Showing Colors, Loves Him Some Rubio, LVD Becoming a Reality

Showing Colors 

So long Pats, hello Broncos

Fritzy was in the words of Phil from Duck Dynasty, “Happy Happy Happy” today.  When the news of Wes Welker going from the Patriots to the Broncos hit, Fritzy was surely celebrating in his zubaz pants.  Choosing which Bronco items to wear and what to leave home must have been pleasurable torture.  How much was too little, what was too much.  Visions of a Super Bowl trophy, shiny and bright, must have been a highlight in Todd’s dreams Wednesday night.  Fritzy in a happy mood makes Seton nuts.  The cooing over the phone with Rich Eisen, from the NFL Network, was just too sugary sweet.  The papal mock headlines were good throughout but the shamrock shake PSA was a colossal fail.  He was even, should I dare say it, a little cocky, getting up during break and standing in one of DP and Seton’s break talks.  Before long Seton will have his chance to be sickening too with all of his Yankee play of the day clips and Jeter references.   Soon Seton, soon, your day will be here.

Loves Him Some Rubio 

Getting props from Mannix long time

Occasional guest host, Chris Mannix of SI, called in Thursday as Chris in New York to berate DP for not giving Ricky Rubio of the Timberwolves, what Chris felt, was some much deserved love.  You could almost get a clear visual of Mannix sitting on the edge of his chair, red faced, hair standing straight up and hands waving as Chris’ voice raised trying to make his points to DP.  Well, at least Rubio has one fan that refuses to give up, even though he can’t shoot.  Yes Chris, we know, he can still learn to shoot. 

LVD Becoming a Reality 

Who will be the shining LVD star for March?

The least valuable Danette award is getting closer to becoming a reality.  The crystal star award was revealed along with its monthly award status.  Up in the air was the value of voting.  Would fans be allowed to vote? It would help to have an outside opinion away from the behind the scenes office politics. What weight would their vote have?  Would the Danettes be comfortable voting, especially if it was a public vote?  The only one who said they would not was Fritzy, so by majority rule, the Danettes get to vote too.  The award is not retro fitted so the first LVD will be for the month of March.  Only 17 days and counting.  Get your stupid on boys!

69 89 86, Is Your Poll Up, Salty Great One, Do You Feel the Heat + More

69, 89, 86, It’s Not All the Same 

I 86'd you man not that other thing!

When using numbers in analogies, sometimes it’s important to use the right ones.  Just ask Charles Barkley.  Since Tiger Woods won this weekend, Dan had inquired if Barkley was still in touch with Tiger and congratulated him since DP knew Charles and Tiger were tight at one time.  What Barkley meant to say was that Tiger had eighty-sixed the relationship.  What came out as Barkley fumbled for the right thing to say was Tiger had sixty-nined the relationship.  Quite a difference in what those numbers mean.  DP even turned a bit red as he corrected the big man.  Must wonder where Fritzy’s mind went when he heard those words.

Broke Back Mountain Isn’t About an Injury 

Doug, this is not the beginning
 of a sleeper hold

While 69, 89 and 86 aren’t the same, Broke Back Mountain and a movie about injuries aren’t the same either. Dear Doug Glanville - know your references!  Yankee fans must have been choking on something when they first heard this.  Just like Pride of the Yankees wasn’t about what lies beneath the jock strap, Broke Back Mountain doesn’t apply to injury-ridden players.







Is Your Poll Up?

Strong Poll?

Over and over again the poll question is an area of agitation for Dan.  Either there isn’t a question or he doesn’t like the question.  It doesn’t matter if the question comes from McLovin, another Danette, or the audience.  Nothing really satisfies Dan.  So what if there was no poll question.  Back in the ESPN days DP got rid of the poll question.  The show seemed to survive without it.  Let’s face it, even at Dan’s age, he wants a strong poll.  Is the poll question such a vital part of the show that it would make a difference to the audience tuning in or not?  Would McLovin’s pay actually be less if there were not poll question?  If McLovin’s most important role was the poll question, would he still have a job?  The audience at one point was going to be able to vote on if there should still be a poll question but that never happened.  The question still hangs; Should your poll be up or hang low?  Oh yeah, way in on the pole isn’t the same as weigh in on the poll either. 

Salty Great One

No salt for you!

