Do the Humpty Hump, Moody in the Man Cave, DP a Hater + More

01-23-13

Do the Humpty Hump

Yeah, Paulie can handle Howie's
hump move

Maybe that should read do the Howie Hump. Howie Long will be stopping by the New Orleans man cave and said he would put a defensive move on the Danettes when he visited. Because of his past injuries, Howie said the only thing left he could still do would be the hump move. Needless to say, not one person in studio was still thinking about football after that statement. The hump move is actually a name of a defensive move that Howie performed back in his Raider days. Could Howie be paid off in beads to hump? He didn’t understand the jest of the question or chose to ignore it and kept moving forward in the conversation. The last time Paulie stood up to a NFL player, Michael Strahan, during their Super Bowl week broadcasts he ended up cracking a rib and puncturing a lung. Good times. Will Paulie go for it again? Will Seton back away? Will McLovin wear Ellen Degeneres clothes if he stands up to Howie? Will Fritzy have his mind in the gutter as he watches? He wouldn’t go there would he?

Moody in the Man Cave

PLEASE! Send Dan his clubs

DP’s mood continues to decline the longer he has to wait for his new Callaway golf clubs and his patience is running low, especially with the poll question. The poll question really isn’t one of his favorite features but it’s something he wants to have for audience participation. He’s a bit fussy about the questions and today he didn’t like the question but it was put up on the website anyway. Well sort of. The wording of the poll question, submitted by Paulie, didn’t go on the website the way it was presented and the meaning of the question had changed. This of course made Dan mad because McLovin did his own interpretation and couldn’t understand how that changed things. Dan also didn’t like the debate that later ensued about how the meaning of the question had changed due to the wording. Whoever is at the top of the food chain at Callaway, please get Dan his clubs. The Danettes would appreciate it. Thanks

First Things First

Mia Sara left a
lasting memory

What types of things run through Dan’s mind at 6:45 in the morning? What’s the name of the female lead in Ferris Bueler’s Day Off? It took a phone call to Paulie to ease his mind. How did this come about? Serena Williams was beat by Sloan Stephens, Sloan Stephens leads to Sloan Peterson from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off equals hot chick memory.






DP a Hater? 

More than a pretty face?

Shae in Irving/MN/TX/Chicago called out DP for being a hater on Silver Linings Playbook. Whoa there deep voice. He wasn’t hatin’ on the film, just the last twenty minutes needed a boost. That and Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper didn’t deserve a five in the dance off. So what has made Shae so touchy about a movie? Shae is betting on the Oscars. He’s putting his money in the hands of the artistic mind. Doesn’t Shae know they don’t think like the sports minded or average Joe? Poor sucker.

Zero Dark Dirty, Guest of the Day, Bring Your Mom with You & More

Bring Your Mom With You

All the things a mom would
need to care for McLovin

Is bringing his mom to work what’s needed for McLovin to be a better Danette? Or should there be a butler or a maid to take care of the Dartmouth grad’s messes? McLovin showered in DP’s bathroom this morning, which Dan didn’t mind. Better to have a clean McLovin than a stinky McLovin. But Dan should not have had to pick up after him in order to use the bathroom. Let’s look at why McLovin needs a maid. If the camera isn’t on him, he doesn’t clean up his coffee and water spills. When he can, he gets the crew to do that for him. He leaves his coffee cups and water bottles wherever he sees fit. When he’s done with them he’s too lazy to toss his trash or too absent minded to take it with him. Is there money in the budget for a maid or butler? I may want to sign up for that studio job! If he had his mom there, maybe she could check his work and make sure sources were quoted properly, i.e. Peter King, so DP doesn’t get in trouble for using a line McLovin sold as his, when it was not. Maybe mom could take care of that "cut" he said he had on his tongue from Dan hitting him with the soccer ball yesterday. 

New Orleans Man Cave Hint 

Will we see this iconic scene on
DP's New Orleans man cave set?

Dan clued us is that the New Orleans man cave that Directv is building is going to be their own French Quarter. Of course Fritzy will be brining his own carry on bag full of beads. He’s already asking for guidance on when he’s crossing the line and if he’s eating too much or the wrong thing. Maybe he should bring his mom to work too.






Insecurity, Competitiveness or Both?

Fritzy knows boners, does he know what
a little back bone is?

What drives Todd Fritz more, insecurity or competitiveness? Just because Dan or one of the other Danettes shoots a one liner that contributes to the show doesn’t mean you have to try to top it with a dud. Paulie is the professional topper. Leave topping to the professionals. Sven called in and had a few mock headlines that were pretty good. But he didn’t take Dan’s advice and walk off when he should have but he did well overall. Dan gave Fritzy a one and done opportunity that should have been done after one but Fritzy went for two and neither really hit the mark. You know a line is bad if you have to explain it. Instead of explaining it, just let it go. It’s much more enjoyable to watch when Fritzy shows some back bone and stands up for himself, especially when he stands up to Dan’s taunting than to watch when he goes into the role of the victim.

Guest of the Day 

If you look closely you can see hair horns
and steam coming from Chris' ears

The Guest of the day has to be Chris Mannix. When he gets passionate and fired up he becomes almost manic. His voice goes higher and louder and he speaks really fast. You can almost see him through the phone line: jaw clenched, forehead tight, face red, waving his hands all over the place. He’s slightly calmer when he guest hosts, but still a riot. First choice guest host when Dan's out for surgery?

Zero Dark Dirty 

Thank you for the line Fritzy, I couldn’t resist. Dan watched Zero Dark Thirty last night and gave his professional actor review. The movie is complicated at the beginning getting the story established but it’s well worth sticking with. The last half-hour is spectacular and really well done. Director Katherine Bigelow, like Ben Affleck for Argo, should have been nominated for an Oscar. So what one thing did Dan walk away from the movie with? Most people would come away with how great our troops were on that mission, but not our Dan. His lasting thought was how hot Jessica Chastain was.