Dissed! Lost Not Found, Eeww That Smell! Did That Mean Me?

The Whiff
When I say whiff, I don’t mean swing and miss, I mean eeww!  McLovin has come to work 4 days in a row now without showering. His excuse?  The baby has the croup.  That’s a new one.  Dan made the offer to him on Tuesday to use the shower in his bathroom in the Milford man cave.  McLovin didn’t take him up on it for fear of being filmed.  What’s the big deal?  You willingly took a shower in 2011 on camera and had no problems then.  Dan offered the use of his shower again today, just bring your own towel. Seton keeps a towel at the man cave if he needs to use the shower there. It’s more than time that McLovin do the same.

Wash away the smell, wash away the paint

Did that mean me?
Seton sent out a memo to everyone reminding them that in the coming weeks they needed to wear DP gear to support holiday merchandise sales.  So who acted on the memo?  Just the boss.  Dan gets a gold star. The rest get sent to the corner.

If the cap fits, wear it.
Oh yeah, they forgot to wear that too. 

Dissed
Not only did Dan have problems with his earpiece Sunday night, he had a problem with one of the head coaches, Bill Belichick. After Belichick came onto the field, he stopped and shook Tony Dungy and Rodney Harrison’s hands then turned and walked away not shaking Dan’s hand. Was this a message to Dan about the comments he has made about Bill’s post game pressers or did he have tunnel vision?

Dan? I don't see Dan

Bravo Fritzy!
After lots of luke warm hits and many more than that misses, Fritzy had a hot run of mock headlines today on Ndamukong Suh’s kick to the groin of Matt Shaub.  Figures doesn’t it that he didn’t hit gold until a subject game up that involved genitalia.

Up and to the right, it's good!

Objects not where they should be -
Part one: Seton forgot to bring his maid to work with him today and Dan found his dirty bowl and spoon left on the bar counter.  Dan was not pleased.  How many MVD points were subtracted with this offense? We will see.

Part two: Oh where, oh where did the yellow football go?  Was it hidden because someone didn’t play with it like the others did and they were jealous?  Did someone take it home and forget to bring it back?  Did someone take it home to give it as a gift?  Is it hidden where it would be difficult to find in order to get back at a friendly foe? Did it get tossed in the dumpster outside? Stayed tuned, there should be more drama to follow with this story.

Who did what to this
favored item?

It's all Letterman's fault

Hey y’all – Today I was grateful for the auto reply of the show in its entirety. In the studio I realized that the two pumpkins aren’t really pumpkins, but lighted ornamentation. They had me fooled for awhile but my smart gene kicked in long enough to notice.

Dan talked a little about the arrangements he wanted with Directv before going to air on television. No make up, no stiff dress code, no stuffy still life, sitting in one place with one, maybe two camera angles. He wanted to show movement, to look in behind the scenes. Much of that is accomplished with the nine remote cameras in addition to the cameraman, plus not having red lights appear when the cameras are on. This set up puts them at ease not knowing what DTV chooses to air when. It’s said that imitation is a form of flattery, but when do the imitators stop and find their own way? You know who I’m talking to, Doug Gottlieb. So, what caught your eye or ear today?

No pants, no problem

 
From the pre-show run down: There’s two things I’ve always, and I repeat myself, always liked about McLovin. When he dresses like Ellen (Degeneres) and when he dances like her. Cracks me up every time. Whether you take it from just the outward appearance or the deeper- a man dressing and dancing like a woman who dresses like a man. It’s funny either way. Add to that Dan doing the Jay Leno high five entrance and a completely dressed, semi lap dance that McLovin gave to Paulie causing Paulie to become so uncomfortable he was taking nervous sips of water, it was killer. This had to be by far, one of the funniest pre-show run downs I can remember. I’m sure there are others, but this one has to be in the top five.

McLovin in "Ellen" mode

In the video open we explored the many facets of Dan for possibilities on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. The montage of past Dan "looks" and descriptions – athlete, lover, fighter, coach, singer, dancer, thespian and more was so well put together. Thank you Directv/Dan Patrick production crew for such an awesome piece. My smile continued.

Oh no!  Loose ball

During the audio open we heard a montage of Dan’s wit bestowed upon the Danettes at their expense.

Dan is still concerned about his appearance tonight on Fallon. He repeated the story of Josh Charles not introducing him to Juliannne Margulies at Josh’s birthday party because Dan couldn’t say her name right. "You need to figure it out" was all Josh left Dan with for advice. Josh is truly a bad wingman. Dan isn’t concerned about doing a guest activity any longer because that is something that the A list guest do and Dan is the B list guest. At Letterman they have the A list and B list celebrities on different floors and in different green rooms. We’ll get back to where that story went from there in a minute. The segment producer that called yesterday was a big let down as Dan wanted to have a light hearted appearance on the show and not what the producer was steering towards - what’s up in the NFL, World Series and Lance Armstrong. He was really hoping not to hit heavy topics and do something other than sports.

I'm waiting for you Dan!

