Owning It, Enjoyment !

Enjoyment! 

Pa-role model story
Playmaker was golden

There was a rare sighting today. So rare and shown for such a short time, still pictures could not capture it. When you see this occurrence it almost, almost, makes you want to say "Awww I feel so happy for him. Who is he? Paulie, one of the meanest Danettes. It was during the Michael Irvin interview. Paulie was seen laughing, smiling, clapping and putting his feet up on the desk. How did that feel Paulie? You should do it more often. Oh no, that’s right, you’re mean.

More enjoyment – Finally Dan’s clubs arrived minutes before the end of the show. Two-a-Days didn’t even get a chance to pull them out of the plastic wrap before the show ended. Hopefully this improves Dan’s mood for tomorrow. What else could be contributing to his attitude? He needs to give blood before he leaves for New Orleans for his surgery the Friday after he returns home from the trip. That and someone helped themselves to Dan’s Girl Scout Thin Mints leaving a half eaten sleeve out of the box. Pretty sure they don’t come that way. There were no confessors to the crime. 

Looking for sticky chocolate fingers

Life changing enjoyment. Yes, we learned that life changing enjoyment occurred with Dan’s daughters after they attended the One Direction concert. Dan experienced the enjoyment of having his hearing return after losing it from all the loud, screaming girls.

Changing lives one song at a time.

Someone will experience gambling enjoyment from bets placed on anything and everything Super Bowl. Super Bowl betting is a ten billion dollar business. Who will come out ahead and who will come out behind? Shae? Barkley?

Did you hear DP's heart
flutter during the interview?

The enjoyment of flirting happened today during Katie Couric’s interview today. It’s not often that you hear Dan ask more than once how he looks to do a phone interview. Yes, there was drama that occurred too from one of the two drama kings, Fritzy. Had Fritzy just toned it down a bit he wouldn’t be facing the Wheel of Punishment. Seton on his first vote around had voted for no WOP for Fritzy because he had Fritzy’s daughter’s voice in his head from when she asked Dan at the Christmas party why he was mean to her daddy. Second vote around Seton got over that and voted for the wheel. The stress of his guarantee and consequences to follow had put Fritzy’s bowels in an uproar. Yes, that’s the phrase he used. This wheel could put Fritzy in a depression for days. 

That should cover Friday
and Monday

There can be enjoyment in security. The security, if you’re a man, knowing that there are four rolls of toilet paper on the back of the toilet if you need to use that many in the course of a day. Really guys?!? There was a vanity under the sink. Couldn’t you have stored those rolls there or is that full of toilet paper too?

One day my name will be
known in every home in
the world !

There can be enjoyment in knowing who you are, but does everyone know who you are? Apparently not one of the callers today. There has been a slight name change. Meet your host of the show, Don Patrick. No, I didn’t spell that wrong. The caller actually called Dan, Don. Guess Dan hasn’t become a household name yet. 

Got out while the getting
was good

There can be enjoyment having co-workers you like and knowing that you don’t have to work with Nicki Minaj. Also, in not being Keith Urban who’s stuck in the middle of Nicki and Mariah Carey on American Idol. Why do ratings continue to slip on the show? One of the reasons Dan feels is that the show misses and needs Simon Cowell. Oh, the good old days. 





Owning It

Inspiration gone awry 

Fritzy had to take ownership of a mock headline that got past Paulie’s editing and Paulie had to take ownership of missing it. Fritzy should have known better and he probably did but put it out there anyway and Dan nearly shut down mock headlines. There may be more than one editing channel the headlines go through after today or a list of words that can’t be used. The headline was a take on the play, The Vagina Monologues. Fritzy’s version for the Manti Te’o/Katie Couric interview was The Vagina Dialogues. Although the censors will probably be ok with it, Dan definitely wasn’t.

