A Man's Bathroom is His Castle and More

We Love NYC

An Empty NYC Studio waiting
 for Dan, Danettes & guests

Why do we love NYC? As Jeff in Detroit reminded us, that’s where the show is able to get in studio guests more easily. Dan brings out the best of a guest when they’re face to face in studio. It’s difficult to get people to come to Milford, so the NYC man cave has been a real gem. Milford seems like such a homey town on TV. Who wouldn't want to visit there? Apparently, anyone who is a celebrity. Dan is only a week out of a six month, six to seven day workweek thanks to the NFL season and his work with NBC, not that he’s complaining. We’re not asking Dan to work extra days to get in studio guests, just utilize the NYC studio more often during the NFL off-season to get more in studio guests.

Thoughts and Prayers

Hit hard all day long

Thoughts and prayers go out to Stuart Scott from ESPN who announced that he is battling stomach cancer. This is his third fight and we are behind him to win this one too.  In 2007 it was found that he had cancer of the appendix when he had an appendectomy.  In 2011 he fought against small intestinal cancer.  








Past Armstrong Moment
Dan’s favorite Lance Armstrong moment was while doing the commercial for ESPN with Lance powering the ESPN building while riding his bike. Dan used mind games with Lance during the filming to bring the most out of him. They were only given a 30 minute window to shoot and they shot the commercial in New York. Lance wanted to know how he was stacking up against the other athletes that had come in and done commercials for the network. Dan boasted about the other sports stars to use Lance’s competitiveness to get the job done in the short time they had and get the best results. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmzeKNiMkAs

　
Fans v. Fritzy

The shadow of disappointment over
his shoulder

Topic revealed for the next face off is Lance Armstrong. The show down will be either Thursday or Friday. That’s plenty of time for Paulie to collect responses from the audience, but will it be too long for Fritzy’s head to second guess his initial ideas? Fritzy’s already going on the defense by saying this has become a nation versus one man. Ah, Fritzy, the nation responded quickly to that statement. It’s two men (Fritzy and his brother the writer) versus a nation. Come on creative word turners out there, send in your best shots!

California Trip Update
Dan announced today that in approximately a month, Dan and the Danettes would be making an appearance TBA in California. In addition to the Danettes, Two-a-Days will be there too. Are they sure they want to bring him along? They might not get him back…Hollywood!

http://instagram.com/p/UZq0_lIfS2/

  Hurt Feelings and Finger 

Momento from the future 2013
summer intern?

Special FedEx delivery yesterday while Dan and the boys were having beer and wings. Some times special deliveries become less special when someone spoils what could have been a surprise for everyone. As Dan was opening the FedEx envelope, Seton leaned over and caught a glimpse and remarked – you got a script. Dan loves a surprise and Seton spoiled Dan’s surprise. To add injury to insult, when Dan was handling the envelope this morning, he got a nice, deep, bloody paper cut. Well, it wasn’t the script Seton was thinking. It wasn't possibly a role in an upcoming Sandler movie. It was another script. In the FedEx envelope was a copy of the script for the 100^th episode of The Big Bang Theory that was signed by the cast with a couple of messages from Jim Parsons. 1. Next to the word Bang on the cover, Jim wrote in biscuit to make the phrase "Bang Biscuit!" 2. Message on the cover for McLovin – Thank you for letting me intern. I’ll be back some day McLovin. 3. Message to Dan – It was the most fun he had in 2012 and hopes to see them in 2013. Be afraid McLovin. Be very afraid.

      A Man’s Bathroom is His Castle

No positive thoughts behind the bathroom
door today

Dan doesn’t have many rules, but one of his rules is you don’t use his bathroom without his case by case consent. This morning Dan found a cup of Starbucks coffee in his bathroom. Dan doesn’t drink Starbucks coffee. He drinks Starbucks vente skim chai. McLovin drinks coffee and it helps him make it during his drive home from the studio to Brooklyn. A bathroom stop before the ride home was needed but the hall bathroom was unavailable, so he used Dan’s bathroom instead. McLovin was caught this morning by leaving evidence that he had been there and had no choice to go against his natural instincts of lying. He knew there would be the WOP or possibly worse if he did. Would his being honest this morning change his questioned morals or poor work ethic in the future? No. Dan knocked him down a notch saying McLovin isn’t like the original three Danettes, they respect Dan’s rules. To McLovin every things a game, and as Seton would say, his apology was weak sauce. Did McLovin receive the message? Probably not. Will Dan need to do a bathroom lock out? We’ll just have to wait and see.




