once before and took a wrong turn coming out of the bathroom only to find himself in the champions locker room. Open a locker or two and there she is. A green jacket. This one belonging to Jack Nicholas. He has to slip her on to see how she felt. A little tight, but Dan didn’t mind sliding into something tight. It felt good and that’s all that mattered.



 

Fritzy All A-Rousey, Seton Shooting Low, WOP on the Line

WOP On The Line 
We have a little while to wait, but there is a Wheel of Punishment bet on the line with the national title game.  If Indiana or Duke wins the national title, Dan has to take Paulie to dinner and Seton spins the wheel in place of DP.  If neither Indiana nor Duke win the national title, Paulie has to spin the wheel, but DP does not need to take Seton to dinner, even though he probably will since he’s closest to Seton of all the Danettes.  Is Seton adding up points
for 2013 MVD?  You bet he is!

Seton Shooting Low

Seton has been taking shots at the boss lately.  In defending his position, he landed a low blow to the fellow Danettes saying DP already has three yes men, he doesn’t need a fourth.  Once the newness of DP’s surgery wore off, Seton’s been taking advantage of the wounded like a lion attacking a gazelle with a broken leg. 





Fritzy All A-Rousey 

MMA fighter Ronda Rousey, UFC Bantamweight Champion, was booked on the Thursday show and hours before coming on Fritzy was already in creepville.  Her pre-fight preparation and the fact that she could physically dominate him put one Todd Fritz’s mind into fantasyland.  Female to male sports domination became the poll and studio question of the day.  Poll takers were fine with it, as well as Seton – sort of, if it was his wife taking him in soccer yes – otherwise not so sure, Paulie – Jennifer Lawrence much more superior archer, McLovin – Rebecca Lobo in basketball no problems and Fritzy – any woman could beat him in anything and he wouldn’t mind.  Dan, he has issues with a woman being able to beat him.  By the way, Dan doesn’t care to watch women fighting in any form.  It’s just not enjoyable for him.  For Dan, a woman doesn’t have to prove that she is tough.  For anyone who has been through childbirth, you will understand that point of view.  

Competition Through and Through + More

Competitive Through and Through 

Did he smile like this when DP
told him to move his fat ass?

Once a competitor, always a competitor. At least that’s what runs through the blood of one Dan Patrick. In a pick up basketball game with his fellow ESPN sportscasters at the time, DP was characteristic of what Carmello Anthony is today. The mouthy, selfish baller had no love for his co-workers. Even those that were playing on the same side as him. Once again, story time with Dan was entertaining with an assist from Jason Jackson, former ESPNer. Oh the good old days.



80’s Crooner or Nails on a Chalk Board 

Fritzy-stuck in an '80's Rick Astley video

Fritzy’s been taking hits over the last two days about his singing. This includes changing the poll question to ask if he should be allowed to continue to sing on the show. The voters chose to allow him to sing but I have to admit, when Fritzy sings the only songs he can, Rick Astley or Hall and Oates, either I cringe or turn the volume down. It’s not the artists, it’s his interpretation of the artists. Maybe if there were the background music playing to help tone down his voice it wouldn’t be as bad. He needs to grow beyond two artists and three or four songs. Not sure what John Legend and Darius Rucker see in him but God bless him for trying. Not many people I know would have the guts to sing on radio or TV. For those that aren’t this crooner’s fan, cover your ears America. He’s not going away.

The Pendulum Swings the Other Way 

DP's mood - not as soft as the angry chair

Seton and Fritzy took strikes at the boss, his ability to sing and his group dominance. Seton claims Dan can’t sing and Fritzy claims he sings better than DP. Fritzy continued to poke at the bear saying Dan needs to be the center of attention and the funniest guy in the room. Of course Dan felt the opposite on both counts. McLovin swayed both ways. He said Dan was a liar, that Dan would hold negative comments about him against those that made the comment although Dan said he would not for things that were said in the box or on The Box Score. Then McLovin turned the page in the next breath and went back to sucking up to the boss again. Dan has not been in a good way just before and since his shoulder surgery. It’s like he’s always in the angry chair even when he’s not. The Danettes must say prayers each night that the next morning DP will be in a better mood that lasts the entire show. The completion of the rehab and healing process can’t come soon enough. DP is cranky watching the guys shoot hoops and take swings on the golf simulator from the sidelines. Not much fun for DP or the Danettes. Entertaining though for the audience.