More important than the damn Emmy, I like it stuffed in the can, Bonus videos

More Important Than the Damn Emmy 
Dan must have caught the green eyed monster bug and gotten it from McLovin on Monday. You could hear it in Dan’s voice before, during and after the interview and into the next segment after break regarding Jack Taylor, shooting guard, for Grinnell College. For that kid to do something that Dan was never given the opportunity to do – a green light, to shoot as often as he got the ball, to get national recognition, to receive no assists, to score 110 more points than he had scored before in any college game, it was all too much for Dan to handle. His true frustration was with the coaches – let the other Grinnell kids play and for Faith Baptist – execute some defense! Danny Jaw Face was out and all over the place. Seton even told Dan he was better than that. For a forever frustrated baller, the numbers and recognition this kid received were more important than "the damn Emmy" Dan had on his desk. The audio replay of the game call from the college student announcer was just. plain. funny. I wonder who that student was aspiring to be. Being a low funded program, getting a souvenir for the man cave is going to be slim. Looks like Dan is going to have to settle for autographed, game worn socks. Woof!

This person in white brought out the
green monster in Dan 

I Like It Stuffed in the can? 
How do you like your cranberry sauce? Gelled or traditional? Dan likes his in the can – ba da boom. An audience member offered a more Fritzy-esk poll question: Stuffing – wife, mother, mother-on-law? Two of those three are just sick.

Yummy or Yucky?

Dan Patrick Show bonus videos:
Thanksgiving Coffee Break with McLovin and Seton Pays Up on His Bet. Both are guaranteed to at least make you smile.

www.danpatrick.com

It’s a Beer and Wings Kind of DayGet the wings on the plate, sauce on the side and a cold one ready in a frosty mug. Here come Dan and the boys!

Paulie - annoyed with the disruption
Dan - focused on what's on TV
Fritzy - food focused
Seton - the photographer (Thank You!)

More unrest in the man cave, stab your sword, women of Buffalo

From the pre-show run down meeting:
If Dan fell asleep, how would he want it to be handled? We didn’t learn the answer to that question. There must be times that this may have occurred. Maybe during one of the lengthy against the grain segments that had no visual aids? Let’s take a trip down memory lane to one of McLovin’s more entertaining ATG segments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDW21Gadjmg

The video open was an ode to those having quality time with Fergie’s bust, most prominently Fritzy. Hopefully Fergie didn’t see that open. If she did, hope it didn’t creep her out too much.

I just don't think Dan can pull off a C cup

As the world becomes even more PC:UCLA has a problem with the USC tradition of the drum major Tommy Trojan planting the sword mid-field before the pre-game show. Should the sword be planted at the game, the USC band will not be allowed to play at half time. Really? It shows a lack of respect? Don’t you need a bit of a lack of respect to feel a competitive edge and go out there and beat the other team? Over all of the years and all of the games that this tradition has occurred you choose to defeat your opponent this way? Is this the only way you can get it done? Let’s just all hold hands and play ring around the rosy. Just don’t take away what truly matters to Dan and the Danettes – the USC song girl outfits.

The latest sports victim to political correctness

Drum Major Ed Carden of the USC Marching Band plants the sword in the UCLA logo before the 2008 rivalry game at the Rose Bowl. (Jeff Golden / Getty Images / December 6, 2008)

If UCLA thinks planting the USC sword is disrespectful, I can only imagine what they would think if UCLA pulled off what the 2004 Yale students did at a game versus Harvard at Harvard. Take a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4kai4FL0MQ

In a rare on air appearance, Two-a-Days gave us a SOTD. Shortly after Seton was called to the box at the top of the hour. Dan asked him before going into the box what was wrong. Typical kid to parent response – "Nothin’." "Why the sad face? Is it because you didn’t have a good first hour?" Sulky Seton went into the box to become Mr. Positivity and turn his frown upside down. It wasn’t because TAD did a stat of the day. Actually for his first time, he did better than Paulie who’s on mic regularly and has done SOTD a few times. The only bumming Seton is doing about SOTD comes from suggestions from the audience that he had tried, being a man of the people, that just didn’t work out and he took the heat. He says he has a good s-o-u-r-c-e (Jay Glazer?) for stat information and will be returning back to that game plan.

