Love You! Whatever...., Bracketology, Bittersweet Acknowledgement and More

Less College Basketball, More Danette Drama 

Soon it will all be over

Ok, ok, so the blog has been a little inactive lately. Let’s face it, there hasn’t been a lot of non-sports related story lines lately on the Dan Patrick Show thanks to March Madness and the coaching carousel. Now that April is here, certainly the drama will return in full force, we hope. For what non-sports has occurred lately:





Love You! Whatever… 

Time to move on from Love You?

There has been a small love-fest that began with Seth Davis from SI/CBS that has had a little bit of carry over to other guests and callers while the blog has been down. The problem hasn’t been that Seth started it, it has been that Dan became too comfortable after awhile with it and was replying back too quickly or initiating the salutation himself. Time to find something else.

Job not in Jeopardy

What is, won't be hosting this show.

Don’t worry Alex Trebek, DP isn’t coming for your job. Can’t say that about the rest of the rumored replacements, but it won’t be Dan. One: There is no way that any of the Danettes can fill in for Dan if he needs to be away to tape the show based on their skill levels and ego tussles amongst the group. Two: It’s too difficult to show a sense of humor or highlight your personality in that format. You can’t keep a good man down! So good luck Jeopardy producers, you can remove one more name from the hot list.

Bittersweet Acknowledgement 

Costas expected to take
the Emmy again this
year for Olympic coverage

Dan has once again, and rightfully so, been nominated for a sports Emmy in the category of best studio host. The show as a whole was not recognized. How can you have one without the other? The percentage of contribution Dan provides the show is greater than the contributions of the rest but could those contributions have been so inferior that the voting committee passed the show by? Really people, put it together: One host plus four Danettes equals one show Emmy nomination. How hard was that math?!?

Bracketology 

Can't get enough of DP in
his Grown Ups 2 shorts

What started out as a ho hum punishment had gotten better in time. McLovin the bracket master, who had used his wife and child as an excuse to create two unfinished copies of his bracket, had served out his punishment over the past five shows. The Dartmouth basketball uniform that he began the punishment with was just so unsatisfactory. Shorts too loose and long, socks too long, long sleeve Under Armour compression shirt under the tank – fail. McLovin likes to dress up, this was too easy and Paulie knew it. So the heat got turned up and the last three days the shorts got shorter and each time they got shorter they got a little tighter. Who paid more for McLovin’s punishment? It certainly didn’t seem like McLovin, the audience or Dan. The punishment actually drifted over to the front row as McLovin made his "presence" known as he approached and hovered over Seton and especially Paulie. Now that was entertainment. Not as much as will be seen when Grown Ups 2 comes out this summer and DP will be sporting his "Bill Walton" short shorts but McLovin’s showing was good enough for day time television. 

Showing Colors, Loves Him Some Rubio, LVD Becoming a Reality

Showing Colors 

So long Pats, hello Broncos

Fritzy was in the words of Phil from Duck Dynasty, “Happy Happy Happy” today.  When the news of Wes Welker going from the Patriots to the Broncos hit, Fritzy was surely celebrating in his zubaz pants.  Choosing which Bronco items to wear and what to leave home must have been pleasurable torture.  How much was too little, what was too much.  Visions of a Super Bowl trophy, shiny and bright, must have been a highlight in Todd’s dreams Wednesday night.  Fritzy in a happy mood makes Seton nuts.  The cooing over the phone with Rich Eisen, from the NFL Network, was just too sugary sweet.  The papal mock headlines were good throughout but the shamrock shake PSA was a colossal fail.  He was even, should I dare say it, a little cocky, getting up during break and standing in one of DP and Seton’s break talks.  Before long Seton will have his chance to be sickening too with all of his Yankee play of the day clips and Jeter references.   Soon Seton, soon, your day will be here.

