OMG it's 1D!, Caller can you save me?, All white guys look the same

He should have been a model
Dan felt is boy Seton was mocking what Dan had said yesterday and this morning about the staff wearing DP gear, especially after no one but Fritzy wore it today, including Dan.  Seton would go to the back room and first came out wearing a long sleeve shirt, then a hat, and then a zippered pull over and finally a short sleeve shirt.

Don't let this smiling face fool you,
he's plotting his next move

All white guys look the same
More info on the Belichick snub came from Rodney Harrison today. It appears that Dan didn’t stand out in the cloud of other white guys. That’s why Bill didn’t shake Dan’s hand. Maybe Bill thought Dan was Brady’s grandfather?

Can you spot DP in this cloud
of old white guys?

OMG it's 1D!
Dan is going to see One Direction!  No, not like when he went to see Britney Spears by himself in LA.  This time he’s taking his daughters as a cover.  Back in LA there was no line for beer, they were actually waiting for a customer.  Now the line for the juice bar and ice cream was a different story.  Expect the same availability at 1D too.  Dan gave us a wonderful display of his dance moves from that night.  Wonder if he’ll get his groove on again tonight.  Hope they tagged the dance portion of today’s show for an upcoming best of.  Dan also brought out his 70’s DJ voice for the occasion. Smooth.  Too bad no cameras will be following him to the concert. 

Heard DP was coming and got their dogs

We love goodies
Someone couldn’t wait to literally rip into a new box of Shari’s Berries.  As it was said, it was as if either a dog or a four-year old at Christmas had opened the box.  Who was the culprit?  No it wasn’t Seton, who usually eats his share and more than that delicacy.  It was Paulie! Guess he’s not as perfect as we thought.

One Danette just couldn't wait 

Blinded by the hair
It was difficult staying focused on the topics today when the camera would show McLovin today.  You couldn’t help but stare at his three-tone hair – dark brown, medium brown and gray.  Maybe he should keep the hat on for a few more weeks.

Possible next look for McLovin? 

Caller can you save me?

Was it a Friday thing or has Dan just lost interest in Against the Grain.  Before McLovin could throw it to Seton for the closing music for the segment Dan decided to take a caller. Guess he was looking for something more interesting.

Caller, you better be good

Arcade Fire Tribute 
The tribute for this week went out today to the family of David Courtney, the announcer for the Angels, Clippers and Kings who died at the age of 56. No cause was given by the Kings, but Courtney had tweeted the day before he died that he was at a hospital awaiting an angiogram.

David celebrating his passion

Dissed! Lost Not Found, Eeww That Smell! Did That Mean Me?

The Whiff
When I say whiff, I don’t mean swing and miss, I mean eeww!  McLovin has come to work 4 days in a row now without showering. His excuse?  The baby has the croup.  That’s a new one.  Dan made the offer to him on Tuesday to use the shower in his bathroom in the Milford man cave.  McLovin didn’t take him up on it for fear of being filmed.  What’s the big deal?  You willingly took a shower in 2011 on camera and had no problems then.  Dan offered the use of his shower again today, just bring your own towel. Seton keeps a towel at the man cave if he needs to use the shower there. It’s more than time that McLovin do the same.

Wash away the smell, wash away the paint

Did that mean me?
Seton sent out a memo to everyone reminding them that in the coming weeks they needed to wear DP gear to support holiday merchandise sales.  So who acted on the memo?  Just the boss.  Dan gets a gold star. The rest get sent to the corner.

If the cap fits, wear it.
Oh yeah, they forgot to wear that too. 

Dissed
Not only did Dan have problems with his earpiece Sunday night, he had a problem with one of the head coaches, Bill Belichick. After Belichick came onto the field, he stopped and shook Tony Dungy and Rodney Harrison’s hands then turned and walked away not shaking Dan’s hand. Was this a message to Dan about the comments he has made about Bill’s post game pressers or did he have tunnel vision?

Dan? I don't see Dan

Bravo Fritzy!
After lots of luke warm hits and many more than that misses, Fritzy had a hot run of mock headlines today on Ndamukong Suh’s kick to the groin of Matt Shaub.  Figures doesn’t it that he didn’t hit gold until a subject game up that involved genitalia.

Up and to the right, it's good!

Objects not where they should be -
Part one: Seton forgot to bring his maid to work with him today and Dan found his dirty bowl and spoon left on the bar counter.  Dan was not pleased.  How many MVD points were subtracted with this offense? We will see.