　

Believe in your smell homo erotic pornament inside job

Inside Job
Did you catch The Insider last night with DP Show friend, Kevin Frasier? Did you notice who the second most featured face to Jim Parsons was on screen? It was the person who broached The Insider production team and told them what angle they should be filming Jim Parsons. That person was none other than Mr. Andrew "McLovin" Perloff. The person who can not keep up with the direction of the show he does five days a week was trying to direct a cameraman from another show. Those other people McLovin works with? Oh, those are tech people that usually work in the back. Really??? Too bad he didn’t come up with a better way to display himself, such as his jealousy towards the visiting Danette for the day. Paulie received criticism from the home front, close friends and family, who saw The Insider segment. They thought Dan and the Danettes were good on TV and should be on TV often. So some of them aren’t sports fans, but Paulie’s still your friend or family member, tune in once in awhile and see what he does! It’s only live 15 hours a week, replayed in full 15 hours a week, available in condensed version 10 hours a week and has a follow up show that is live five times a week and replayed five times a week. P.S. This show, if you haven’t been told before, is more than sports.

Former Mothershipper KFraz

Believe In Your Smell

Green Bay Packers, Greg Jennings, will take whatever Old Spice has coming as long as they’ll have him. He remarked that the advertising team is so fun and creative. They’ll throw one thing at you, if they don’t think it’s good enough they’ll toss in something else. Hey! Let’s do push-ups on the beach with a Jet Ski on your back and a hot model riding the Jet Ski! Yeah! Good thing Greg’s Santa, his wife, doesn’t mind. Greg knows who’s the boss. It’s not the quarterback, Aaron Rogers, choosing who to throw to, it’s the woman who shares his home and bed. Smart decision Jennings. I believe you’re smellin’ good.

Good thing this didn't slow Jennings down

MVD To Be Awarded Friday
Dan’s mom will be in studio on Friday and present the MVD, most valuable Danette for 2012. We love it when Dan’s mom visits and the Danettes ask her questions about Dan growing up. When it was announced that she was coming Seton’s eyes got big and a smile grew on his face. It’s a sure thing Seton will have at least one question to throw her way. New this year will be a second award, Comeback Danette 2012. This will be given to the Danette who came back from a not as stellar 2011. This person can be the same person who gets the MVD or it can be someone else. The wheels are turning, the plotting is occurring, can one of the Danettes pull off a last minute act of greatness to change Dan’s mind in either or both categories before Friday? Dan has said that the come back award could be considered a participatory award and that it has something to do with the back row and right. But who’s right? Dan’s or the back row? Does that mean the award goes to that person in the back row or that they were just involved in the person who is getting the award in getting it? Does McLovin regret not being more creative and inspiring in his poll questions with these honors coming in just a couple of days? Should Fritzy not have reused some of his mock headlines? Friday can’t come soon enough.

DP's mom doesn't need a dog to join this group

Homo Erotica and Pornaments
Picking up on an idea stemmed by Paulie, Fritzy may have a branch business, pornaments. With Fritzy’s twisted, runaway fantasy imagination and porno viewing experience this could be his break out moment. He was jotting down ideas as they were coming to him before the show was out. There was a viewer sent ornament that McLovin picked out today that was Dan Vader, a take on Darth Vader from the Star Wars series. On the ornament McLovin is dressed as Princess Leia on the ground holding onto Dan’s leg. Freud line 1, Freud line 1. Add to that tomorrow Dan will be brining in at McLovin, or supposedly McLovin wife’s, request the candy cane stripe tie that Dan wore on FNIA Sunday and will also be wearing today at the taping of Turning Point for NBCSN. Is McLovin holiday lovin role playing on the way or is there really a holiday party McLovin will be wearing this tie to? Throw in that McLovin is still using Dan’s shower at the man cave daily and not using his own towel…. creepy. Plus, what’s all this kissing Dan’s boo boo and making it feel better stuff?