Loves Him Some Rubio 

Getting props from Mannix long time

Occasional guest host, Chris Mannix of SI, called in Thursday as Chris in New York to berate DP for not giving Ricky Rubio of the Timberwolves, what Chris felt, was some much deserved love.  You could almost get a clear visual of Mannix sitting on the edge of his chair, red faced, hair standing straight up and hands waving as Chris’ voice raised trying to make his points to DP.  Well, at least Rubio has one fan that refuses to give up, even though he can’t shoot.  Yes Chris, we know, he can still learn to shoot. 

LVD Becoming a Reality 

Who will be the shining LVD star for March?

The least valuable Danette award is getting closer to becoming a reality.  The crystal star award was revealed along with its monthly award status.  Up in the air was the value of voting.  Would fans be allowed to vote? It would help to have an outside opinion away from the behind the scenes office politics. What weight would their vote have?  Would the Danettes be comfortable voting, especially if it was a public vote?  The only one who said they would not was Fritzy, so by majority rule, the Danettes get to vote too.  The award is not retro fitted so the first LVD will be for the month of March.  Only 17 days and counting.  Get your stupid on boys!

The Master Going to the Masters

The Master Going to the Masters 

Dan will be going to the Masters in Augusta and this will not be a joint road trip with the Danettes. Sad faces did not change his mind. Dan held strong. Why no Danettes for this one? Fear. Fear that the Danettes will embarrass him at the prestigious golf tournament by shouting "You da man!" or getting caught trying on one of the historic green jackets. If they called out something stupid on the grounds DP would just have to stab them. 

Who will DP see wear the green jacket this year?

Not that Dan would know anything about trying on green jackets. DP made a trip to Augusta once before and took a wrong turn coming out of the bathroom only to find himself in the champions locker room. Open a locker or two and there she is. A green jacket. This one belonging to Jack Nicholas. He has to slip her on to see how she felt. A little tight, but Dan didn’t mind sliding into something tight. It felt good and that’s all that mattered.



 

Fritzy All A-Rousey, Seton Shooting Low, WOP on the Line

WOP On The Line 
We have a little while to wait, but there is a Wheel of Punishment bet on the line with the national title game.  If Indiana or Duke wins the national title, Dan has to take Paulie to dinner and Seton spins the wheel in place of DP.  If neither Indiana nor Duke win the national title, Paulie has to spin the wheel, but DP does not need to take Seton to dinner, even though he probably will since he’s closest to Seton of all the Danettes.  Is Seton adding up points
for 2013 MVD?  You bet he is!

Seton Shooting Low

Seton has been taking shots at the boss lately.  In defending his position, he landed a low blow to the fellow Danettes saying DP already has three yes men, he doesn’t need a fourth.  Once the newness of DP’s surgery wore off, Seton’s been taking advantage of the wounded like a lion attacking a gazelle with a broken leg. 





Fritzy All A-Rousey 

MMA fighter Ronda Rousey, UFC Bantamweight Champion, was booked on the Thursday show and hours before coming on Fritzy was already in creepville.  Her pre-fight preparation and the fact that she could physically dominate him put one Todd Fritz’s mind into fantasyland.  Female to male sports domination became the poll and studio question of the day.  Poll takers were fine with it, as well as Seton – sort of, if it was his wife taking him in soccer yes – otherwise not so sure, Paulie – Jennifer Lawrence much more superior archer, McLovin – Rebecca Lobo in basketball no problems and Fritzy – any woman could beat him in anything and he wouldn’t mind.  Dan, he has issues with a woman being able to beat him.  By the way, Dan doesn’t care to watch women fighting in any form.  It’s just not enjoyable for him.  For Dan, a woman doesn’t have to prove that she is tough.  For anyone who has been through childbirth, you will understand that point of view.  

Competition Through and Through + More

Competitive Through and Through 

Did he smile like this when DP
told him to move his fat ass?

Once a competitor, always a competitor. At least that’s what runs through the blood of one Dan Patrick. In a pick up basketball game with his fellow ESPN sportscasters at the time, DP was characteristic of what Carmello Anthony is today. The mouthy, selfish baller had no love for his co-workers. Even those that were playing on the same side as him. Once again, story time with Dan was entertaining with an assist from Jason Jackson, former ESPNer. Oh the good old days.