Part two: Oh where, oh where did the yellow football go?  Was it hidden because someone didn’t play with it like the others did and they were jealous?  Did someone take it home and forget to bring it back?  Did someone take it home to give it as a gift?  Is it hidden where it would be difficult to find in order to get back at a friendly foe? Did it get tossed in the dumpster outside? Stayed tuned, there should be more drama to follow with this story.

Who did what to this
favored item?

"DP Shut the Hell Up", How much is that doggie in the window

It’s always a bad hair day for McLovin
Today was McLovin’s hair reveal.  It wasn’t that big of a reveal and then the baseball cap went back on with McLovin not only complaining about the quality of his hair paint but the shortness of his hair as well.  Why cut and paint your hair and then not want to show it for six weeks?  Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the process?  This has happened twice now in four months.  McLovin's wife is tired of him talking about his hair and thinks he’s become self-centered.  McLovin, listen to your wife, she’s right.

It could be worse McLovin,
your hair could look like this

How much fun do you have at someone else’s expense on national TV?
A portion of Cris Collinsworth appearance was spent defending and clarifying what he said during Sunday night’s game.  Was Collinsworth out of line with his comments during the Jet’s minuteman display of the Keystone Kops?  If you execute that badly three plays in a row in less than one minute of play, what do you expect?  Stop being so sensitive and pull up your big boy pants.  Cris is being paid by NBC for his opinions, not to hold the hands of a floundering team and say that’s ok, everything will be alright, hand them a lollipop and send them on their merry way.

Now I'll go left, wait you go left, then I'll go back
and you go back then right, right?

Even a Marconi winner can have a bad set
For about six seconds during the halftime show Sunday, Dan didn’t realize he was on air.  His earpiece that sends him communication from the production booth stopped working and he didn’t realize it. Bob Costas had thrown the telecast to Dan and he just sat there enjoying what was happening around him.  Tony was looking panicked at Dan and a production person was waving their hand at the camera before Dan was able to figure out what was going on. Whoopsie!

Wow the lights look pretty at night

“DP, shut the hell up.”  
DP challenged Shaq to a free throw contest during Shaq's interview.  At stake: one of the cars Shaq sells to one of the Ram trucks Dan promotes.  How’s your show Shaq?  The answer to that question is that Shaq wouldn’t commit to the bet.  Time to buy a dog.

Don't be fooled,  all show - no go

How much is that doggie in the window?
How worried was McLovin about Jim Parson’s appearance?  Worried enough that he was begging and pleading during his box appearance for Parsons to please pick another Danette to be replaced when he visits other than him. He’s had problems with the poll question, his wife is down on him, just nothing is going right.  He asked Parsons to throw him a bone Must be he's thinking of getting a dog because he too, needs to buy a dog.

See my pretty white teeth?

Side note:
If you are considering pet ownership – Don’t shop adopt.  There are millions of wonderful homeless pets waiting for forever homes in shelters and rescues across the country just waiting for a loving, committed home.  A good resource for available pets for adoption through rescues and shelters is Petfinder.com where not only dogs and cats in your area are listed, but other species as well.

Visit www.Petfinder.com today!

Finally the time had come
Jim Parsons calls in during the final hour and after he compliments the back row they both take a big sigh of relief that neither of them are in danger if Parsons comes to the man cave.  Who does Jim think he could substitute for?  Two-a-Days! Two invites were given to Parsons: If you’re ever in NY on a Monday he can come to the NYC man cave.  They other is if his Texans make it to the Super Bowl he can come on set while the boys are there covering the week's activities.  What was he most excited about?  “OMG Swag!” that is coming his way. Such a lovable nerd.

Watch out Two-a-Days! Parsons is coming!

What we learned today
That the voting for the 2012 MVD (Most Valuable Danette) may have already closed and this year’s winner has already been decided.  Let the squirming in the Herman Miller mesh swivel chairs begin.

Whose butt sits in the
2012 MVD chair?

