Tales from South Beach, Hanging Off Emmy and More

Tales from South Beach

Look! I played ball too!

Dan saw Jesse Palmer of Bachelor and Florida football fame. Women would just approach him and ask to take a picture with him because they loved him on the Bachelor not knowing or caring that he was once hot in the college ranks as well. Pop culture.

Oh! Greg! There you are!

Dan didn’t realize it at first, but he ran across Greg McElroy from the Jets. He told McElroy if he had turned around and laid on his back, as if he had been sacked, Dan would have recognized him sooner. Greg didn’t think it was that funny. Come on man, loosen up!

Situation Not. Good.

Needing to be shady and not another type of shady at the same time, Dan was faced with a beach decision. As Dan was returning from his walk on the beach, he ran across a group of topless women and a couple of guys sun bathing. Dan could not look, only glance, as he didn’t have his sunglasses. One of the guys was putting lotion on his girlfriend’s back and recognized Dan. He invited Dan to finish applying the lotion. Dan declined the offer as well as the offer to have a beer with them. Nothing good would have come of either of those exchanges. Surely TMZ, Radar Online or Dead Spin would have caught either participation. In the words of Brady Hoke from Michigan, "Not. Good."

Who's Brent spotting now?

What does everyone agree was missing from Brent Musburger’s creepy, old guy description of AJ McCarren’s girlfriend, who was sitting in the stands watching the game? One of Fritzy’s hug moans – "Hmmm."









Silent Voices from the Past  

Facebook finds the interior crack

It’s been 30 years and Dan still talks about the one that got away, Jenny Bashee. So who sends him a Facebook friend request during the first segment of the show. You guessed it. What’s her motivation for opening old wounds? Who knows? She put our man Dan in a tailspin during the break - crossing his arms in defense, looking down at the floor, pacing, and seeking Danette advice. Fortunately, Dan’s a pro, he was able to make a valiant come back and move on once he was back behind the mic. Woman, unless your hair was on fire, you were tied to a chair and Dan was the only one on earth, you don’t 
contact Dan with this type of stuff while 
he’s on the air!


                Top Elephant

Twitter brings the mock headlines
Bama's elephant brought the crush

There was no way there were not going to be great mock headlines generated by the BCS Championship game. But who would provide the best? Random tweets Paulie took last night? Sven in Ca? Fritzy? The best headlines came from the random tweets that Paulie took last night. Watch out! New kids in town!




Hanging Off Emmy  

Kevin's mug

New item in the man cave today now hanging from the Emmy on the turnstile as part of Dan’s desk – an autographed coffee mug Brian Baumgartner sent that looks like him.  It came off of his desk that was on the set of The Office.  

Yep, still smelly

Earlier on, Dan received Jack Taylor’s record breaking, game worn socks.

Only Paulie and Seton (sort of) know

Paulie’s working on another item for the man cave but can’t talk about it right now.  There has been a lot of jumping through hoops and going through many channels of approval.  We’re about 90% there, Paulie reports.  Dan doesn’t know what it is or who it’s coming from and tried to get a hint by asking what sport it’s coming from.  Being the great producer, Paulie wouldn’t budge.  Seton was told, but of course, doesn’t remember.

                No Emmy Here 

McLovin got his acting inspiration from
"Erica Kane" circa 1980's

Although there was lots of drama, McLovin will not be getting an Emmy for his performance in and out of the box. Maybe he’ll be able to get an additional Awful Announcing award for hamming it. "Poor me", coughing, changing his voice, collapsing on the floor as he reached for the door knob, crawling out of the box to towards the bar, grabbing the leg of a bar stool and toppling it on top of him. Susan Lucci would be proud. Even McLovin admitted he took it too far.

Who’s in Nick’s Head? 

Nick's on his way to Hotel California

Nick Saban, Head Coach from Alabama, has plans. Plans to finish recruiting loose ends and then head to the lake and play air guitar. Off his iPad he’ll be playing along with the 70’s and 80’s guitar heroes of Clapton, Who, Stones, Zeppelin and Hootie and the Blowfish. Yes, Hootie, rock icon. Even Darius Rucker would back off of that description. For what it’s worth, he’s also partials to the Eagles… band.


　

　

　

　

More important than the damn Emmy, I like it stuffed in the can, Bonus videos

More Important Than the Damn Emmy 
Dan must have caught the green eyed monster bug and gotten it from McLovin on Monday. You could hear it in Dan’s voice before, during and after the interview and into the next segment after break regarding Jack Taylor, shooting guard, for Grinnell College. For that kid to do something that Dan was never given the opportunity to do – a green light, to shoot as often as he got the ball, to get national recognition, to receive no assists, to score 110 more points than he had scored before in any college game, it was all too much for Dan to handle. His true frustration was with the coaches – let the other Grinnell kids play and for Faith Baptist – execute some defense! Danny Jaw Face was out and all over the place. Seton even told Dan he was better than that. For a forever frustrated baller, the numbers and recognition this kid received were more important than "the damn Emmy" Dan had on his desk. The audio replay of the game call from the college student announcer was just. plain. funny. I wonder who that student was aspiring to be. Being a low funded program, getting a souvenir for the man cave is going to be slim. Looks like Dan is going to have to settle for autographed, game worn socks. Woof!

This person in white brought out the
green monster in Dan 

I Like It Stuffed in the can? 
How do you like your cranberry sauce? Gelled or traditional? Dan likes his in the can – ba da boom. An audience member offered a more Fritzy-esk poll question: Stuffing – wife, mother, mother-on-law? Two of those three are just sick.

Yummy or Yucky?

Dan Patrick Show bonus videos:
Thanksgiving Coffee Break with McLovin and Seton Pays Up on His Bet. Both are guaranteed to at least make you smile.

www.danpatrick.com

It’s a Beer and Wings Kind of DayGet the wings on the plate, sauce on the side and a cold one ready in a frosty mug. Here come Dan and the boys!

Paulie - annoyed with the disruption
Dan - focused on what's on TV
Fritzy - food focused
Seton - the photographer (Thank You!)