80’s Crooner or Nails on a Chalk Board 

Fritzy-stuck in an '80's Rick Astley video

Fritzy’s been taking hits over the last two days about his singing. This includes changing the poll question to ask if he should be allowed to continue to sing on the show. The voters chose to allow him to sing but I have to admit, when Fritzy sings the only songs he can, Rick Astley or Hall and Oates, either I cringe or turn the volume down. It’s not the artists, it’s his interpretation of the artists. Maybe if there were the background music playing to help tone down his voice it wouldn’t be as bad. He needs to grow beyond two artists and three or four songs. Not sure what John Legend and Darius Rucker see in him but God bless him for trying. Not many people I know would have the guts to sing on radio or TV. For those that aren’t this crooner’s fan, cover your ears America. He’s not going away.

The Pendulum Swings the Other Way 

DP's mood - not as soft as the angry chair

Seton and Fritzy took strikes at the boss, his ability to sing and his group dominance. Seton claims Dan can’t sing and Fritzy claims he sings better than DP. Fritzy continued to poke at the bear saying Dan needs to be the center of attention and the funniest guy in the room. Of course Dan felt the opposite on both counts. McLovin swayed both ways. He said Dan was a liar, that Dan would hold negative comments about him against those that made the comment although Dan said he would not for things that were said in the box or on The Box Score. Then McLovin turned the page in the next breath and went back to sucking up to the boss again. Dan has not been in a good way just before and since his shoulder surgery. It’s like he’s always in the angry chair even when he’s not. The Danettes must say prayers each night that the next morning DP will be in a better mood that lasts the entire show. The completion of the rehab and healing process can’t come soon enough. DP is cranky watching the guys shoot hoops and take swings on the golf simulator from the sidelines. Not much fun for DP or the Danettes. Entertaining though for the audience.





 

Is it all an act?, Under the top, Don't touch me!, Down goes Fritzy

Down Goes Fritzy

It may be the day of love, but there was no love for Fritzy in the man cave today. The other Danettes took over valentine related sports words, his mock headlines were atrocious, he couldn’t even get his poll question suggestions all the way out of his mouth before getting shot down. If Fritzy wasn’t sexually frustrated by the end of the day by the events of the last three days……….…watch out Mrs. Fritz! 

Don’t Touch Me! 

If you resemble this, you have a
pretty good shot at getting a hug

Dan and the Danettes seem to have attributes similar to fish: Scaly and slimy, big eyes with opened mouths and sadly, cold to the touch. Hug, forget it unless you’re a drop dead gorgeous woman. Hand shake, no thank you unless you’re a celebrity and insist, knucks are preferred, sort of. High fives, rarely if you’re in the front row only, or a celebrity they don’t want to offend. But if they’ve tipped a few, you’re chances will increase. So here’s some advice: Unless you are a top specimen of the female form, and you would like some type of physical contact with Dan or a Danette, either catch them after they have consumed a quantity of adult beverages or ply them with such beverages and after a suitable amount of time and consumption, then attempt contact. Do not attempt unless the above apply.

Is it all an act?

As the show was coming back from its second break, you could hear Seton say the words: "a character I play." That got some thoughts rolling. Are Dan and the Danettes all characters that are being played out five days a week on the radio/TV? Dan Patrick isn’t Dan’s real name. Are Paul Pabst, Patrick O’Conner, Todd Fritz and Andrew Perloff their real names? Are they really the way they seem? Could you really drink as much/often as Seton and hold a technical position on morning radio/TV? Could you really be as needy and insecure as Fritzy and still be able to book guests as well as he does? Does McLovin really watch that little sports and that much TV and movies that target a female audience? Could Paulie really love soccer that much? Does Dan really think that the group he has assembled can operate at perfection? Are they real or are they parts each person plays? Just wonderin’.