Story time with the great one, Wayne Gretzy: While having dinner with Charles Barkley in Barkley’s home, Barkley’s wife said: “Great One, pass me the salt.”  As Gretzy thought the reference was to him, he reached across the table for the salt only to have Barkley intercept him and say:  “I’m the only great one in this house.”  Wonder if in that house they prefer the poll to hang low or be up?






Do You Feel the Heat?

DP's the flame, Fritzy's pan is trying to stay away

Fritzy wants to be more, do more.  He wants a title and responsibilities of a Coordinating Producer, not just a Booker.  DP is trying to get him there, but let’s face it, patient mentor Dan is not.  Fritzy is learning to connect guests and story lines together but until he feels comfortable with that he falls back on taking credit for the number or names of guests that are scheduled.  As Dan says, it’s just a name on the page or chalkboard, it’s what DP does with the guest in the interview that makes the difference.  So in a take on booking scared, Fritzy was tweeting scared last night posting almost the same tweet three times in seven minutes.  It’s burning down there and it’s not from an STD. 

If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all

Hello y’all – So I’m sitting in front of the TV, diet soda on one side, cat in my lap, dogs at my side and my feet wanting to eat what’s on my plate but I’m ready to go.

From today’s edition: The show comes to you from the Milford, CT man cave on Tuesday through Friday. The DIY network Man Caves show with Tony Siragusa and Jason Cameron originally created the man cave. The décor has grown by leaps and bounds but the bones of the renovation are still there. The traditional theme music is played with different city scenes featuring Dan and his 2012 Dodge Ram Truck on the streets around Milford in either day or night. The exploration of what’s new or what’s been moved or changed in the man cave since the last show is always a hunt. Many times Dan reveals an addition during the show or on a look in, but not always. Today Dan showed the Sony Watchman that a viewer sent in. He reminded viewers that he appreciates receiving things that mean something to someone but there’s no guarantee he would ever be able to get it back to you if you wanted it back. Also, please don’t send anymore food. Is someone gaining pre-holiday weight? Take your time and look around the man cave. Is there something that caught your eye? Does a pumpkin need to be orange to really be a pumpkin? If it’s white, is it a gourd?

The DIY Man Caves when finished with the man cave

The pre-show run down:
These guys love movies. Not just your action flicks but pop culture movies as well. During the topic the too snappy dialog and too many off the cuff speeches used in movies like Breakfast Club, Easy A and Newsroom were determined unrealistic. Movies need to have real life dialog like they have on this show where after something smart is said you get a dumb, slow, bad line retort and an atmosphere of tension, competitiveness and back stabbing.

The video open:
Reminded us of the back sliding and comeback of the back row yesterday – Back Row Backslide: Fritzy blowing a tease, McLovin throwing the football out of control then running a lap where you see him doing the lap carrying the football in the parking lot across the street from the studio, where Dan parks his truck, and waiting for traffic to clear to come back across. He has some of the goofiest running in place I’ve seen. This is just one of the shows bizarre ways of justice, running laps. As Dan has said, they can hurt each other, just don’t hurt my flat screen. But when does someone retaliate and it’s no longer funny? The Back Row Comeback: McLovin had a great line – If Mike Trout eats the trout fish, is that cannibalism? This resulted in a walk off, fist pump and umbrella swing for the bleachers in the green room. Mike and his fish are seen below.

Mike Trout and his fish



The audio open:This is a mix with various sound effects and bits and pieces from previous interviews worked into a hook that keeps you listening while the members of the broadcast are introduced. It was much of the same as the video open with the addition of Donnie in VA nominating Paulie for MVD (most valuable Danette) because he’s always thinking about what’s best for the show and Seton’s retaliated with a fake hang up on the caller.

The poll of the day:A Seton special: Who has a better (personal) thing going? Justin Verlander or Barry Zito? Dan felt it was a lame question and went for Zito – quantity over quality although the audience went the opposite direction. Pretty sure the Mothership won’t steal that question for their own broadcasts. The poll question was then replaced with: What is your favorite white guy cliche?, Another question that ESPN will probably pass on as well since they are guilty of using those clichés.

Justin Verlander and Kate Upton

Play of the Day:
Seton played yet another Yankees highlight with John Sterling to take a look back since there wasn’t really anything on last night. Come on Seton, weak sauce. Take it like a man. Your team is out, Tigers are in. Hope you have your preparations complete for paying off your bet next week.