High manipulation, celebrity burns and itches

Jim Parsons has an itch and it’s bad
While appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jim Parsons, Emmy winner who plays Sheldon on CBS’s Big Bang Theory, spoke of his desire to join the show as an unpaid summer intern. He didn’t think he would be a big contributor but would love to be part of the Danettes, naming each of them as he continued to speak of his yearning. Could he replace McLovin?  Fritzy wouldn’t mind having him in the back row.  DP thought he could give the poll question results just as good as McLovin but McLovin wondered if he would be able to lie about the results the way he can.  As Jim said, he loves the show and thought for a long time how he would like to be a part of his favorite group of people in the world. He could learn about sports and make new friends.  The boys could always use another friend, especially a celebrity friend. Jay reminded him that Dan’s part of NBC now and Jay could give Dan a call. Parsons seemed giddy when he responded to the news: “Is he? Please try!”  For the betterment of the show McLovin would not take the summer off to make room for Jim to intern.  If Dan tried, he would be kicking and screaming as he was shoved out the door. Parsons can’t take over for Two-a-Days as he should be displayed on camera. In the box McLovin claimed he could do what any of the Danettes or Casey does but couldn’t answer the phones for Two-a-Days as he can get confused. (That explains a lot.)  The only other person he admitted he couldn’t replace was DP.  After trying to take The Box Score to break, he proved he couldn’t take over for Casey either.  Dan reminded McLovin that he put himself in the position to be expendable. OUCH!

Longing for a man cave invite

I like a non-sports poll question 
I’ve said it before and I like what I said.  I like a non-sports poll question that gets you to react.  Today we had two: Where would you rather get hit in a cheap shot – head, knees, junk? That was Paulie’s contribution.  The other came from Seton: Which is a better nickname Johnny Baseball or Johnny Football?  Personal preference is the first question It made me chuckle and visualize.  Dan was not so hot on either.  After Dan’s criticism McLovin quickly jumped ship and threw the blame at the originators but had Dan liked one of them he would have taken the credit. McLovin thinks this is a team when he’s looking for support but it’s all about him when things are going his way.  The clock is ticking McLovin, you need to get creative dude because the Locker Room and other audience members are licking their chops for their opportunity to take over the poll. Really, how much longer will DP let him twist in the wind before he cuts the cord on the poll.

Hit groin, hit ground, roll around in pain

Don’t stand so close to me!
Personal boundary lines were being crossed today as McLovin came up to speak to Seton as he was adjusting his waistband and belt at what was Seton’s face level.  Awkward!  Send in the Police!

Does my mid-section near your head make you nervous?

Touch down Jesus in the Notre Dame helmet?
Is there an image of Jesus in last week’s SI cover?  You can’t tell by the website but it’s evident in the enlarged cover poster sent to and on display in the man cave.  Divine intervention for this heavenly season?

Dear Touch Down Jesus, just one more win

To ESPY or not to ESPY, that is the question
A much unexpected invite came from the people who are doing the ESPY’s for Dan to attend.  In what capacity we’re not sure.  What we are sure of is that the invite didn’t come from ESPN management.
Dan was told he’d be treated like a king.  Definitely not words that would come from the mouth of Mothership management. Dan said he didn’t need to go, he’s been there and done that before and not all of it was good.  Dan’s left his mark, done his damage.  But what if he was given the opportunity to present with Hannah Storm.  Now that would be a smoke show.

Could this woman change
Dan's mind about the ESPY's?

Seton gets burned by a celebrity
Chris O’Donnell, most recently of NCIS LA fame, offered a stat of the day to Seton for the show.  Seton ran with it.  The only problem was that the stat was a stat that was used on many other shows the day before.  Had Seton only shared what he planned to do during the morning meeting he could have been spared the embarrassment.  Instead he chose to go with the – dude I’m good approach.  Lesson learned. Was the burn intentional? Is Chris O’Donnell an ESPN operative?

Seton's friend or foe?

Is Dan a selfish lover the way he’s a selfish baller?   
Can he take you all day on the court?  Can he make it all night long?  The answer is nope to both. But he can give you ten minutes of electrifying offense.  Hope he’s a quality scorer in both of those ten minutes. DP, say it isn’t so, that you’re on your way to Viagraville.

T minus 3 to launch of ______

What’s your definition of high manipulation?
Sven in CA called in with five phrases that Jon Gruden said during the Monday Night Football game that made no sense to him.  One of those phrases was High Manipulation.  Fritzy had his own definition that everyone anticipated. Oh pervy Fritzy, I shake my head.