Under the Top 

Are you a beer drinker? If not a beer drinker, do you know someone who is? Have you/they tried Audible Ale? If not, why not? Pop the top and look underneath. Recognize anything? Maybe it’s your name, someone else’s name or a catch phrase you’ve heard before. If you have someone who is popping your top for you, ask him, or her, what they’ve got underneath.



　

Who'd You Rather?, Not Ladies Men

    Who’d You Rather? 

Intimidation...

With the SI cover of Michael Jordan turning 50, conversation and the poll question was based on who would you rather play with – Michael Jordan a selfish player who treated his teammates with intimidation to try to make them better? Or, LeBron James who is not a selfish player who tries to make his teammates better through encouragement and mentoring? From working with both leadership styles, it doesn’t come down to who they are necessarily, but you. What is your natural personality response to a domineering or a nurturing personality? Sure you can adjust your own personality style to work better with either leadership type, but when push comes to shove and the right button is pushed, your natural personality response always come out. Good or bad, it is what it is.

or encouragement?

            Not Ladies Men

Lovable...

This could also be titled how not to have a happy marriage. Something the back row has still to figure out after all these years is what to say and how to handle yourself around beautiful women and then once you are home. Time and time again McLovin and Fritzy don’t know how to do either. Could this lead back to the formative relationship years? Their natural personalities and what that desires in the type of women they dated/married? What experiences they had or didn’t have in high school and college? Who they would rather be than who they are? Of course it does. The front row and Dan have learned and practice this well. They’re smooth about the process from beginning to end. The back row begins screwing up days before the model or actress crosses their path. Dan, Paulie, Seton and even Casey try to coach Fritzy and McLovin, but do they listen? No. Sorry to say for both themselves and their wives, they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Now it’s not that these guys are Bradley Cooper or George Clooney and can get away with what they say or do with charm and a smile. These guys are like Jason Alexander as George Castanza and Andy Dick fiction or real life. Yes, they can be funny at times, but if they stick their foot in it, it almost always smells.

or lunk-head?

　

Will You Miss Me When I'm Gone?

Will You Miss Me When I’m Gone?  

And the Ram Truck goes to...
Seton!

If for some reason Dan didn’t make it through surgery, he has a plan, to be buried 15 feet deep because that’s the distance from the free throw line to the basket.  The Danettes jumped in that Chris Mannix would be ready to fill in right away on Monday, although Fritzy thought they should enjoy a three day weekend then return to work on Tuesday.  Dan said he would let Seton have his Dodge Ram. Although Paulie truly has been the biggest admirer, Seton is Dan’s favorite.  Dan also wanted to know what the headlines might be.  The mock headlines from Seton, the fans, a few that would like to succeed Dan and Fritzy were some of the best.  People were truly inspired. Rick Eisen felt he should be the one in the on deck circle should the position become open.  Maybe a quick call to Dan’s boss would move along the process.  Rich and Dan did wonder if deer antler spray or HGH would get Dan on the mend sooner.  Dan did say his arm was going to be in a sling and he might need some help.  That was an open invitation for an opportunity to move up in the 2013 MVD rankings. The Arcade Fire Tribute this week it went out to Dan’s surgeon – “Damn I hope you’re good!” and his anesthesiologist “I better wake up!”

Speaking of MVD Rankings  

How many times should this have
gone to someone other than
Fritzy? 1? 2?

The topic of who’s the most important Danette came up again today because Fritzy was not firm on his answer the day before.  Then the wording changed from important to MVD.  Once that happened, the whole game changed.  The vote went around the room again and you could not vote for yourself.  Paulie voted for Seton and everyone else voted for Paulie.  This is interesting because Dan has never declared Paulie MVD.  The closest he came was the year of Charlie Sheen, but it was given to Fritzy for one of his hospital stays instead.  This little team building exercise backfired and didn’t leave anyone with a good feeling including Dan.  He wondered if his sympathy for Fritzy clouded his judgement in deciding MVD, especially the Charlie Sheen year.  Hopefully this will give him a clearer perspective at the end of this year when he chooses MVD.

