Sharper than Sharpe, Wearing a Little Thin & More

From 01-21-13

How Do They Do It?

DP gets fired up with SOTD

DP is getting older, yes it’s true. He still appreciates a good head bang but wonders how the heavy metal bands do it every night for an hour or more. Dan was screaming along with the SOTD intro, which put Seton into head down, giggle mode. By the end of the short intro he was nearly all rocked out and red faced jetting up out of his chair and fist pumping. Getting old is a…

Sharper than Sharpe

So Sterling Sharpe was upset with Bill Belichick because he didn’t stop and talk to Steve Tasker from CBS. Was this really what was bothering him or did Sterling need to come up with something for post-game face time. What was better than what Sterling said on air was Fritzy imitating Sterling Sharpe because he didn’t think Seton had audio, which he did. Now if Sterling had said the things that Fritzy had in his imitation, that would have been more interesting TV. Even if Belichick had stopped and talked to Tasker, would he have said anything noteworthy? This is a low, soft talking, mumbler we’re talking about after all. After listening to his post-game presser, there was nothing to be gained.  Unitl it was pointed out to you, did you notice?  Did you care?

Bronze Linings Playbook

DP agrees JL was Golden Globes worthy

Short and sweet - Dan’s movie review of Silver Linings Playbook: It started out as an A+ that sloped to a B- by the end of the movie because they lost the momentum they had in the beginning on the subject matter for the storyline by the half to three quarter mark of the movie.  Great performances by all the actors it just needed a little help with the script to make it a really good movie. 

DP Viewing Alert

Dan will be part of the pre-game and half time telecast of the Pro Bowl on NBC, Will he get a chance to ask a player – do you really want to be here? What was in your gift bag? You can catch the Pro Bowl on NBC Sunday, January 27^th, beginning at 7 pm. Dan will be interviewing Joe Flacco and Collin Kaepernick from the New Orleans man cave to air during half time of the Pro Bowl. Will a Danette photo bomb the interview and make it to prime time network air? Must see TV.

Wearing a Little Thin

Have mock headlines frayed too far?

So what is it that is wearing a little thin with mock headlines? Mock headlines themselves? Quality submissions by Fritzy? Quality subject matter for the headlines? Frequency? Repetitive headlines? The number of headlines? Would three really good ones be better than twelve headlines of which there are nine crickets and three really good ones? It can’t be fans versus Fritzy. That’s only been done three times and done well. Whatever you choose, maybe a break is needed to freshen this up again. Five good seconds isn’t a daily feature. Either is ATG. SOTD is a shared effort. Fritzy asks for the abuse he gets and is then a poor sport in defeat with his bitter, sullen attitude. Maybe a little mock vaca to reboot the mock batteries is just what this segment needs.

A Man's Bathroom is His Castle and More

We Love NYC

An Empty NYC Studio waiting
 for Dan, Danettes & guests

Why do we love NYC? As Jeff in Detroit reminded us, that’s where the show is able to get in studio guests more easily. Dan brings out the best of a guest when they’re face to face in studio. It’s difficult to get people to come to Milford, so the NYC man cave has been a real gem. Milford seems like such a homey town on TV. Who wouldn't want to visit there? Apparently, anyone who is a celebrity. Dan is only a week out of a six month, six to seven day workweek thanks to the NFL season and his work with NBC, not that he’s complaining. We’re not asking Dan to work extra days to get in studio guests, just utilize the NYC studio more often during the NFL off-season to get more in studio guests.

Thoughts and Prayers

Hit hard all day long

Thoughts and prayers go out to Stuart Scott from ESPN who announced that he is battling stomach cancer. This is his third fight and we are behind him to win this one too.  In 2007 it was found that he had cancer of the appendix when he had an appendectomy.  In 2011 he fought against small intestinal cancer.  








Past Armstrong Moment
Dan’s favorite Lance Armstrong moment was while doing the commercial for ESPN with Lance powering the ESPN building while riding his bike. Dan used mind games with Lance during the filming to bring the most out of him. They were only given a 30 minute window to shoot and they shot the commercial in New York. Lance wanted to know how he was stacking up against the other athletes that had come in and done commercials for the network. Dan boasted about the other sports stars to use Lance’s competitiveness to get the job done in the short time they had and get the best results. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmzeKNiMkAs

　
Fans v. Fritzy

The shadow of disappointment over
his shoulder

Topic revealed for the next face off is Lance Armstrong. The show down will be either Thursday or Friday. That’s plenty of time for Paulie to collect responses from the audience, but will it be too long for Fritzy’s head to second guess his initial ideas? Fritzy’s already going on the defense by saying this has become a nation versus one man. Ah, Fritzy, the nation responded quickly to that statement. It’s two men (Fritzy and his brother the writer) versus a nation. Come on creative word turners out there, send in your best shots!

