Did you know that in order to recruit players in the NCAA you need to pass an annual recruiting test of thirty questions on NCAA rules? If you did know before today, GOOD FOR YOU! Bobby Petrino, the Kentucky football head coach, found out he passed his test and can go out and recruit. That was probably the most informative part of the interview. What could have made it better? Petrino being open and honest and not skirt the issues when Dan threw the tough questions his way. Dan isn’t disingenuous with his guests or with his audience. If he calls a spade a spade on the air before they come on, he does it while they’re on the air too. Unlike other radio shows that say one thing when the guest isn’t on the air and another when they are. It wasn’t Petrino’s affair that Dan was after, it was that he hired his mistress for an opening at the Arkansas athletic department violating rules and how when he left the Atlanta Falcons he told the players by leaving a note in their lockers.
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| How far will Petrino’s remorse get him? |
Fritzy needed his brother’s help in more ways then one today. One of the problems was the mock headlines on the Patriots/Texans game that only earned a "That’s terrible" from Seton and groans from everyone else on the first submission. From there, not a single sound effect, not even crickets. To top that, he was followed by Sven who didn’t have to do anything more than breathe to be better than Fritzy. The writer brother was so missed and needed.
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| Even dogs can get in on Fritzy's first mock headline! |
Sven in CA’s Grudenisms only Jon understands:
Wham break
Dagger squad combination
Short area quickness
Peek-a-boo sack
And my favorite:
Big iron gear on your lawn
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| Football linguist from another planet |
Second problem Fritzy encountered was the report of his time with the make up artist for the NYC promo shoot yesterday. Poor Lana. She was probably just short of saying "My eyes are up here!" and putting in some ear plugs. Fritzy is a chatterer. The kind that either out of nervousness or because they like hearing the sound of their voice, or they just don’t know any better, talk and talk and talk and talk. Even if you’ve tuned them out, and they know you have tuned them out, continue to talk.
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| Did Lana really need to know Fritzy had a hernia surgery coming up? |
Can Danette Deficiency Help Dan Win?
Dan was nominated for the National Sportscaster of the Year award with a bunch of play by play guys. They have it easy, watch a game, talk with analyst, talk with players, go home. The voting committee needs to factor in difficulty before deciding the award. The difficulty of who you work with each day determines your worth. If the voting committee did that, Dan would be a multi-time winner. Dan was able to put the Danettes in what will probably be their one and only movie! That should garner a lifetime achievement award! As a reminder this is what Dan is working with:Fritzy – mock headlines, cougar of the day, constant emailing pictures of women
Paulie – has no joy, obsessed with soccer, meanest Danette
Seton – can’t figure out who the winner of a TV is, fights with McLovin like a brother
McLovin – Where do you start? Where do you stop?
Here’s a list of other nominees in Dan’s category:
National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association
National Sportscaster Nominees
Al Michaels, NBC
Bob Costas, NBC/MLB Network
Dan Patrick, NBC/"The Dan Patrick Show"
Dan Shulman, ESPN
Brad Nessler, ABC/ESPN/NFL Network
Jim Nantz, CBS
Joe Buck, Fox
Mike Tirico, ESPN/ABC
Mike Emrick, NBC
Kevin Harlan, CBS/TNT
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| Could any other nominee than Dan win with this support staff? |
O Christmas Tree!
Back in the Miford man cave and we find that the Christmas tree is up and the Menorah is lit. 2012 ornaments are starting to come in. Dan and the Danettes did a viewing of the ornaments received so far and Dan has a message for one special audience member: He can’t be bribed, because of it’s questionable content he can’t take it home, and it can’t go up on the tree but he can be entertained. For someone at the Mothership that still knows a good thing when they see/hear it, he did receive your ESPN ornament for the tree. He has no problem with that. Dan loves his ESPN staff audience. Would ESPN have a problem with an ornament from DP’s show up on the ESPN Christmas tree in their lobby? Seton’s current mission is occupy Christmas tree but he needs to do it in a covert manner, so no help from the audience please. He knows you’re enthusiastic helpers, but for this one he needs to go it alone. |
| His sleepy look is only cover for his trickery |
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
You have no balls but the lights are neat.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
You need a hot chick to make you sweet.
Fritzy creeps the girls away,
Danny Jaw Face hates those days.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
It may be only men that touch thee.
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| Will Chrissy make a return appearance this year? |
You can send your 2012 ornament to:
The Dan Patrick Show
P.O. Box 591
Milford, CT 06460
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| Ornaments will be eligible win a gift! |
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