Chris Mannix from SI/SI.com will be filling in for Dan Friday.  

Dan plans to be back in the man cave Monday.

Cry Us A River

Cry Us a River

Next time your head begins to swell
imagine yourself no longer in the picture

If your boss had made negative comments to you either about your work or personal items you chose to share with him, then you told your wife what he said/did when you got home, would it be acceptable for your wife to text, call, email or confront your boss in any way?  Also, this is not the first time this has happened.  Actually, it’s happened multiple times. Where I come from, never in a million years would this be accepted in the work place.  With the unemployment rate what it is, would you want your spouse to take this risk for you?  No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Fortunately, Dan Patrick is an extremely understanding boss and Fritzy still has a job.  Your boss routinely picks up the tab for beer and wings.  You take this perk for granted and this doesn’t come to mind when you decide to complain to your wife about how terrible your day was at work.  Get a grip.  You’re on a national television and radio show.  You get gifts and perks through the show.  How were all those Shari’s Berries you had today? You get to go to various locations thanks to your boss/job for movie premieres, award shows, other television shows, sporting events and more.  You get to talk to and meet musicians, athletes, models and actors/actresses that you would never meet otherwise.  You’ve been in a major movie! Yet you complain and it’s ok that your wife contacts your boss to complain.  Your boss routinely listens to your woes and how you have it so much worse than everyone does.  Sven in CA was asking Dan about his surgeries and then the whole conversation, once again, became all about you.  Yes, there was a very funny moment that came from all of that complaining you did but still, really.  Look around, wise up, appreciate what you have, grow a pair and thank your wife for her support but that needs to remain at home. There are tens of thousands of people that would give up so much of the little they have to have the job you do. Look for empathy somewhere else.  If you dish it, take it, or don’t dish at all.

By the way, thank goodness McLovin's attempts to turn the show's attention to him didn't work.  PEDs are stronger than McLovin cries for attention.  All in all, I still love this show.

Welcome to NO, Caught Going Down, Wet & Wild in NO,

Noteworthy From the 01-28/29 Shows

Welcome to New Orleans 

To the left of set is 50 yd football field, outdoor golf
simulator & screen for fans to watch show

If you are near the set...come by. 8am-11am New Orleans time. Port Of New Orleans...big set at end of Convention Center Drive. Just watch out for the big dude in the suit and tie guarding the set. 

To the left DP's set, then outdoor guest greenroom/coffee time set, center is 1/2 court basketball, thenan outdoor guest green room for Artie Lange's set 

that is on the far right.  DP Show RV is behind his set.

I Need Sven
You know it’s going to be a bad day for Fritzy on mock headlines, or in this case pick up lines, when he continues to try again and again for approval of lines that Paulie and Dan have already told him no. Or is it that he didn’t have confidence in the lines that remained? All in all there was no need for the plea to have the lines reinstated or him asking for Sven’s help. Although the lines were not golden, they definitely ranked silver with touches of playfulness that fell right to Fritzy’s pervy side.



Caught Going Down

Beadle tough enough to
handle Fritzy and not complain.

New Orleans is Fritzy’s kind of town and removing the barriers of the home front are showing. The mock headlines were more racy and his eyes have already gotten him into trouble. At a Directv meet and greet party, Fritzy’s elevator eyes and a complement of that same female’s necklace created an adverse response. The woman, who is a former Laker girl ‘86-’87 team photo bottom left so we hear, covered herself up in record time when the comment was made and then complained to others: "What was that?" Maybe had Fritzy looked at her eyes sometime during the exchange the compliment on the necklace would have been just that, a nice complement and not something creepy. Can’t believe that Fritzy questioned if eye contact was necessary. Dan had stepped in and given apologies to try to smooth things over. Seton was disappointed he missed the scene. Fritzy said he wanted to take advantage of being in the devil’s playground while he was in New Orleans. His wife must be a saint to put up with all that is Fritzy, who also said, when you’re on the road you get excited. Probably a really good thing he’s not a traveling salesman. At least all Seton has done so far was break curfew tipping cups and glasses of adult liquids. Paulie did try to encourage Seton to walk back to the hotel with him but of course Seton had two in hand and said he was good. Fritzy, something else: Stop with the crossed arms peck and bicep flexing. That impresses NO ONE. The smile and laugh that Michelle Beadle, from NBC Sports The Crossover, gave you was fake, fake, fake. She has a good fake laugh just like Seton and most likely any other female that smiles and laughs when you do that has a good fake laugh as well. Stop it. Just stop it.