This would be Sigmunds look after 5 minutes with the Danettes

Could Have, Would Have, Should Have
There was a bit of an emotional bruise that Fritzy shared in his box appearance today. He now had wished that Jim Parsons had ventured into his mock headline territory. Parsons had done a little of what the other Danettes had done but not Fritzy’s areas. The other Danettes were able to coach and take pride in Jim’s performance of the areas that they gave up to him. Fritzy doesn’t have warm and fuzzy feeling today. Inside he’s left a little empty. Whether it was territorial or possibly time constraints, Fritzy will probably step up and hand over a few mock headlines to the next visiting Danette for the day before the others take advantage of that opportunity again. By the way Fritzy, bravo on your mock headline come back today.

Who will be the next Danette for the day?

Remembering Grown UpsJim Boeheim, the Syracuse Basketball Head Coach, had made use of the media coverage of his 900^th win to express his views on gun control in the wake of what had happened at SHES. Before his appearance on the show today to discuss the win and using the media pulpit, Dan had expressed an opinion of his own. It wasn’t about gun control, it was about teachers. The teachers who have and practice those things to try to keep the children in their care in the schools safe. Naturally much of the focus has been on the children who had died in this tragedy but Dan wanted to also remember the teachers that lost their lives trying to protect those children. After that Dan had the relief of being able to go to commercial to regroup.

Missing a Semi-Final Game

Missing a Semi-Final Game
Monday was one of those days, and nights. One of those times when circumstances took what would have been the normal ability to view or listen to The Dan Patrick Show, and took most of that away, for just one day. In relationship to the events that have affected us all, in one way or another, from Newtown, CT, this was quite minor. But what I realize now, that I hadn’t before, is that this show was a form of escape from the seriousness of the every day world we live in.

DP Show shows respect to Sandy Hook Elementary School victims

I was so looking forward to this day’s broadcast. I considered it a special event, somewhat like a semi-final playoff game. Making contact with the show, whether by ear or eye, was too few and far between. When able to listen, or catch a glimpse of the show, I was gathering small three to five minute pieces of a large three hour puzzle and trying to put them all together. So frustrating. By the late, late evening I was finally able to grasp at larger segments of what had been, but was so tired that comprehension in putting the bigger picture together was a mental skill that was lacking. Why didn’t I anticipate that there could have been the slightest possibility that this could have occurred and recorded the show? This would not have been one of those days when I was snowed in, had a dead battery or a flat tire with a bad spare or even needed to have a bathroom available and near by. Nope, it had to be one of the busiest and inconvenient days.

Dan always says, make every show the Super Bowl. Dan’s Super Bowl will be the final show where we hope to learn all those things he and Paulie have told us they can’t tell us until then. So that would make this particular show a semi-final play off game. What made the airing of Monday’s show so special? There was a well known celebrity, who considered himself an everyday fan of the show, who was going to be able to come to the studio in NYC and be a Danette, if only for just a little while. Something that as fans of the show, all of us would embrace. What made this celebrity, Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory, more connectable was a little insight as to who he was prior to him joining Dan and the Danettes and that his physical appearance helped us visualize the guy next door or maybe ourselves. He wasn’t a pretty boy or possessing a physical talent that the every day man, or woman, couldn’t obtain. He’s relatable. He’s a guy that could be mistaken for any other guy, especially a geeky city or mid-western guy.

Jim Parsons, every man
Plaid flannel and a t shirt, the Danette winter uniform

He told his story on Jay Leno of his love of football, joining a fantasy football league, and his morning escape while getting ready to do his job, the escape being The Dan Patrick Show. The way he spoke about his sincere desire to be an unpaid intern for a day and what that would mean to him made so many of us say to ourselves, yeah me too! The joy and enthusiasm expressed in his face, body language and voice when Leno reminded him that Dan was part of the NBC family and maybe there was something that could be done was worthy of watching and hearing more than once. Parsons reacted the same way that the rest of us would to such news. It was almost as if it was Christmas morning for a small child.

