Laugh Golden Boy Laugh, TLI and More

Dan Does It All

Just another day at
The Dan Patrick Show

Today was what Fritzy usually calls a hodge podge show. We had Peter King talking football and Chi McBride doing celebrity imitations that made Seton laugh so hard he started coughing. There was Cris Collingsworth on about his son playing for the national title Monday for Notre Dame. Swimsuit model, Chrissy Teigen sort of interning by saying "Word" several times during ATG and cutting down McLovin’s stache. Throw in an unexpected guest that Two-a-Days initially wouldn’t let on the air, Steve Spurrier, the Phil Jackson wedding announcement and a review of Rex Ryan’s tattoo. Less I forget choosing between bellies, bruises and staches, an award announcement and well, it’s been quite a day. Let’s see, what were some of the things we were missing? Death and birth notices, a cooking segment, the latest fashion, a music act, reality drama, pets, decorating tips and children. Those were just missing today. Tune in any other day and you will get those things plus more too.

     Guests Bearing Gifts 

Feel free to accessorize the
DP DND sign

Dan is ready for a bit of quality time. A premo cigar from Chi McBride, a calendar and bottle of whiskey from Chrissy Teigen. Dim the lights and put out the do not disturb sign.











Laugh Golden Boy, Laugh

The golden locks of DP

McBride can tell a story, and Dan and the Danettes ate them up. In return Chi loves it when Dan laughs. Too bad Dan wasn’t laughing at the title of the show Chi is on - Golden Boy. Bad memories of this college basket ball coach saying things like "Run the steps golden boy" returned and the nickname wasn’t said in Dan’s favor, but because the coach disliked him and let him know every practice and every game.  Who's laughing now coach?





 TLI (Too Little Information)

Don't be holdin', share!

Dan and the Danettes finally return from vacation, have as McLovin said, "the greatest boys night out ever" liking it to The Hang Over and Animal House. What do we get, one story about Fritzy’s daughter stalking Dan, McLovin not coming to the party and hearing that McLovin’s stache has it’s own vibe for females. Usually after Christmas break or a boys big night out we are treated to a plethera of stories that make us either laugh, shake our heads or both. What the stories do is help connect, as in attach, us to the show and all involved. Is the group becoming a bunch of fuddy duddies or have they stepped things up so much that mum has to be the word to save reputations. Come on man! There has to be something more.    

Quote of the Day (Maybe Longer)

All those days on the road pay off again

No matter who you are or what you do, or don’t do, the following rings true. From Peter King while appearing on today’s Dan Patrick Show: "This time of year, crap happens." What time of year does crap not happen, cuz I’d like to fast forward to that.

Congratulations Dan and Peter! The I Team broke news before Dan did, that Dan has broke his Susan Lucci-esk 12 year drought and has been named the NSSA 2012 Sportscaster of the Year. Also taking honors is Peter King who was named the NSSA 2012 Sportswriter of the Year. Dan, of course, thanked the Danettes for their contributions as he felt without them he would not have received the award. Think Bill Murray was wrong when he said Dan needed to get better help? Murray became annoyed at Seton when he wouldn’t let him on the air with just an intro over the phone of: "It’s Bill, I want to talk to Dan." You may be big Mr. Murray but you’re not the only Bill who can dial a phone. Seton wasn’t going to let another Steve Bartman/Captain Janks/Howard Stern situation happen again like it did at ESPN. A road trip will be coming in June to North Carolina for Dan and the guys for the awards ceremony and celebration.

Bill, take your own advice!

 

Award Winning Performance? It's the Pain It's the Drugs It's... + More

Know Your Show

If you’re going to call in to the show, know what sports seasons are active, know the audience and know that this show doesn’t "break down" teams, players, games, fans or announcers. Learn a new language to get that response or result from DP and for Pete’s sake, be current. JT in CA, I know it was early in the morning on your side of the land but you had to have had an inkling that your call was going to be served didn’t you? Twins talk. Really? Where were you in May, June, July, August, yada, yada, yada? Come back again in the spring!