Wet & Wild in New Orleans 

Inspiration for The Box Score Show open

The fountain on the Directv set had to be used. It had to have five grown men splashing and dancing in it recreating the Friends opener. If Friends was more current, maybe the piece would have looked more masculine. No, it wouldn’t. Five men in a fountain in New Orleans splashing and dancing without a female in sight is not masculine at all. McLovin said he was Ross, Fritzy chose Joey, Paulie was Rachel, Seton wavered between Phoebe and Chandler. That would make Casey, Monica. It was a very well reenacted piece by the Danettes and Casey and very well produced. Actually it was probably one of the best in overall quality. Just one question: Did Seton and McLovin really have to do the hand grab and wave though? Also, why didn’t McLovin think to bring a full change of clothes so he wasn’t in wet pants during the half time cut in to the New Orleans man cave where the Danettes were supposed to look genuinely busy in the camera shot. Wonder if Sam Flood, a well-known NBC Sports director, will repeat that background shot again next year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8p-b1YReaI&feature=youtu.be

　

　

　

Accountability

So far there has only been one
 to spin the wheel

Accountability
Surely many people were looking forward to Fritzy spinning the WOP but no such luck. Maybe Fritzy’s daughter called Dan last night and gave him the riot act for Dan being mean to her daddy. Tough little kid. 

Listen to the man's
message and music

A new wager is on the line but we won’t know the results until after the NFL draft. McLovin put his three ATG predictions as set in stone, this will happen moments. All three predictions must occur. On the line: He’ll give up ATG for a month and work as the researcher for SOTD for a month. If they do happen, Seton will wear an I Love ATG t-shirt. Big whoop on Seton’s end, he’s worn worse. Speaking of SOTD, Jamey Jasta, the man responsible for the SOTD theme song that Dan loves so much, did a celebrity SOTD. SOTD continues to grow in its popularity. Here’s hoping for a STOD McLacky.

Would you rather have a 10:30 pm CST curfew and have someone hold you accountable or have an 11:00 pm CST curfew and be on the honor system? This is the question hanging over the heads of the Danettes for their week in New Orleans. Who does this most apply? Let’s dissect this: Fritzy will be in his room right after dinner, or before if he orders room service or Chinese (they have Chinese food in the Big Easy right?). The TV will have the discounted pre-pay adult movie package already in place from the time he checks in until the time he checks out. McLovin may have a little trouble if he’s not paying attention to the time if he’s being one of the girls with the SI swimsuit models. Paulie will only have a problem if he’s stopped checking out places to eat and is trying to keep up with Seton. Seton is the one to worry about. Seton loves his cups and his music. There are plenty of both to go around. Should too many cups grace his lips, 11:00 pm CST becomes, "Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave." Looking forward to the hung over version of Seton for all five days. That would have to lead to a WOP wouldn’t it? Will there be beads? The Danette mouths may be saying no now, but once they get down there, their actions may say yes. 