California Trip Update
Dan announced today that in approximately a month, Dan and the Danettes would be making an appearance TBA in California. In addition to the Danettes, Two-a-Days will be there too. Are they sure they want to bring him along? They might not get him back…Hollywood!

http://instagram.com/p/UZq0_lIfS2/

  Hurt Feelings and Finger 

Momento from the future 2013
summer intern?

Special FedEx delivery yesterday while Dan and the boys were having beer and wings. Some times special deliveries become less special when someone spoils what could have been a surprise for everyone. As Dan was opening the FedEx envelope, Seton leaned over and caught a glimpse and remarked – you got a script. Dan loves a surprise and Seton spoiled Dan’s surprise. To add injury to insult, when Dan was handling the envelope this morning, he got a nice, deep, bloody paper cut. Well, it wasn’t the script Seton was thinking. It wasn't possibly a role in an upcoming Sandler movie. It was another script. In the FedEx envelope was a copy of the script for the 100^th episode of The Big Bang Theory that was signed by the cast with a couple of messages from Jim Parsons. 1. Next to the word Bang on the cover, Jim wrote in biscuit to make the phrase "Bang Biscuit!" 2. Message on the cover for McLovin – Thank you for letting me intern. I’ll be back some day McLovin. 3. Message to Dan – It was the most fun he had in 2012 and hopes to see them in 2013. Be afraid McLovin. Be very afraid.

      A Man’s Bathroom is His Castle

No positive thoughts behind the bathroom
door today

Dan doesn’t have many rules, but one of his rules is you don’t use his bathroom without his case by case consent. This morning Dan found a cup of Starbucks coffee in his bathroom. Dan doesn’t drink Starbucks coffee. He drinks Starbucks vente skim chai. McLovin drinks coffee and it helps him make it during his drive home from the studio to Brooklyn. A bathroom stop before the ride home was needed but the hall bathroom was unavailable, so he used Dan’s bathroom instead. McLovin was caught this morning by leaving evidence that he had been there and had no choice to go against his natural instincts of lying. He knew there would be the WOP or possibly worse if he did. Would his being honest this morning change his questioned morals or poor work ethic in the future? No. Dan knocked him down a notch saying McLovin isn’t like the original three Danettes, they respect Dan’s rules. To McLovin every things a game, and as Seton would say, his apology was weak sauce. Did McLovin receive the message? Probably not. Will Dan need to do a bathroom lock out? We’ll just have to wait and see.




　

Missing a Semi-Final Game

Missing a Semi-Final Game
Monday was one of those days, and nights. One of those times when circumstances took what would have been the normal ability to view or listen to The Dan Patrick Show, and took most of that away, for just one day. In relationship to the events that have affected us all, in one way or another, from Newtown, CT, this was quite minor. But what I realize now, that I hadn’t before, is that this show was a form of escape from the seriousness of the every day world we live in.

DP Show shows respect to Sandy Hook Elementary School victims

I was so looking forward to this day’s broadcast. I considered it a special event, somewhat like a semi-final playoff game. Making contact with the show, whether by ear or eye, was too few and far between. When able to listen, or catch a glimpse of the show, I was gathering small three to five minute pieces of a large three hour puzzle and trying to put them all together. So frustrating. By the late, late evening I was finally able to grasp at larger segments of what had been, but was so tired that comprehension in putting the bigger picture together was a mental skill that was lacking. Why didn’t I anticipate that there could have been the slightest possibility that this could have occurred and recorded the show? This would not have been one of those days when I was snowed in, had a dead battery or a flat tire with a bad spare or even needed to have a bathroom available and near by. Nope, it had to be one of the busiest and inconvenient days.

Dan always says, make every show the Super Bowl. Dan’s Super Bowl will be the final show where we hope to learn all those things he and Paulie have told us they can’t tell us until then. So that would make this particular show a semi-final play off game. What made the airing of Monday’s show so special? There was a well known celebrity, who considered himself an everyday fan of the show, who was going to be able to come to the studio in NYC and be a Danette, if only for just a little while. Something that as fans of the show, all of us would embrace. What made this celebrity, Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory, more connectable was a little insight as to who he was prior to him joining Dan and the Danettes and that his physical appearance helped us visualize the guy next door or maybe ourselves. He wasn’t a pretty boy or possessing a physical talent that the every day man, or woman, couldn’t obtain. He’s relatable. He’s a guy that could be mistaken for any other guy, especially a geeky city or mid-western guy.

Jim Parsons, every man
Plaid flannel and a t shirt, the Danette winter uniform

He told his story on Jay Leno of his love of football, joining a fantasy football league, and his morning escape while getting ready to do his job, the escape being The Dan Patrick Show. The way he spoke about his sincere desire to be an unpaid intern for a day and what that would mean to him made so many of us say to ourselves, yeah me too! The joy and enthusiasm expressed in his face, body language and voice when Leno reminded him that Dan was part of the NBC family and maybe there was something that could be done was worthy of watching and hearing more than once. Parsons reacted the same way that the rest of us would to such news. It was almost as if it was Christmas morning for a small child.

