Sharper than Sharpe, Wearing a Little Thin & More

From 01-21-13

How Do They Do It?

DP gets fired up with SOTD

DP is getting older, yes it’s true. He still appreciates a good head bang but wonders how the heavy metal bands do it every night for an hour or more. Dan was screaming along with the SOTD intro, which put Seton into head down, giggle mode. By the end of the short intro he was nearly all rocked out and red faced jetting up out of his chair and fist pumping. Getting old is a…

Sharper than Sharpe

So Sterling Sharpe was upset with Bill Belichick because he didn’t stop and talk to Steve Tasker from CBS. Was this really what was bothering him or did Sterling need to come up with something for post-game face time. What was better than what Sterling said on air was Fritzy imitating Sterling Sharpe because he didn’t think Seton had audio, which he did. Now if Sterling had said the things that Fritzy had in his imitation, that would have been more interesting TV. Even if Belichick had stopped and talked to Tasker, would he have said anything noteworthy? This is a low, soft talking, mumbler we’re talking about after all. After listening to his post-game presser, there was nothing to be gained.  Unitl it was pointed out to you, did you notice?  Did you care?

Bronze Linings Playbook

DP agrees JL was Golden Globes worthy

Short and sweet - Dan’s movie review of Silver Linings Playbook: It started out as an A+ that sloped to a B- by the end of the movie because they lost the momentum they had in the beginning on the subject matter for the storyline by the half to three quarter mark of the movie.  Great performances by all the actors it just needed a little help with the script to make it a really good movie. 

DP Viewing Alert

Dan will be part of the pre-game and half time telecast of the Pro Bowl on NBC, Will he get a chance to ask a player – do you really want to be here? What was in your gift bag? You can catch the Pro Bowl on NBC Sunday, January 27^th, beginning at 7 pm. Dan will be interviewing Joe Flacco and Collin Kaepernick from the New Orleans man cave to air during half time of the Pro Bowl. Will a Danette photo bomb the interview and make it to prime time network air? Must see TV.

Wearing a Little Thin

Have mock headlines frayed too far?

So what is it that is wearing a little thin with mock headlines? Mock headlines themselves? Quality submissions by Fritzy? Quality subject matter for the headlines? Frequency? Repetitive headlines? The number of headlines? Would three really good ones be better than twelve headlines of which there are nine crickets and three really good ones? It can’t be fans versus Fritzy. That’s only been done three times and done well. Whatever you choose, maybe a break is needed to freshen this up again. Five good seconds isn’t a daily feature. Either is ATG. SOTD is a shared effort. Fritzy asks for the abuse he gets and is then a poor sport in defeat with his bitter, sullen attitude. Maybe a little mock vaca to reboot the mock batteries is just what this segment needs.

The Man Can Ball, Happy Holidays....I Think

The Man Can Ball

Who’s got big man game?  Brian Baumgartner, Kevin from The Office, has big man game.  So much so that he’s on the NBA 2K13 Celebrity League with the likes of Justin Bieber.  Now the big man showed his stuff on his network show when he shot thirteen in a row from fifteen feet out, as well as going four rounds against Terrell Owens in a celebrity three point contest before losing to T.O.  Who doesn’t have game?  Leslie David Baker, who plays Stanley on The Office.  Too many donuts, not enough baskets.

He's looking for you

In character, Dan asked Kevin (Brian) to tell us who he thought was the funniest person in the office. His choice was Dwight, played by Rainn Wilson. The more “Kevin” talked, the more Dan lost it - face turning red, turning away from the mic and rocking in his chair.  Will Michael Scott make a return before the very end of the show?  Brian doesn’t think so.  Steve Carrell was proud of how his character was written off of the show and DP doesn’t think they should bring him back for just the sake of bring him back like so many other shows do when they have their final episodes. Former characters, who no longer have a reason to be there, show up just to say goodbye again.  Dan did slip up in the interview, but only once, by calling Brian, Kevin during the time on the air.  Poor Brian put up with much worse than that from Dan when they were all in Dallas for the Super Bowl and Dan only called him Kevin and not his actual name.  Bet that happens to Brian a lot.


Happy Holidays! …I Think

Dan received a Christmas card from David Letterman/One Direction that read: Have a Rockin’ Holiday!  No word if the card was personally signed or if it was a mass printing sent out to the laundry list of 2012 guests on the show. Does this mean that Dave is no longer ticked at Dan?

No more harsh feelings or just a name on a list

Gamblers love company, prison uniform anyone?

Coming to you from the NYC long weekend studio -

Prison Uniform Anyone?
Are you one to fall for the latest marketing ploy? The Pittsburgh Steelers are hoping so with the jersey the players wore during the SNF game. Certainly neither McLovin, nor I would wear this prison uniform replica so why would you? Wear it to the wrong state or city you may be getting more than you asked for in return for your investment.

Without the name, do you think chain gang
or football member

Peter Makes New Friends
What will get you lots of unwanted attention? Tweet your personal phone number. We’ve heard or seen this done before either accidentally by the owner or intentionally by someone holding a grudge or pranking someone. Most recently, Peter King did this to himself. 350+ calls and 270+ texts later he has changed his number and upset PR people across a nation.