Zero Dark Dirty, Guest of the Day, Bring Your Mom with You & More

Bring Your Mom With You

All the things a mom would
need to care for McLovin

Is bringing his mom to work what’s needed for McLovin to be a better Danette? Or should there be a butler or a maid to take care of the Dartmouth grad’s messes? McLovin showered in DP’s bathroom this morning, which Dan didn’t mind. Better to have a clean McLovin than a stinky McLovin. But Dan should not have had to pick up after him in order to use the bathroom. Let’s look at why McLovin needs a maid. If the camera isn’t on him, he doesn’t clean up his coffee and water spills. When he can, he gets the crew to do that for him. He leaves his coffee cups and water bottles wherever he sees fit. When he’s done with them he’s too lazy to toss his trash or too absent minded to take it with him. Is there money in the budget for a maid or butler? I may want to sign up for that studio job! If he had his mom there, maybe she could check his work and make sure sources were quoted properly, i.e. Peter King, so DP doesn’t get in trouble for using a line McLovin sold as his, when it was not. Maybe mom could take care of that "cut" he said he had on his tongue from Dan hitting him with the soccer ball yesterday. 

New Orleans Man Cave Hint 

Will we see this iconic scene on
DP's New Orleans man cave set?

Dan clued us is that the New Orleans man cave that Directv is building is going to be their own French Quarter. Of course Fritzy will be brining his own carry on bag full of beads. He’s already asking for guidance on when he’s crossing the line and if he’s eating too much or the wrong thing. Maybe he should bring his mom to work too.






Insecurity, Competitiveness or Both?

Fritzy knows boners, does he know what
a little back bone is?

What drives Todd Fritz more, insecurity or competitiveness? Just because Dan or one of the other Danettes shoots a one liner that contributes to the show doesn’t mean you have to try to top it with a dud. Paulie is the professional topper. Leave topping to the professionals. Sven called in and had a few mock headlines that were pretty good. But he didn’t take Dan’s advice and walk off when he should have but he did well overall. Dan gave Fritzy a one and done opportunity that should have been done after one but Fritzy went for two and neither really hit the mark. You know a line is bad if you have to explain it. Instead of explaining it, just let it go. It’s much more enjoyable to watch when Fritzy shows some back bone and stands up for himself, especially when he stands up to Dan’s taunting than to watch when he goes into the role of the victim.

Guest of the Day 

If you look closely you can see hair horns
and steam coming from Chris' ears

The Guest of the day has to be Chris Mannix. When he gets passionate and fired up he becomes almost manic. His voice goes higher and louder and he speaks really fast. You can almost see him through the phone line: jaw clenched, forehead tight, face red, waving his hands all over the place. He’s slightly calmer when he guest hosts, but still a riot. First choice guest host when Dan's out for surgery?

Zero Dark Dirty 

Thank you for the line Fritzy, I couldn’t resist. Dan watched Zero Dark Thirty last night and gave his professional actor review. The movie is complicated at the beginning getting the story established but it’s well worth sticking with. The last half-hour is spectacular and really well done. Director Katherine Bigelow, like Ben Affleck for Argo, should have been nominated for an Oscar. So what one thing did Dan walk away from the movie with? Most people would come away with how great our troops were on that mission, but not our Dan. His lasting thought was how hot Jessica Chastain was.

Keep Your Hands to Yourself, McTe'o ?, Can't Let Go & More

Keep Your Hands to Yourself

Big brother is watching

Just as Elway’s framed jersey has taken abuse, so has Fergie’s bust. It’s one thing to think about doing something, like Seton did, it’s another thing to do it like Fritzy and McLovin. Yes, poor Fergie’s bust has been felt up by McLovin at least once, and most likely numerous times by Fritzy. Dan says the bust is something to be viewed and admired, Fritzy feels it’s something that you should touch. Dan tried to clean off the fingerprints with the sleeve of his pull over but had to leave the fingerprints where Fergie had written her dedication for fear that he would wipe off the ink. Are all the cameras turned off after the show is done? Maybe having a motion sensor security camera or two would be a good addition to the man cave for after hours or the wee hours of the morning.

Fritzy Double Loser 

From the past crazy town days

Part One: During his call, Mark in MI, gave a Manti Te’o mock headline. Fritzy tried to top it with his own that he had prepared. Let’s say they just weren’t that good. For that, Fritzy lost the opportunity to do COTW and McLovin had to go in the box to fill in. DP is rarely likes women with short hair and this cougar did not make the exception to his rule. The cougar chosen was Anne Heche. Remember that hot mess of craziness?