From the bits and pieces that I was able to put together, Parsons slid into the chair mid-back row and fit right in with the group just as we hope we would. He took a stab at twitter, against the grain, stat of the day, five good seconds and a box appearance. Quite noticeable was no attempt at cougar of the week or mock headlines. Possibly his awareness of Fritzy’s possessiveness of this territory and high sensitivity level was front and center. Because this was the NYC man cave, Parsons was able to leave a photo booth remembrance of his visit. Parsons was as smooth Monday as we would hope we would be able to be in the same situation. Parsons’ one mistake, in his excitement in packing to come to the show he left his contribution for the Milford man cave in California, a script signed by the cast of his show.


Merry Christmas Jim Parson. Hope this was all you thought it would be, and maybe more. I don’t know how eventful and exciting Jim Parsons’ life truly is, but I hope, from a DP Show fan’s perspective, that Monday’s experience ranked up there in his top ten experiences as this would have been in most of our top three.

It's not the foreground that's interesting,
it's the jealous background that is.

Wheel! Of! Punishment!, Doggie Bag, Home Depot Helper

Home Depot Helper
Dan did a live read for the Home Depot Gift Center. Of the options there are: Weekender, Sports Fan, Decorator, Entertainer, Outdoor Enthusiast and Do It Yourselfer. Dan didn’t quite get it right for the gift package assignments for the Danettes. Maybe these choices would work better:

The Entertainer for Paulie - college campus food truck survival items: finger wipes, antacids, bib

The Sports Fan for Seton - all Yankees gear for the off season: Jeter skull cap, Jeter gloves, Jeter scarf

The Weekender for McLovin – come visit me basket: baby wipes, Mr. Mom manuals and a picture of DP

The Do It Yourselfer for Fritzy – Mountain Dew, Chinese food gift card and those special items needed while watching Cinemax

More wipes, gloves and lubricants

Doggie Bag From SI Sportsman Award
Dan was the on stage interviewer for LeBron James at the Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year Award Show. Prior to going on stage he and LeBron shook hands just after Lebron had applied moisturizer and still had a gob of it on his hand. To get rid of it, Dan did a bro pat/hug on LeBron’s back to try to get rid of it. Shortly after that Dan shook Coach Krzyzewski (how do you get sha-sheh-ski out of those letters?) hand who must have wondered if Dan’s hand was so moist and clammy from pre-show nerves. Coach K did ask who wrote Dan’s questions for him because they were so good. Our DP doesn’t need a writer! Although he had index cards in his hands, from what was shown, he didn’t use them.

Cards in hand but not needed

Last bite:
Lebron has a photo shopped pic of him guarding Michael Jordan as his phone’s screen saver. Think Jordan would still have scored?

Poor Paulie
We were reminded in the open that Dan has a new goal: for Paulie to have fun in the show. Real, gut busting fun. Paulie’s fun is watching other people have fun and saying "That’s funny." He just can’t enjoy himself on the show. Who says that’s funny instead of laughing if they’re having fun? Now the sound effects that Paulie did to Seton’s dorm room story….that’s funny. We did see Paulie do Seton’s leg bouncing, thigh slapping move trying to release the joy. Did it work? TBD

Sad and serious, can Paulie ever enjoy the DP Show experience?

Stat Timing
Stat of the Day is not as easy as it looks, hitting the post and getting in all your stat info. Dan tried to do a stat of the day but tangled the timing of the stat with the stat theme music. He was given a mulligan and did it again later in the show without music and was…ok. It just lacked the drama that it could have had if it was done to the music right the first time. Maybe they should have rehearsed. NEVER! Better to leave SOTD to the amateurs.

I have more words to say and here comes the post....
Dang! Missed it!