If it's spring, shouldn't the snow be gone in MN?

More Like U-Haul 

Boxy, slow U-Haul

Could it be that Dan has more speed than a former running back? Apparently so. Dan versus Jerome "The Bus" Bettis in a 50 yard dash. Dan with a 10 yard advantage finished with more than a 10 yard lead. Witnesses to the event were Rodney Harrison and Tony Dungy when they were all together doing NBC FNIA. Tony called it and Tony doesn’t lie.








Award Winning Performance? 

Ahh Dude, I'm headin' this way

McLovin may have set himself up for another Awful Announcing award this year for an ATG segment. Mini helmets move over for the wheel. Wheel of coaches that is. Physically, the wheel looked impressive and had great sound effects, but it also tripped McLovin up. His hodge podge wedge of coaching assistants - he only knew three of the five coaches. Another wedge – "This guy from the Niners!" also an assistant coach. He had Chip Kelly, from Oregon, going to two different teams. On another wedge - "This guy from Tampa Bay!" There was also one prospect he didn’t put on the wheel at all until the end of the segment when he just taped a full sheet on the bottom of the wheel. Dan hid his face in his hands in laughter until he had to wipe away the tears. Seton’s infectious laugh and all the craziness actually spread over to Paulie, who for just a little while had joy during the show. Fritzy seemed not to be able to follow along well. Must have been the meds. In the end, as it seems with all the ATG segments, Dan came away knowing less than before the segment started. Dan had asked before the show if McLovin wanted to run through the piece before air but McLovin decided to stay undercover and do it on his own. Aren’t we all glad he did?

It’s the Pain, It’s the Drugs, It’s… 

Hey Fritzy!  I made this
in 96 seconds!

Fritzy might have well blamed his mock headlines on the fact it was Thursday for as bad as they were today. 96 minutes of work for 90 seconds of silence from the peanut gallery. Dan’s words: "Like a chef taking 90 minutes to make toast." Today Fritzy made toast. He thought it was because he didn’t go pervy and needed to return to the inappropriate side. No, just go to the funny side.







Set Your DVRs ! 

Presumably this is not what Chrissy
will not be wearing Friday in studio

In the NYC studio, guests tomorrow will be: Peter King of NBC Sports, Actor Chi McBride and swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen. Who won’t be there? Our pervy little buddy. Fritzy’s timing continues to be on par.










                                                                                     Hot Water with the Mrs.

McLovin is following me again!

 This could really only be one of two Danettes. Today it was McLovin. He and his wife were looking on line for something for the kids. They ran across a headline about what professional athlete is Erin Andrews, of Fox Sports, dating. Of course McLovin had to click on it and didn’t take the smooth way of explaining his curiosity by saying something like: I’m just curious, she’s been on the show, she worked with Dan, or that Chrissy Teigan, who was in the shot with John Legend and the hockey player McLovin didn’t know who is seeing Erin, is coming on the show on Friday. Instead he told his wife she was super famous and his wife wanted to know if he had a crush on her, which he never admitted he did. On air he did say he was a little disappointed that Erin decided to date a pro-athlete and not a nerdy geek. Let’s face it, the US Weekly part of Dan’s personality would have clicked on the link too.

Not So Famous 

Conditional ticket giver

Dan had tickets to the Knicks/Spurs Thursday game. Good seats, not floor seats, but good seats. He was going to give them to Paulie and Seton until Paulie learned that the seats were good for Dan and a guest only otherwise there were no seats. We’ll have to see tomorrow if anyone actually went to the game and if there were any stories to accompany. Dan did joke if the game was going to be on ESPN he could hold up a sign saying Sports Center next or whatever happened to Dan Patrick? All too funny. Who would Dan choose if any of the Danettes were able to go? Wingman McLovin to help coax the famous female fans in their direction.