Could these be in Paulie's
t shirt collection?
Go Bears circa old

You need to own your look. If it’s being an old man or imitating Ellen Degeneres’ look, so be it. Wearing clothes like you’re an eighty-year-old grampa in a thirty something body, own it. Don’t throw your boss under the bus saying the flannel shirt that he, Fritzy and Seton were wearing was so two thousand eleven. Paulie’s look is t shirts. I have a vision of dozens of totes holding t shirts that Paulie starts with one tote and works his way through the last and doesn’t repeat wearing a t shirt for a year. Everyone has free stuff. Either free stuff they decided to keep for "someday" use or free stuff they have plans to, or have sold, like CDs. People in or from radio culture learn to be that way and it’s a hard habit to break. Face it, the original three plus Dan feel most comfortable wearing clothes they would wear to a rock concert, walk the dog or be on radio. This is a TV show, about a radio show, on TV.

Do the Humpty Hump, Moody in the Man Cave, DP a Hater + More

01-23-13

Do the Humpty Hump

Yeah, Paulie can handle Howie's
hump move

Maybe that should read do the Howie Hump. Howie Long will be stopping by the New Orleans man cave and said he would put a defensive move on the Danettes when he visited. Because of his past injuries, Howie said the only thing left he could still do would be the hump move. Needless to say, not one person in studio was still thinking about football after that statement. The hump move is actually a name of a defensive move that Howie performed back in his Raider days. Could Howie be paid off in beads to hump? He didn’t understand the jest of the question or chose to ignore it and kept moving forward in the conversation. The last time Paulie stood up to a NFL player, Michael Strahan, during their Super Bowl week broadcasts he ended up cracking a rib and puncturing a lung. Good times. Will Paulie go for it again? Will Seton back away? Will McLovin wear Ellen Degeneres clothes if he stands up to Howie? Will Fritzy have his mind in the gutter as he watches? He wouldn’t go there would he?

Moody in the Man Cave

PLEASE! Send Dan his clubs

DP’s mood continues to decline the longer he has to wait for his new Callaway golf clubs and his patience is running low, especially with the poll question. The poll question really isn’t one of his favorite features but it’s something he wants to have for audience participation. He’s a bit fussy about the questions and today he didn’t like the question but it was put up on the website anyway. Well sort of. The wording of the poll question, submitted by Paulie, didn’t go on the website the way it was presented and the meaning of the question had changed. This of course made Dan mad because McLovin did his own interpretation and couldn’t understand how that changed things. Dan also didn’t like the debate that later ensued about how the meaning of the question had changed due to the wording. Whoever is at the top of the food chain at Callaway, please get Dan his clubs. The Danettes would appreciate it. Thanks

First Things First

Mia Sara left a
lasting memory

What types of things run through Dan’s mind at 6:45 in the morning? What’s the name of the female lead in Ferris Bueler’s Day Off? It took a phone call to Paulie to ease his mind. How did this come about? Serena Williams was beat by Sloan Stephens, Sloan Stephens leads to Sloan Peterson from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off equals hot chick memory.






DP a Hater? 

More than a pretty face?

Shae in Irving/MN/TX/Chicago called out DP for being a hater on Silver Linings Playbook. Whoa there deep voice. He wasn’t hatin’ on the film, just the last twenty minutes needed a boost. That and Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper didn’t deserve a five in the dance off. So what has made Shae so touchy about a movie? Shae is betting on the Oscars. He’s putting his money in the hands of the artistic mind. Doesn’t Shae know they don’t think like the sports minded or average Joe? Poor sucker.

Punches Hurt, Liquor Better Be Quicker and More

Story Time with Dan 

What happens when Fritzy doesn’t have a guest booked or they don’t call in? One of two things. Either Dan talks about the topics of the day or he tells stories. DP was clearly tired of the topic of the day, Lance Armstrong, and chose to tell stories. Dan is a great storyteller, even if you’ve heard the story before, you still listen intently just in case you missed something the first time you heard it. Occasionally Dan would refer to Paulie, the keeper of DP secrets and all things DP trivia. What a crack that Paulie remembers what happened to Dan better than Dan remembers what happened to himself. 

A Celebrity Beach Bowl without
DP wouldn't be the same.