Sven from CA called in Mock headlines – not his best performance. Three up, three down. Maybe he should take tomorrow off and refresh over the weekend. There was a back row (Fritzy) versus front row (Paulie and Seton) mock headline show down today. At risk, having to run laps across the street if you lost. McLovin got to choose the winner and who got the jog of shame. This became a two-lap penalty for Fritzy who lost thanks to Seton’s rendition of Toto’s Rozanna, which received genuine laughs and clapping from the boss. Because Fritzy didn’t listen to Dan and continued to give bad Fallon show ideas what would normally be one lap became two. While he was jogging Fritzy kept wondering if he would get back in time before Brian Billick called in. Paulie admitted it’s not easy to run material for longer than his customary five seconds at a time. Headlines require more content and stamina. Hear that Fritzy? You have more stamina than Paulie in something. Run with it! Ahhh, make that jog with it. There was more to Fritzy doing the laps than just the competition. Today was such a mess. Keep reading.

Run Fritzy Run!

So, remember when I told you I’d get back to Letterman?
It all started out so simple as a molehill and then it quickly became a mountain. Sound familiar? What started off in the show as a "remember when" moment took over much of the look ins, the box appearances and The Box score show. There was a slightly embarrassing situation when Dan brought the gang to his last appearance on the Letterman show. After they had gotten to the studio and were in the green room Fritzy left to use the restroom at the end of the hall, next to the room where Lyle Lovett and his band were waiting to go on. Needless to say the Letterman show doesn’t put any form of air freshener in their bathrooms and Paulie took a picture of Fritzy coming out of the bathroom. The picture wasn’t bad at all. If you were not told what the picture was, you would think it was just a picture of Fritzy coming out of any room. Jokes were made regarding the band filling the hallway with the aroma of refer to rid the smell, that Lyle wasn’t Lovin’ It, Lyle Lovett’s hair being extra high that night, and so on. Seton began to loose it when Dan made the refer comment and his laughter escalated from there. Keep in mind now that Fritzy is just recently back from a second lengthy hospital stay for digestive problems. This touched a small nerve with Fritzy but he took it all in stride and carried on. I truly didn’t make a connection in the joke between the incident at Letterman and the recent hospital stay and it was evident that no one else did either while the barbs were flying. Fritzy probably did because it happened to him. Kudos to Fritzy for recognizing it was all in good fun and the value of a good bit. Fritzy’s wife, Jen, had been watching, became upset and contacted Fritzy. I felt for her and can understand her point of view. McLovin knew Jen had contacted Fritzy and while he was out doing his laps, McLovin told everyone on air what Jen had done. Oh, McLovin. He did it out of concern for his back row buddy but he should have done it during an off camera opportunity. If McLovin really wanted to look out for his back row buddy he would have chosen Fritzy as the winner because we know McLovin and Seton haven’t gotten along well in the past. Dan follows up with Fritzy when he returns asking if he’s ok and Fritzy mistakes that for how he’s feeling physically just having jogged two laps when Dan actually meant on the personal front. Seton was feeling uncomfortable and awkward and was becoming confused on what he thought was the personal line not to cross and what happened today. After all, smelly jokes have always been funny on the show and no one was trying to be mean spirited. McLovin was feeling guilty knowing that he added fuel to the fire, had admitted it, and felt it was his fault and offered to do laps or something. Dan was upset with McLovin and called him a buzz kill. McLovin’s response was to not go into the box as he was scheduled to do, so Dan made a rare box appearance instead upset with McLovin and that this was just another example of McLovin trying to insert himself into the show. Something you’ll learn is that McLovin will insult others or a situation to cover for his own insecurities, which he has freely admitted before. McLovin also insulted Fritzy during The Box Score show criticizing the Bronco’s hat Fritzy was wearing. While Dan was still in the box gathering his thoughts, McLovin decided to sit in Dan’s chair. This is something that is taboo unless you’re a guest host. McLovin’s reasoning was – well he’s in my seat, I’ll sit in his. Come on! What are we six? Then to top that he said that Dan was taking his guilt over bringing up the story about Fritzy out on him. Why didn’t McLovin take Fritzy’s laps for him if he was feeling bad? There’s an unwritten rule: You do the crime, you do the time. Fritzy was paying off the bad Fallon show ideas and the just above average mock headlines bet. Seton spoke on the day’s developments in his box appearance also. Yes, Fritzy has serious issues, they would never make fun of those or embarrass him intentionally about that, and even being the meanest Danette he wouldn’t do that. Seton then began mumbling in his own awkward shyness way with embarrassment. As you now see, this was a soap opera day, man cave style. Even now, I just shake my head.

Additional show nuggets: They need a job title for Two-a-Days for his Vista Print business cards. I should also say that Two-a-Days did a lap today as well because he thought Sven’s mock headlines were good. We were shown the picture again of the viewer that named their baby Seton and sent in a photo with the baby wearing a Dan Patrick onesie.

Dan "Two-A-Days" Overlock

 
It’s not just your regular sport show: Gossip time! Eva Longoria broke up with Mark Sanchez because he’s always in a bad mood because the Jets are always loosing. Awww Mark! Maybe Tebow should have been starting!

So, what did you learn today?