Punches Hurt, Liquor Better Be Quicker and More

Story Time with Dan 

What happens when Fritzy doesn’t have a guest booked or they don’t call in? One of two things. Either Dan talks about the topics of the day or he tells stories. DP was clearly tired of the topic of the day, Lance Armstrong, and chose to tell stories. Dan is a great storyteller, even if you’ve heard the story before, you still listen intently just in case you missed something the first time you heard it. Occasionally Dan would refer to Paulie, the keeper of DP secrets and all things DP trivia. What a crack that Paulie remembers what happened to Dan better than Dan remembers what happened to himself. 

A Celebrity Beach Bowl without
DP wouldn't be the same.

It’s times like this where you sit back and think; man, I’d love to sit and have beer and wings with this guy. Ok, for me it wouldn’t be beer, it would be something else, but the wings would still happen for sure. I think that’s why so many of us make his show must watch/listen programming. And that then carries forward. When we learn that Dan will be on this talk show or that one, we make a point to watch because we want to know what story he’s going to tell. We tune in to Turning Point, FNIA, the Olympics or Celebrity Beach Bowl because there’s not only narrative but in person interactions with sports figures and celebrities that have us talking at the water cooler the next day; Did you hear this? Did you see that? That creates this question: Is DP doing the Celebrity Beach Bowl this year? I haven’t heard him do any promos and what runs on TV doesn’t promote anyone but Pitbull doing the after concert. Hmmm.

Who He Would if He Could 

No second chance interview

If Dan were asked to do the Armstrong interview he would wonder why he was the chosen one. Would it be because he considered soft and easily swayed or intimidated? Dan doesn’t have to worry about that happening anytime soon. If he could have had a do over with anyone he had previously interviewed it would have been Dale Earnhardt Sr. but that opportunity would never come again as Dale had his fatal accident two weeks later.

Forever Smiling Paulie

Don't look now, Paulie, you're forever smiling
on Sugar's thigh

Sugar has recovered from his accident and he’s sporting new ink.  It was revealed today that the new tat is Paulie.  The tat isn’t quite right.  McLovin said Paulie looked like Dwight D. Eisenhower but that’s not it.  In the tattoo Paulie is smiling and showing joy.  That’s rare Paulie, not normal Paulie.  That doesn’t mean it’s not a quality tattoo, because it is.  It’s just not the Paulie that we all know.  Leave it to Fritzy to go to pervyland.  He described watching someone in the shower with your likeness on their thigh as bizarre.  He said he would be flattered if Sugar had his likeness tattooed next but did he have to go there?  To a shower scene with another man?  He couldn’t just say he would feel bizarre seeing the tat, he had to see it in the shower? Seton would like to be the last of the Danettes to be inked, like in movie credits, and featuring … Seton.  Not shy of a tattoo needle, Dan suggested everyone get inked on the LA trip.  Seton and Two-a-Days were all in.  Fritzy and McLovin pass due to religious beliefs.  If Casey were going, he would do it, but what about Paulie?  Buzzzzz, bleed, buzzzzzz, bleed.

Liquor Better Be Quicker

If this was the image in your mind, could
you do a body shot off Fritzy?

Proud as a dad who witnessed birth and giving a little "take that Mothership!" attitude, Dan installed the Audible Ale tap today. Dad later became more like a big brother betting against Seton on the closest to the pin with the loser doing a body shot off of Fritzy. I was glad he repeated it because I couldn’t believe my ears the first time. Loser and furthest from the pin was Seton, even with Seton hittin’ it with the new Callaway driver and Dan needing surgery on his shoulder, Dan was still the better driver. Talk about bad images coming into your head. Really Dan? A body shot off of Fritzy! Hope he doesn’t hold Seton to that. It could scar the guy for life. 

The McReprimandWant to see McLovin get cut down a notch or two? Here’s how things started Tuesday morning, relived Wednesday morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZOxkwrDrTI&feature=youtu.be

DP Peeve

DP face just prior to cray cray mode.

Want to take a page out of Seton’s book of how to make DP nuts? If Dan makes a suggestive statement and appears to be trying to get you to go along and agree with his opinion, do what Seton does when he doesn’t agree. Say this: "Maybe, ok, sort of, I’m not going to say your wrong." Not giving your true opinion makes an opinionated person cray cray.

            Punches Hurt

Punches hurt except on Roenick's jaw

Dan knows that pain hurts. Not only physical pain but also the pain words can bring. Seton called Dan fat and so Dan is trying to eat better. When Casey confronted Dan about calling Fritzy the same thing that Seton called Dan, Dan admitted that he doesn’t always realize what he says. What goes around comes around and this was a punch to the gut in more ways than one.