Yes he wore this
Yes he said that

While in the box, McLovin revealed that he was wearing a LiveStrong t-shirt under his zippered jacket and said: "Lance is back, it’s just a matter of time." Don’t know about that. Coming out of the box, McLovin revealed the shirt to the Danettes as well. Not sure if they were sincere or not but they wondered if McLovin had been working out, told him that he looked pretty ripped in that shirt, asked if he was wearing a medium… something isn’t quite right here. Maybe a future set up?

He who enjoys & thanks himself
is a man who insults his wife

Part Two: Fans v Fritzy – It was ugly. Todd had not only his brother behind him but now his wife as well. Sexual references always work on the show and there were a few that met that mark. In Lance Armstrong fashion, Fritzy even tried to cheat, but was caught using a headline that was already done by the fans. A scoring penalty ensued but it didn’t matter. Even without the penalty, the fans had it in the bag: fans 10, Fritzy 5. Fritzy’s said his wife better have her A game on tonight as he’s going to need to be consoled. If she was listening to the show and heard the way he said that, ain’t no way. Chinese and Cinemax for Fritzy.



McTe’o ?

McLovin's Mysterious Mindy

Our own McLovin boosted his love life stats sometime during the18 – 22 years of age range with what he now claims was his own imaginary girlfriend. Name: Mindy Location: Ontario. Dan did see a picture of a woman McLovin said was Mindy from Ontario, but was she who he said she was? Supposedly she was the love of his life before his wife but she couldn’t cross the border and didn’t have a green card??? What else has McLovin told us that isn’t true? Did he go to Dartmouth? Does he know Brooklyn Decker and Andy Rodick? Does he live in a one-bedroom apartment with a wife and two daughters? Does he own hats that aren’t promotional? Just more of the McLovin mystery.








An F is an A, a D is a B

Typical Danette Report Card

Did you ever alter a grade on a report card before it made it to your parents? You’re not alone if you did. Paulie did, but got caught because a follow up report card that was sent in the mail. McLovin and DP both changed grades. Thanks to DP's older and more troublesome brothers, Mike and Bill, he didn’t get in trouble. Fritzy’s worse school sin was plagiarizing a limerick in the 4^th grade that was published in the school newsletter, which he later had to come clean. Which is worse, a grade change or a 4^th grader copying a limerick for a contest?










       

       Can’t Let Go

Could it be that Rich is
mad because Dan has
hair?

Rich Eisen is a good dad and a sensitive guy. His son, five year old Zander, came on at the end of the interview to say hi to Uncle Dan and give a shout out to his friends, Cara and Penelope. According to Rich, these are real friends, not imaginary, cat-fished friends. Rich was fine with letting go of his son so he could go to school but Rich can not let go of something that happened with the show. One day, way back in 2009, Rich was bumped from coming on the air for Dan Bickley from the Arizona Republic. Cut the cord to this event Rich, cut the cord.




Going Against His Own Grain   

Yep, that's DP's logo
on the label

When the morning started, McLovin was still standing by his picks of September 5^th: Ravens and Niners for the Super Bowl. Today during his Against the Grain segment everything changed. He’s now picking the Patriots, Seton’s favorite team, and the Falcons, or as McLovin pronounces it Valcons. He called an Audible, an Audible Ale-teration.











No Dan Alert

Yeah, he's ok to play

Dan is having surgery on his shoulder the Friday after the Super Bowl. Don’t worry though, although he will not be able to be in studio, he’s still been cleared to play for the Red Skins. 














Arcade Fire Tribute

The tribute went out to long time audience member, Tilly in Bloomington. If you follow Tilly on Twitter, @BigLiciousT you know that yesterday he lost his 7 ½ year old yellow lab, Harley, to cancer. 

Tilly's Harley

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....  Author unknown...