Programming Note From:

Look Out!
Here the Danettes Come!

NBC Sports Network‏@NBCSN
Starting Jan 7 The Dan Patrick Show's Daily Wrap-Up Program "The Box Score" will begin airing weekdays at Noon ET




　

1984 Ounces = 3 Hours of Drinking, Children Should Be Seen Not Heard & More

Welcome Back Everyone!

Hope everyone had the holiday experience they wanted. 
If not, there’s always next year.
One of the best things is Dan and the boys are back!





Back to Work for R&R 

From left to right:  Dan, Crooked, Blinkie, 70's and Hunchy

Dan and the boys are back and the vacation stories are just beginning to come out. We’ll start with the physical condition of the Danettes. Paulie came back with a cut, swollen lower right eye. Origin undisclosed. Seton returned with a bruised, gnarly hip. Wearing wool socks on a wood floor when you’ve been in your cups is not a good combination. Fritzy had his hernia surgery and is wearing a corset. He chose to share his post surgery pics with Dan, bruises, incision and all. McLovin’s personal appearance was changed with mid-growth of a stache. The stache now has it’s own twitter account: @mclovinstache Only @CaseyGeraghty , host of The Box Score @TheBoxScoreShowShow, has complimented the facial addition. Is this an attempt to recreate his look from That’s My Boy?

Weird Way of Showing Thanks

Required reading for the next party

Your boss is throwing his annual Christmas party. The parties have been known for great food and interesting events. One, you think you would show up unless you were contagious and didn’t want to get others sick. Two, that any family members you brought would keep a lid on their feelings for your boss while in his presence. Neither of the above rules was followed.





Oh Where, Oh Where Was McLovin? 

Workin' on that 70's cop with coffee cup look

Not at the party. He sent Dan a lengthy text that in a nutshell said, he hated his life, and why did he decide to have two kids even though he loves his family. Maybe the stache was starting to come in and he didn’t want anyone to know was the real excuse?



Children Should Be Seen, Not Heard 

De Niro with flash cards for 7 year old girls

All of the Danettes have children. Not all of the Danettes tell their children what goes on at work. There is one that obviously does. The scene: You’re hosting your annual Christmas party and things are going about as expected. Then the unexpected happens. You have a run in with one of the kids that your staff member brought to the party. Awkward. The child says, "I’m watching you." Using De Niro’s mannerisms and expressions from Meet the Parents. "You’re mean to my dad. You say mean things to him." Then each time you speak to the kid’s dad, the kid is right there watching and listening. Giving you the big stare down. This seven year old started out the night this way and wouldn’t stand down, even after dad told the child they should apologize. Who would let their kids hear about what was said and done at work that would make the child feel this way? Who would seem fake in their reaction of surprise when their child did this to their boss? The Danette: Fritzy The Child: His daughter. It took Dan off his game for a bit but he recovered. Will this change the way Dan treats Fritzy? Heck no! Dan does admire how she stood up to him and had her dad’s back though.

Dan Reviews This Is 40

Scene from the movie or a peek at a night of
 McLovin's role play?

Some things are better left alone or short. This is one of those things. If you’re going to make a comedy that’s more than 90 minutes, it better have characters you can root for and feel good about and it needs to be down right funny. Not just funny ha ha bits once in a great while, but hold your attention all the way through the movie funny. Sadly, Dan reports that This Is 40 doesn’t fill the criteria to be a good comedic movie. Dan likes the actors but just didn’t like the movie. Maybe he should have just stuck to the reorganization of the Milford man cave instead.


1984 Ounces = 3 Hours of Drinking

Consume it all on your own
you'll be calling your own audible

That should say quality drinking. Dan had a keg of the soon to be released beer from Red Hook representing The Dan Patrick Show at the Christmas party. The official name: Audible Ale. It should be available in a couple of weeks with its promo debut around Super Bowl time. For now, it passed the Christmas party test at Dan's with rave reviews during its short time of three hours before the keg was dry.