John Sterling, New York Yankees announcer

I Team Report: Six blocks away from the studio a major motion picture is being filmed: After The Fall. Paulie snuck over to the set to sneak a peek and was kicked out.

"The Box" (The show confessional done at the top of the second and third hour):
As Paulie was going into the box the question of sending Fritzy over to the movie set to check out the actresses was presented. Wouldn’t that be a disaster in so many ways.

Look Ins:
Dan will be on the Jimmy Fallon show on Thursday. Why? This is what his son asked and no one else knows why either. Surprised by the booking, is this because of the big announcement coming up? Who will he be guesting with? What will he be doing? Fallon is known for having his guests do crazy things. Dan isn’t good at beer pong and Jimmy is too good with his musical imitations to do anything musical either. On the side: Jimmy was in London for the Olympics and Dan thought after meeting him he was younger and taller than he seems on TV. The other guest will be Julianne Margulies, a name Dan sometimes has problems pronouncing. Could the booking on Fallon be a set up? Yesterday this was a back row buzz kill by Fritzy. Fritzy took a couple of big hits yesterday with a mock show title of Good Strife versus Good Wife, and also his suggestion that Dan and Julianne reenact a scene from ER with Julianne giving Dan mouth to mouth – creepy. Dan brought up his upcoming appearance in the broadcast, as he does much of the look in conversations.

Jimmy Fallon thinking of things for Dan to do Thursday

Andrew "McLovin" Perloff:
McLovin really showed his stuff today with his evaluation of first year mobile quarterbacks in their second year performance earning the praise from Dan he always craves.

Dan Patrick:
Tim McCarver was on the show and Dan was able to give his compliment from yesterday regarding McCarver’s call of the third inning in game seven of the NLCS. After the compliment Dan was fishing for one of his own: "Now you say something nice about me." Somehow Dan thought he was in a mutual admiration society of broadcasters – "Come on, give me a carrot!"

Joe Buck and Tim McCarver

Todd "Fritzy" Fritz:
Fritzy was also in the box today. Dan’s a little disappointed. It’s the least involved Fritzy’s been in the show in maybe a year. The subject matter had been pretty serious and Fritzy wanted to be careful in what he said. Dan admonishes him because he would mean he would need to do some work to find his way into the conversation. It’s not as easy to do that with serious subject matter as it is to make a mock headline or email pictures of women to Dan. Fritzy took offense to Dan taking a shot at him, and admitted it’s been hard to find the right groove to weigh in on the conversation because there’s no comedic inlet. Fritzy misses the levity from yesterday so its back to the drawing board to be able to contribute to the broadcast. Fritzy only continued to dig his hole deeper on this subject during The Box Score. Oh, Fritzy. You’re smarter than that.

Mock Headlines:
Wayne in WA called one in, ok in its effort. Sven from CA called in three – two solid hits and one ok effort.

Additional show nugget:
Red Hook update: After the show the gang must continue to sample more beer today. Such an arduous task. "Gotta drink beer today guys!"

It’s not just your regular sport show: True or False –
In high school, the football coach was going to take the All American quarterback on the team and make him a receiver so Dan could play quarterback, but Dan decided not to play because he didn’t like the act of being tackled.

The Box Score Tally (BST):
I wonder if Casey Geraghty, who’s like the nosey neighborhood kid, is leaving the show after being it’s host for the first year. Each day this week there has been a slight made that may indicate that this may be happening. No official announcement has been made, I think. If so, Casey, I wish you all the best in your new direction, but what will become of Dr. Von Beardy? I can only hope my deductions are wrong.

Further BST:
Regular caller, Chris in Syracuse asked about slow sports days and if the wives have something for Danettes to do when this happens. Paulie’s wife, Dana, has learned how to read the college football rankings and will question when Paulie is watching a lesser game. Seton’s wife, Erin, is giving him a little post season baseball flack for still watching baseball since his Yankees and her Red Sox are out of contention. McLovin’s wife, Sara, just wants him to turn off Gossip Girl so she can watch some college football. Sad.

Box Score I Team Report:
Was it McLovin getting the granola out of the back of his teeth? Something Seton did? No! It was Fritzy eating lunch on McLovin’s side of the desk! Not a lot of room over there with the notebook, phone, keyboard, Blackberry and all. "I’m neat, I clean up after myself" Fritzy said in defense. Would it be acceptable to you if your coworker ate their food at your desk while you were away?

So, what did you learn today?