Wheel! Of! Punishment!
McLovin’s look at the beginning of the show was rough. He had a Bill Hader’s Stephon look and during his box appearance tried to mimic the mannerisms. Maybe he was going for the Edward from the Twilight series look. Either way, both characters have a creep factor to them. After the first break in the second hour his hair was fully dried and normal again. Must have used Dan’s shower today. So how did the wheel spin turn out? He can not cut or dye his hair until the NFL draft, which is April 26-28. He’ll be looking a little Rob Ryan-esk by that time. Possibly we’ll be getting a wheel of punishment theme song from Oderus, full name Oderus Urungus, from Gwar to go with the skull and cross bones on the wheel’s center.

Will McLovin comply with the Wheel Of Punishment?

Programming Note:
December 17^th, Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory is expected to be in the NYC man cave for the day.

"DP Shut the Hell Up", How much is that doggie in the window

It’s always a bad hair day for McLovin
Today was McLovin’s hair reveal.  It wasn’t that big of a reveal and then the baseball cap went back on with McLovin not only complaining about the quality of his hair paint but the shortness of his hair as well.  Why cut and paint your hair and then not want to show it for six weeks?  Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the process?  This has happened twice now in four months.  McLovin's wife is tired of him talking about his hair and thinks he’s become self-centered.  McLovin, listen to your wife, she’s right.

It could be worse McLovin,
your hair could look like this

How much fun do you have at someone else’s expense on national TV?
A portion of Cris Collinsworth appearance was spent defending and clarifying what he said during Sunday night’s game.  Was Collinsworth out of line with his comments during the Jet’s minuteman display of the Keystone Kops?  If you execute that badly three plays in a row in less than one minute of play, what do you expect?  Stop being so sensitive and pull up your big boy pants.  Cris is being paid by NBC for his opinions, not to hold the hands of a floundering team and say that’s ok, everything will be alright, hand them a lollipop and send them on their merry way.

Now I'll go left, wait you go left, then I'll go back
and you go back then right, right?

Even a Marconi winner can have a bad set
For about six seconds during the halftime show Sunday, Dan didn’t realize he was on air.  His earpiece that sends him communication from the production booth stopped working and he didn’t realize it. Bob Costas had thrown the telecast to Dan and he just sat there enjoying what was happening around him.  Tony was looking panicked at Dan and a production person was waving their hand at the camera before Dan was able to figure out what was going on. Whoopsie!

Wow the lights look pretty at night

“DP, shut the hell up.”  
DP challenged Shaq to a free throw contest during Shaq's interview.  At stake: one of the cars Shaq sells to one of the Ram trucks Dan promotes.  How’s your show Shaq?  The answer to that question is that Shaq wouldn’t commit to the bet.  Time to buy a dog.

Don't be fooled,  all show - no go

How much is that doggie in the window?
How worried was McLovin about Jim Parson’s appearance?  Worried enough that he was begging and pleading during his box appearance for Parsons to please pick another Danette to be replaced when he visits other than him. He’s had problems with the poll question, his wife is down on him, just nothing is going right.  He asked Parsons to throw him a bone Must be he's thinking of getting a dog because he too, needs to buy a dog.

See my pretty white teeth?

Side note:
If you are considering pet ownership – Don’t shop adopt.  There are millions of wonderful homeless pets waiting for forever homes in shelters and rescues across the country just waiting for a loving, committed home.  A good resource for available pets for adoption through rescues and shelters is Petfinder.com where not only dogs and cats in your area are listed, but other species as well.

Visit www.Petfinder.com today!

Finally the time had come
Jim Parsons calls in during the final hour and after he compliments the back row they both take a big sigh of relief that neither of them are in danger if Parsons comes to the man cave.  Who does Jim think he could substitute for?  Two-a-Days! Two invites were given to Parsons: If you’re ever in NY on a Monday he can come to the NYC man cave.  They other is if his Texans make it to the Super Bowl he can come on set while the boys are there covering the week's activities.  What was he most excited about?  “OMG Swag!” that is coming his way. Such a lovable nerd.

Watch out Two-a-Days! Parsons is coming!

What we learned today
That the voting for the 2012 MVD (Most Valuable Danette) may have already closed and this year’s winner has already been decided.  Let the squirming in the Herman Miller mesh swivel chairs begin.

Whose butt sits in the
2012 MVD chair?