Peter is lonely no more

Someone Made Dad Mad
Another way to tick Dan off – don’t watch him on TV when he uses your material from the show during major network time. This is what happened Sunday. Dan dropped the "Little Buckaroo" tag on the Buccaneer highlights expecting he would get a thank you from Fritzy. Nothing. No text, no email, no phone call, not even an acknowledgement when he came in this morning. What did Dan get from Fritzy? A text about Faith Hill and Byron Leftwich’s legs. What was Fritzy doing when Dan bestowed this honor? Listening to the Broncos game. No surprise, but Todd should have watched or listened to the taped broadcast before he got to work in the morning. You never know when dad will throw a life test your way. Don’t look for this opportunity to come along again anytime soon Fritzy. Dad was sulky and mad most of the show.  Good job bro.

Text-worthy legs

I Want You Back
Could we see another new hairstyle from McLovin? Don’t be surprised if you do. Dan was complimenting Seton again today on how well the bet cut looked on him, comparing him to Brad Pitt from one of his movies. The green eyed jealousy monster came out of McLovin once again. What will McLovin do to get Dan’s attention back?

If you turn out the lights, are
these McLovin's eyes?

Coffee Table Idea
Quickie interview with new Cup Champ, Brad Keselowski, as they were going up against the hard break. Brad did manage a total of three hours sleep after taking a little too much advantage of his sponsor’s product, Miller Lite beer. He had that raspy alcohol voice that made him sound as if he had been a long time smoker. His only thought during the race was, don’t screw up. Gotta wonder if that went out the window after a few gigantic glasses of beer. Did you see any of his post race interviews? Maybe the end of that motivational speech Ray Lewis left on his phone said …and party like a rock star after you take the championship. Dan wondered how much of what Brad does is to be an entertainer. All Brad knew was that when he is an entertainer, it tends to get him in trouble or cost him money like it did last week, 25K. Maybe he got into trouble last night, maybe today, he doesn’t know yet but he’ll be able to afford it a little more now after he gets his cut of the 5.6+ million dollar check coming his way from winning the championship. What is a red flag like for a driver in comparison to the average person? Like sitting in the parking lot at the grocery store and you’d rather be checking out what’s going on elsewhere than go inside. Roger Penske, the car owner, will be keeping the winning car for his museum, so nothing coming to the man cave there. Dan was interested that they recycle the cars that will no longer be used and then crush them. Maybe a nice car cube table for the green room would be useful.

Just a the remote and a few
magazines and you're good

Gamblers Love Company
Always entertaining, Shae in Irving with his love/hate relationship with his Cowboys and his weekend gambling stories. Comical how he tried to get Dan to come back to the fold. Shout out to the sneaky good audience member who got a sign calling out Shae in Irving on ESPN College Game Day.

Who should be king of the pop-a-shot, time to update Frank's look

Here’s something I’m sure will be heard all across America next Thursday: “Will you listen to me for a change?” No need for turkey and stuffing today.  Dan was trying to get Seton to listen to his advice on how to score big on the pop-a-shot as Dan can’t have Fritzy be the best at something.  Heaven forbid.  The confidence boost to Fritzy’s ego would ruin his booker game.

Should Dan let Fritzy be the king of the pop a shot?

Speaking of Fritzy:  Now that The Dan Patrick Show is part of the NBC family, could someone please spend a few bucks and get Fritzy a new outfit for his Monday Night Football song parodies?  Maybe Amy, who helped Dan with his Jimmy Fallon look, could help Fritzy with his Frank Williams Jr. persona.  I know we’re already half way into the season, but please show the brother a little love. 

Well worn but it's time to update "Frank"'s style

Keep the love coming!  The victims of Sandy appreciate and need all they can get.
American Red Cross:
Website:  www.redcross.org 

Text: To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone:  1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018 
        Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.

Ridin' out a side effect of Sandy

Mike Florio from Profootballtalk.com and NBC sports all things professional football, coming from the snow covered mountain regions of West Virginia, informed us that there would be no DP today. Although the efforts were valiant, Paulie and crew were not able to resuscitate the old boy. Although we love Mike, it just wasn’t the same. What effect did that have on America? Here a just a few examples:

• Housewives discovered how dirty their homes were, but decided to leave them another day in case there was no Dan two days in a row.
• Deliveries were delayed due to lack of focus on finding addresses and following directions.
• Parents rediscovered all the things about their children that they hope they’ll grow out of, soon.
• Production slowed in the work place as Dan helped keep workers motivated and they discovered how bad their jobs really were.
• Students were not able to study, as school was not as exciting as it once was and homework was truly tedious.
• Restaurants over cooked food and undelivered in service.
• Gas stations refused to sell gas for less than $4.00 a gallon.
• Grocery stores only sold organic foods.
• Burger joints became vegan bistros.
• Bars only had non-alcoholic drinks.
• Scores girls put their clothes on.
• Most importantly, no other sports show could stand up to what Dan provides his audience five days a week.

Milford Mancave safe and sound

Come back Milford fiber optics!
Come back Dan and Danettes!
America needs you!

Continued thoughts and prayers to those dealing with Sandy's aftermath -