The music beats to only his drum

Sometimes an Ivy League education just isn't enough
There has been more than one occasion that McLovin has spoken a word in a way that almost no one else would pronounce it.  Today was one of those occasions.  The phrase was: double-edged sword.  The word he could not pronounce was sword.  McLovin pronounces the w instead of making it silent.  It was so funny that Dan gagged on his Starbucks yogurt.  This just led to more of what McLovin called Danette on Danette crime when then room filled with laughter.  Between this and all the Jim Parson comments from Dan and the pre-reveal teasing by the other Danettes about the painted hair and not taking a shower for two days in a row was too much for him to handle. There was a short who’s been picked on more lately back and forth between the back row. The front row was described as hard working, lunch pail kind of guys where those words would not be used for the back row. McLovin complained about cliques in the man cave and Dan offered to get together again to talk about this – maybe.  Oh, Dan must be so tired sometimes when he leaves the studio.

Maybe this speaking module can help McLovin

Lupus steals a young life, NFL coach yard sale

The show came to you from the NYC vacation man cave - 

If you’re a former NFL head coach do you hold a yard sale?
Tony dungy doesn’t wear any of his Buccaneers or Colts gear or either of his Super Bowl rings.  Now I can understand not wearing the rings.  They’re big, they’re expensive and not something you’d want on your hand if you were washing the car.  But what about the clothing?  Ok, so you’re an analyst and you want to be objective.  I’m not saying wear it during interviews or while on air but you could still wear it while you’re cleaning your gutters, taking out the trash, lounging around watching pro-bowling or sleeping if you don’t go bare.  At some point his wife is going to say that stuff is taking up too much space in the closet or basement and it’s going to have to go.  Tony, whatever you don’t give to charity to auction off you can send my way.  Thanks – me

I'd look good in this sweet sweater vest

Does Fritzy have a ghostwriter?
Fritzy’s MNF song was good, really good, maybe too good.  Did he get help from his professional writing brother?  When confronted by Dan, he couldn’t produce the script. It was on his brother’s computer.  Hmmm  His brother’s computer.  His brother that lives and works in California and writes for a living computer.  We heard a letter from the brother saying he in no way had anything to do with the MNF song.  Things just aren’t fitting together.  Great MNF song, on brother’s computer, not Fritzy’s…something’s fishy in the aquarium.  Too bad his brother didn’t help Fritzy with today’s mock headlines.

Did an ugly truth about a MNF song come out?

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about USC” Drama
Jim Mora Jr. is still a big thing.  Why is he still a big thing?  Because he’s making a stink over words that came out of his mouth on DP’s show.  Jim you said it.  It was not taken out of context. It was not edited. Go to The Dan Patrick Show website. The full interview is posted for your listening pleasure. After you sit quietly in a dark room and listen to the words coming out of your mouth, take your lumps, don’t be a high school girl - put on your big boy pants, call DP and give him an apology for bad mouthing a Marconi winner. Oh, well.  So Jim won’t be back on the show by his choice.  His loss, not ours.

I.Did.Not.Say.Rat's.Ass Grrrr

McLovin Jealousy and Hair Paint

Who spent time with Dan during the Thanksgiving weekend?  Not McLovin.  Dan and his son and Seton and his son all got together during the long weekend and did what multi-generational males do. Whatever it was, it was the highlight of Dan’s weekend.   Once again there were no pictures. Just like a previous Thanksgiving Dan/Seton get together there was no photographic evidence.  A little odd since Seton is one of the shows Twitter kings. In a move to shift the attention back to him, McLovin will have a painted hair reveal on Wednesday.  The blogger, who truly wants to be a talking hair do, thought his hair paint over the weekend didn’t go so well, had Dan look at it in private and got a two day hat permit.

Mani's, spray tans, paint -
so high maintenance

Fritzy’s Sharp Left Pervy Turn
In some crazy attempt to become relevant in the conversation about McLovin’s hair paint and how the camera shows your flaws - Fritzy contributed:  “TV adds a few inches”, “I’ve had some alone time in the back”, “Sometimes I hang out with the cleaning lady and we play cards”, “That (the groan from the back) was from the person who deals cards when we play strip poker”.  What goes through this man’s head while the show is in progress is amazing sometimes.

Not my idea of a great
strip poker view

Condolences 
To the Kevin McHale family in the loss of Kevin’s daughter, Alexandra “Sasha” McHale, who passed away Saturday at the age of 23 of complications from Lupus.  Kevin is the head coach of the Houston Rockets.  

To learn more about Lupus, please visit www.lupus.org