Competition Through and Through + More

Competitive Through and Through 

Did he smile like this when DP
told him to move his fat ass?

Once a competitor, always a competitor. At least that’s what runs through the blood of one Dan Patrick. In a pick up basketball game with his fellow ESPN sportscasters at the time, DP was characteristic of what Carmello Anthony is today. The mouthy, selfish baller had no love for his co-workers. Even those that were playing on the same side as him. Once again, story time with Dan was entertaining with an assist from Jason Jackson, former ESPNer. Oh the good old days.



80’s Crooner or Nails on a Chalk Board 

Fritzy-stuck in an '80's Rick Astley video

Fritzy’s been taking hits over the last two days about his singing. This includes changing the poll question to ask if he should be allowed to continue to sing on the show. The voters chose to allow him to sing but I have to admit, when Fritzy sings the only songs he can, Rick Astley or Hall and Oates, either I cringe or turn the volume down. It’s not the artists, it’s his interpretation of the artists. Maybe if there were the background music playing to help tone down his voice it wouldn’t be as bad. He needs to grow beyond two artists and three or four songs. Not sure what John Legend and Darius Rucker see in him but God bless him for trying. Not many people I know would have the guts to sing on radio or TV. For those that aren’t this crooner’s fan, cover your ears America. He’s not going away.

The Pendulum Swings the Other Way 

DP's mood - not as soft as the angry chair

Seton and Fritzy took strikes at the boss, his ability to sing and his group dominance. Seton claims Dan can’t sing and Fritzy claims he sings better than DP. Fritzy continued to poke at the bear saying Dan needs to be the center of attention and the funniest guy in the room. Of course Dan felt the opposite on both counts. McLovin swayed both ways. He said Dan was a liar, that Dan would hold negative comments about him against those that made the comment although Dan said he would not for things that were said in the box or on The Box Score. Then McLovin turned the page in the next breath and went back to sucking up to the boss again. Dan has not been in a good way just before and since his shoulder surgery. It’s like he’s always in the angry chair even when he’s not. The Danettes must say prayers each night that the next morning DP will be in a better mood that lasts the entire show. The completion of the rehab and healing process can’t come soon enough. DP is cranky watching the guys shoot hoops and take swings on the golf simulator from the sidelines. Not much fun for DP or the Danettes. Entertaining though for the audience.





 

Givin' 'n Gettin', Be Like Gronk

Givin’ 'n Gettin’ 

Pawn in a vicious game of words

Dan didn’t start out at his best today, reportedly because of the meds he’s taking pre-surgery.  Picking up on the weakness and Dan’s fear of the upcoming surgery, Fritzy decided today would be a good day to pick on the boss and dig, dig, dig.  When Dan started to push back and the front row, Seton and Paulie, joined in, Fritzy decided things had gone too far and went from being a mean Danette, back to the big baby Danette. Fritzy made a final move by delivering a hurtful slice in answering the phone when Joe Montana called in.  It was decided long ago that when Paulie’s living football hero called in, he would be answering the phone so he could say a few words to him before Joe went on the air.  Fritzy knew what this meant to Paulie and when the phone rang, Fritzy who normally has to be told to answer the phone, jumped on it beating Paulie.  The reaction to the move was explosive and comical, especially if you were able to see the responses.  Fritzy’s move was done on purpose but with regret.  Could it be because revenge is a dish served cold and Paulie will be all over the phones the next time John Elway, Fritzy’s living football idol, is scheduled to call in?

Be Like Gronk 

Gronk likes to put on a show
Do the Dan and the Danettes?

Rob Gronkowski may have been holding back when he appeared on the show last Thursday in New Orleans, but he was back to his normal self when he was partying with friends in Las Vegas. Dancing sans shirt on stage with a couple of wrestling moves thrown in brought Dan down memory lane and he took a few of the Danettes with him with stories of shirts and no shirts.  

Danny gotta dance to Hootie

Dan was dancing shirtless in Glaskow, Scotland when he joined Hootie and the Blowfish when they were on tour long ago.  The drummer would perform shirtless and Dan always stayed within eyeshot of the stage.  It was blazing hot in the club so he took off his shirt while he was dancing.  He described his dancing as the Dougie but the Danny and creepy.  This left a lasting memory for Darius Rucker, the lead singer, and years later when he visited the Milford man cave he sang a song that included lyrics about the shirtless, dancing Dan.  

Buzzzz

Dan was also at an after Sports Center gathering of about nine guys years ago listening to RHCP where he was the viewer of a butt shaving.  Too much beer, too late the hour, too much time. Oh the things we missed learning about pre-smart phones, TMZ and social media!

Fashion swimwear

Seton during his seven year heavy party period during a good day of cups took off his shirt and put on his friend’s grandmother’s moo moo and later ended up in the koi pond. 

Any man would show what
he could for a camp
counselor like this

Fritzy recalled removing his shirt, strutting his stuff and showing off to senior counselors when he was a camp counselor in training. His back row partner, McLovin, had nothing to contribute, as usual.