It’s times like this where you sit back and think; man, I’d love to sit and have beer and wings with this guy. Ok, for me it wouldn’t be beer, it would be something else, but the wings would still happen for sure. I think that’s why so many of us make his show must watch/listen programming. And that then carries forward. When we learn that Dan will be on this talk show or that one, we make a point to watch because we want to know what story he’s going to tell. We tune in to Turning Point, FNIA, the Olympics or Celebrity Beach Bowl because there’s not only narrative but in person interactions with sports figures and celebrities that have us talking at the water cooler the next day; Did you hear this? Did you see that? That creates this question: Is DP doing the Celebrity Beach Bowl this year? I haven’t heard him do any promos and what runs on TV doesn’t promote anyone but Pitbull doing the after concert. Hmmm.

Who He Would if He Could 

No second chance interview

If Dan were asked to do the Armstrong interview he would wonder why he was the chosen one. Would it be because he considered soft and easily swayed or intimidated? Dan doesn’t have to worry about that happening anytime soon. If he could have had a do over with anyone he had previously interviewed it would have been Dale Earnhardt Sr. but that opportunity would never come again as Dale had his fatal accident two weeks later.

Forever Smiling Paulie

Don't look now, Paulie, you're forever smiling
on Sugar's thigh

Sugar has recovered from his accident and he’s sporting new ink.  It was revealed today that the new tat is Paulie.  The tat isn’t quite right.  McLovin said Paulie looked like Dwight D. Eisenhower but that’s not it.  In the tattoo Paulie is smiling and showing joy.  That’s rare Paulie, not normal Paulie.  That doesn’t mean it’s not a quality tattoo, because it is.  It’s just not the Paulie that we all know.  Leave it to Fritzy to go to pervyland.  He described watching someone in the shower with your likeness on their thigh as bizarre.  He said he would be flattered if Sugar had his likeness tattooed next but did he have to go there?  To a shower scene with another man?  He couldn’t just say he would feel bizarre seeing the tat, he had to see it in the shower? Seton would like to be the last of the Danettes to be inked, like in movie credits, and featuring … Seton.  Not shy of a tattoo needle, Dan suggested everyone get inked on the LA trip.  Seton and Two-a-Days were all in.  Fritzy and McLovin pass due to religious beliefs.  If Casey were going, he would do it, but what about Paulie?  Buzzzzz, bleed, buzzzzzz, bleed.

Liquor Better Be Quicker

If this was the image in your mind, could
you do a body shot off Fritzy?

Proud as a dad who witnessed birth and giving a little "take that Mothership!" attitude, Dan installed the Audible Ale tap today. Dad later became more like a big brother betting against Seton on the closest to the pin with the loser doing a body shot off of Fritzy. I was glad he repeated it because I couldn’t believe my ears the first time. Loser and furthest from the pin was Seton, even with Seton hittin’ it with the new Callaway driver and Dan needing surgery on his shoulder, Dan was still the better driver. Talk about bad images coming into your head. Really Dan? A body shot off of Fritzy! Hope he doesn’t hold Seton to that. It could scar the guy for life. 

The McReprimandWant to see McLovin get cut down a notch or two? Here’s how things started Tuesday morning, relived Wednesday morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZOxkwrDrTI&feature=youtu.be

DP Peeve

DP face just prior to cray cray mode.

Want to take a page out of Seton’s book of how to make DP nuts? If Dan makes a suggestive statement and appears to be trying to get you to go along and agree with his opinion, do what Seton does when he doesn’t agree. Say this: "Maybe, ok, sort of, I’m not going to say your wrong." Not giving your true opinion makes an opinionated person cray cray.

            Punches Hurt

Punches hurt except on Roenick's jaw

Dan knows that pain hurts. Not only physical pain but also the pain words can bring. Seton called Dan fat and so Dan is trying to eat better. When Casey confronted Dan about calling Fritzy the same thing that Seton called Dan, Dan admitted that he doesn’t always realize what he says. What goes around comes around and this was a punch to the gut in more ways than one.