From the bits and pieces that I was able to put together, Parsons slid into the chair mid-back row and fit right in with the group just as we hope we would. He took a stab at twitter, against the grain, stat of the day, five good seconds and a box appearance. Quite noticeable was no attempt at cougar of the week or mock headlines. Possibly his awareness of Fritzy’s possessiveness of this territory and high sensitivity level was front and center. Because this was the NYC man cave, Parsons was able to leave a photo booth remembrance of his visit. Parsons was as smooth Monday as we would hope we would be able to be in the same situation. Parsons’ one mistake, in his excitement in packing to come to the show he left his contribution for the Milford man cave in California, a script signed by the cast of his show.


Merry Christmas Jim Parson. Hope this was all you thought it would be, and maybe more. I don’t know how eventful and exciting Jim Parsons’ life truly is, but I hope, from a DP Show fan’s perspective, that Monday’s experience ranked up there in his top ten experiences as this would have been in most of our top three.

It's not the foreground that's interesting,
it's the jealous background that is.

Wheel! Of! Punishment!, Doggie Bag, Home Depot Helper

Home Depot Helper
Dan did a live read for the Home Depot Gift Center. Of the options there are: Weekender, Sports Fan, Decorator, Entertainer, Outdoor Enthusiast and Do It Yourselfer. Dan didn’t quite get it right for the gift package assignments for the Danettes. Maybe these choices would work better:

The Entertainer for Paulie - college campus food truck survival items: finger wipes, antacids, bib

The Sports Fan for Seton - all Yankees gear for the off season: Jeter skull cap, Jeter gloves, Jeter scarf

The Weekender for McLovin – come visit me basket: baby wipes, Mr. Mom manuals and a picture of DP

The Do It Yourselfer for Fritzy – Mountain Dew, Chinese food gift card and those special items needed while watching Cinemax

More wipes, gloves and lubricants

Doggie Bag From SI Sportsman Award
Dan was the on stage interviewer for LeBron James at the Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year Award Show. Prior to going on stage he and LeBron shook hands just after Lebron had applied moisturizer and still had a gob of it on his hand. To get rid of it, Dan did a bro pat/hug on LeBron’s back to try to get rid of it. Shortly after that Dan shook Coach Krzyzewski (how do you get sha-sheh-ski out of those letters?) hand who must have wondered if Dan’s hand was so moist and clammy from pre-show nerves. Coach K did ask who wrote Dan’s questions for him because they were so good. Our DP doesn’t need a writer! Although he had index cards in his hands, from what was shown, he didn’t use them.

Cards in hand but not needed

Last bite:
Lebron has a photo shopped pic of him guarding Michael Jordan as his phone’s screen saver. Think Jordan would still have scored?

Poor Paulie
We were reminded in the open that Dan has a new goal: for Paulie to have fun in the show. Real, gut busting fun. Paulie’s fun is watching other people have fun and saying "That’s funny." He just can’t enjoy himself on the show. Who says that’s funny instead of laughing if they’re having fun? Now the sound effects that Paulie did to Seton’s dorm room story….that’s funny. We did see Paulie do Seton’s leg bouncing, thigh slapping move trying to release the joy. Did it work? TBD

Sad and serious, can Paulie ever enjoy the DP Show experience?

Stat Timing
Stat of the Day is not as easy as it looks, hitting the post and getting in all your stat info. Dan tried to do a stat of the day but tangled the timing of the stat with the stat theme music. He was given a mulligan and did it again later in the show without music and was…ok. It just lacked the drama that it could have had if it was done to the music right the first time. Maybe they should have rehearsed. NEVER! Better to leave SOTD to the amateurs.

I have more words to say and here comes the post....
Dang! Missed it!

Wheel! Of! Punishment!
McLovin’s look at the beginning of the show was rough. He had a Bill Hader’s Stephon look and during his box appearance tried to mimic the mannerisms. Maybe he was going for the Edward from the Twilight series look. Either way, both characters have a creep factor to them. After the first break in the second hour his hair was fully dried and normal again. Must have used Dan’s shower today. So how did the wheel spin turn out? He can not cut or dye his hair until the NFL draft, which is April 26-28. He’ll be looking a little Rob Ryan-esk by that time. Possibly we’ll be getting a wheel of punishment theme song from Oderus, full name Oderus Urungus, from Gwar to go with the skull and cross bones on the wheel’s center.

Will McLovin comply with the Wheel Of Punishment?

Programming Note:
December 17^th, Jim Parsons from The Big Bang Theory is expected to be in the NYC man cave for the day.