It should be noted that when Dan asked this morning if any of the Danettes in their current condition would remove their shirt to dance if a persuasive female asked them to do so.  Seton and McLovin were a resounding no, Paulie would, and girdle, surgical scars and all, Fritzy would as well.  Pass on the last.

Sweet sweater vest!
Wanta trade?

Back to Paulie.  He wasn’t going to offer up any stories but Dan did for him.  A story that Paulie had forgotten about and had also forgotten that he had once told Dan.  At a frat party at Ole Miss, a girl that was wearing a T-shirt and sweater vest liked the T-shirt and sweater vest Paulie was wearing so they exchanged tops and then danced together. Oh young lust. 

Tales from South Beach, Hanging Off Emmy and More

Tales from South Beach

Look! I played ball too!

Dan saw Jesse Palmer of Bachelor and Florida football fame. Women would just approach him and ask to take a picture with him because they loved him on the Bachelor not knowing or caring that he was once hot in the college ranks as well. Pop culture.

Oh! Greg! There you are!

Dan didn’t realize it at first, but he ran across Greg McElroy from the Jets. He told McElroy if he had turned around and laid on his back, as if he had been sacked, Dan would have recognized him sooner. Greg didn’t think it was that funny. Come on man, loosen up!

Situation Not. Good.

Needing to be shady and not another type of shady at the same time, Dan was faced with a beach decision. As Dan was returning from his walk on the beach, he ran across a group of topless women and a couple of guys sun bathing. Dan could not look, only glance, as he didn’t have his sunglasses. One of the guys was putting lotion on his girlfriend’s back and recognized Dan. He invited Dan to finish applying the lotion. Dan declined the offer as well as the offer to have a beer with them. Nothing good would have come of either of those exchanges. Surely TMZ, Radar Online or Dead Spin would have caught either participation. In the words of Brady Hoke from Michigan, "Not. Good."

Who's Brent spotting now?

What does everyone agree was missing from Brent Musburger’s creepy, old guy description of AJ McCarren’s girlfriend, who was sitting in the stands watching the game? One of Fritzy’s hug moans – "Hmmm."









Silent Voices from the Past  

Facebook finds the interior crack

It’s been 30 years and Dan still talks about the one that got away, Jenny Bashee. So who sends him a Facebook friend request during the first segment of the show. You guessed it. What’s her motivation for opening old wounds? Who knows? She put our man Dan in a tailspin during the break - crossing his arms in defense, looking down at the floor, pacing, and seeking Danette advice. Fortunately, Dan’s a pro, he was able to make a valiant come back and move on once he was back behind the mic. Woman, unless your hair was on fire, you were tied to a chair and Dan was the only one on earth, you don’t 
contact Dan with this type of stuff while 
he’s on the air!


                Top Elephant

Twitter brings the mock headlines
Bama's elephant brought the crush

There was no way there were not going to be great mock headlines generated by the BCS Championship game. But who would provide the best? Random tweets Paulie took last night? Sven in Ca? Fritzy? The best headlines came from the random tweets that Paulie took last night. Watch out! New kids in town!




Hanging Off Emmy  

Kevin's mug

New item in the man cave today now hanging from the Emmy on the turnstile as part of Dan’s desk – an autographed coffee mug Brian Baumgartner sent that looks like him.  It came off of his desk that was on the set of The Office.  

Yep, still smelly

Earlier on, Dan received Jack Taylor’s record breaking, game worn socks.

Only Paulie and Seton (sort of) know

Paulie’s working on another item for the man cave but can’t talk about it right now.  There has been a lot of jumping through hoops and going through many channels of approval.  We’re about 90% there, Paulie reports.  Dan doesn’t know what it is or who it’s coming from and tried to get a hint by asking what sport it’s coming from.  Being the great producer, Paulie wouldn’t budge.  Seton was told, but of course, doesn’t remember.

                No Emmy Here 

McLovin got his acting inspiration from
"Erica Kane" circa 1980's

Although there was lots of drama, McLovin will not be getting an Emmy for his performance in and out of the box. Maybe he’ll be able to get an additional Awful Announcing award for hamming it. "Poor me", coughing, changing his voice, collapsing on the floor as he reached for the door knob, crawling out of the box to towards the bar, grabbing the leg of a bar stool and toppling it on top of him. Susan Lucci would be proud. Even McLovin admitted he took it too far.

Who’s in Nick’s Head? 

Nick's on his way to Hotel California

Nick Saban, Head Coach from Alabama, has plans. Plans to finish recruiting loose ends and then head to the lake and play air guitar. Off his iPad he’ll be playing along with the 70’s and 80’s guitar heroes of Clapton, Who, Stones, Zeppelin and Hootie and the Blowfish. Yes, Hootie, rock icon. Even Darius Rucker would back off of that description. For what it’s worth, he’s also partials to the Eagles… band.