SOTD complications make
little Seton tired and grumpy

Seton’s going into the box at the top of the hour created another problem during the next break. Dan caught Seton coming out of his bathroom. You do not use Dan’s bathroom unless he gives you permission first. The staff bathroom was busy during the break and Seton really had to go the break before but couldn’t because of his box appearance. Seton’s solution, use Dan’s bathroom. Dan’s solution, next time pee outside. McLovin wondered if Seton thought he had the liberty because Dan and Seton had a private lunch yesterday. "Two men don’t go out to lunch together." Uh, yeah McLovin they do all the time. The lunches are just titled differently – "business lunch" or  "watch the game".

Maybe Dan needs a new sign for this door

More unrest in the man cave?So Seton had a private lunch with Dan Wednesday and is having another one today. From Dan’s Boss’ Thoughts segment: The Danettes are able to speak off the record about other Danettes to Dan. He does encourage them to address the issue directly with each other because DP does not want to be a go between and he doesn’t want there to be gossip. Well the gossip amongst the three remaining Danettes had already started. Are they talking about one of us? What are they talking about? Will this count against the rest of us being able to go out for beer and wings on Friday? So what do you eat at a private lunch? A shared basket of a dozen wings, two cheeseburgers and eight beers. We’ll see tomorrow if today’s private lunch plays a role in tomorrow’s show.

Can beer and wings solve the Danette issues?

Fritzy is loosening his grip on mock headlines when it comes to Sven in CA. Today Sven went 2 for 3 with Fritzy actually clapping at the last one. Fritzy has been too busy today pulling pictures of Samantha Steele from ESPN’s Game Day since he learned that she’s Christian Ponder’s, Viking QB, girl friend. The IT guy was in not long ago and there was only one computer that had issues. It’s never a good sign when you get the blue screen with white writing. The IT guy can thank Fritzy for being able to drive his nice, shiny Mercedes.

If your girl looked like Samantha,
would you mind answering questions about her?

It’s not Reggie Bush but McLovin who has some beef with the women in Buffalo. This was proven by audio that Two –a-Days had pulled out of the archives for an I Team report. I don’t know. I think for someone, who looks and acts like McLovin, he’s being far too picky. 

http://thebrigade.thechive.com/2011/08/23/one-city-the-other-ny-city-women-of-buffalo-76-photos/#close


The new Coffee Break with McLovin featuring Wild Bill, the cameraman, was sweet. As you would expect, Wild Bill steals the spotlight.

A little coffee banter with the wild one

Beauty secrets of the Danettes and a new sex drug

Just when you got over how hard it was to listen to the sports related Halloween names were, Fritzy brings out sports related presidential names. A mind-numbing list of sports names that have the last name of a president. Thankfully this list only comes out once a year and not annually. I don’t blame the other Danettes for hiding their heads, putting on the headphones to drown him out, or as Dan did, leave the room and just close your eyes until the massacre is over. Hope y’all got out and cast your vote.  Then don't do what I did, watched MM followed by Hannah Storm.

Poll question of the day:
Would you rather be the President or Vice President? VP does seem like a pretty sweet gig. Almost all the same perks without the responsibility. Kind of like the four Danettes don’t you agree?

Today the Danettes took a stab at guessing the "bombshell" question. If correct DP wouldn’t say who. One person did get it right. DP the master of mind games, as Seton said. As an example Dan played with Seton’s confidence walking into the box. Seton’s statement of Dan bringing the best of the best with him when he left the Mothership Dan knocked down. Yes Fritzy is the best of the best at what he does, Dan didn’t know Seton’s name, Paulie was doing Tony Stewart’s show on the Sirius NASCAR station and McLovin just showed up and wouldn’t leave. Confidence balloon popped. So the question not so rocking was who has updated their looks in the last two years in hair and make up for television. In August McLovin consulted his wife and stylist and touched up his hair. The stylist claimed it wouldn’t be noticed. Everyone noticed. When DP did it at the Mothership everyone noticed and it was a horrible experience for him. Paulie stood his ground and said he never did although his hair has looked lighter. Could that have been from the summer sun? Paulie’s wife stated he has never dyed his hair in their home. Paulie’s barber confirms that he has only cut the hair and what he did after leaving he did not know. Seton continues to think Paulie is lying. What about make up – other than Danette make up day and tiger face day. Fritzy considered "a little rouge and eye liner" but didn’t go through with it. That could be a bit drag queen if Fritzy applied it on that round face. The I Team, headed by Paulie, is investigating the I Team. Hairgate. 
 

On a side note:
Rick in MA questioned if maybe some artificial tanning was involved in making Paulie’s hair look darker. I can see it now. Paulie’s in the spray tan booth with swimmer goggles and the disposable shorts getting the spray applied channeling his inner Channing Tatum.

Is Paulie aspiring to look like one of these guys?

Seton’s official day for his Tiger bet pay off is Friday. Whitey Herzog hair cut, tiger make up and costume. What happened to singing Eye of the Tiger?

Whitey Herzog and his hair

Chris Berman got hammered on Twitter last night after his interview with the presidential candidates. What would DP do? Keep it light, keep it about sports. Don’t ask what everyone else is asking. Ask what the every man would want to know. Do you remember when DP was at ESPN and did the phone interview with Clinton and accidentally hung up on him? I wonder if the Clinton autographed picture of Clinton on the phone with Dan is hanging in the mancave?

 

No tequila face and jazz hands during the presidential
interviews Monday night

Just your everyday football family: How long does it take to hit the ground when your kid sends you airborne? According to Howie Long from NFL on Fox, when his St. Louis Rams defensive end son Chris sent him flying it seemed like an eternity.

 

Nothing like a father and son bonding

Bob Costas today spoke of his interview with Jerry Jones and other sports related stuff but more interestingly the art of the interview. Something that he does very well. I decided it’s not what he says or how it says it. It’s how his voice is like butter. Then Dan stepped in and did a topper of an interview question for Jay Cutler. DP wins once again. Costas admits defeat. This was only to be topped by Costas winning a Sports Emmy for his interview with Jerry Sandusky.

 

Costas with one of his 232 Emmys

What does DP dream about? SI swimsuit models? Jennifer Anniston? The chick from Entourage he’s so crazy about that I can’t pronounce her name? Nope. It’s par 3, 7 at Pebble Beach and not pervy dreams like Fritzy. Here’s another thing. Fritzy doesn’t drink, yet his conversations at lunch and the way he talks are as if he does. He gets a little loose after knockin’ back a few wings and the lips start to flappin’. Wings, the new drug. This can only be second to Fritzy’s Chinese food, Mountain Dew and Cinemax combo.

Chicken wings, the new sex drug

Sven in CA once again outdid Fritzy phoning in three killer mock headlines.

Wild Bill, one of the Directv cameramen, who’s a hoot to watch, is solid as a rock. No matter how many times Dan tossed a ball at his junk he didn’t flinch. Maybe he really is solid as a rock, down there.

DTV's Wild Bill's doppleganger, Hickok

Beer sampling after the show again today. This is the third rendition. Time to narrow down the final taste. This is the beer that will debut at the Super Bowl. The official name of the beer isn’t on the bottle yet and won’t be revealed until much later. Honey I’m working late again today!

To go with the beer today was the smell of the bread baking downstairs at Subway wafting up into Dan’s side of the studio.

Did you know: Dan’s mom once called the show concerned because her son had missed three shots in a row shooting hoops during a look in.

The man doesn't miss in his own house

Bonus feature:

Saw a new coffee break with McLovin today featuring Nick from the back. In the feature McLovin introduced Nick as the person responsible for the condition of the coffee maker and supplies. Well of course nothing was to McLovin’s liking so as punishment he poured what looked like cold coffee with cream over Nick’s head saying "Do better, no sorries." Now Nick may be shorter than McLovin but the dude is tight. I can only speculate that Dan gave him a bonus so he wouldn’t punch McLovin.

Giving feels good – keep it up! Thoughts and prayers still coming -
American Red Cross Website:

www.redcross.org/donate/index.jsp?donateStep=2&itemId=prod10002

Text: REDCROSS and donate $10 to 90999

Phone: 1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)