Ridin' High Falling Forward, Dan Loves LA, Swag Scammers

Swag Scammers 

Jerry West in top form

It was an easy Valentines Day for Seton and Paulie as they achieved their goals of taking home the ProFlowers.com promotional flowers in the man cave for their wives.  Not that they fessed up right away and used semantics to their advantage, but eventually the truth came out. Fritzy had a good scam as well by scoring a NBA all-star jersey for himself when Dan was getting his. Fritzy didn’t include the other Danettes in the deal but then again the man cave isn’t always share and share alike.  Fritzy folded like a cheap chair when Dan confronted him. He’s not as quick on his feet as the front row when it comes to camouflage.  Dan’s all star tribute jersey to Jerry West was added to the man cave today – the west all star team, Jerry’s number, 44, with the Laker’s logo but Dan’s name on the back.


Ridin’ High, Falling Forward

Did Lopez look like this after
McLovin's one-two punch?

McLovin was basking in glory for a short period of time today when he delivered two spanking one liners against Brook Lopez from the Brooklyn Nets.  It must be that tough Dartmouth/Stanford rivalry. Also, it’s easy to be a big man from the other side of the mic.  Then McLovin has to try to show off his athleticism and husbandry skills.  He tried to jump over the top of a 1/64th die cast car to dunk a basketball and ended up stepping on the car, scratching it and then landed against the new ball rack, breaking it.  Finally, trying to be a good husband by staying home instead of going to LA for the B-Dubs meet and greet he told his wife’s age on national radio/TV.  Typical McLovin smoothness. 

Dan Loves LA 

Ok, this isn’t exactly LA, it may be Huntington Beach.  If you’re in the area and you’re a DP fan, you have to stop by Saturday, February 23rd 11:00 – 1:00 Huntington Beach Buffalo Wild Wings, 7811 Edinger Avenue. Meet and Greet with Dan, Paulie, Seton and Fritzy.  Don’t know about Casey or Two-a-Days, sorry.  No McLovin, his wife’s birthday party is next weekend.  

Shifting Gears 

Will DP ever see the tunnel like I
will soon?

There will not be any updates to the blog for a bit.  On my way to Daytona for Speed Week. Too bad the show doesn’t have much interest in the second largest sport in the U.S. other than having the 500 winner, the season champion, and the popularity machine of Jr. and/or Danica.  Not like there weren’t any stories that happened during the ten months of the season or off-season 2012/2013. The surprise of 2012 was when there was the bonus of Denny Hamlin when he initiated the visits himself. Still love the show, just wish Dan would open his mind to more than the stick and ball sports he can find time to talk about 779 of the 780 hours of the show per year.  Borrowing words from Bonnie Bernstein from a totally different subject: Evolve. Accept. Embrace. Enough of the rant, track bound.

Random Adam Sandler, Creepy Yet Flattering, & More

Random Adam Sandler
How was it that Adam Sandler had a soundless guitar at the 121212 Concert? A trap door closed on top of his guitar cord, so no sound. Although he’s a Knicks fan, because he lives in LA he’ll be seen at those games more likely and either on or near the floor or up in his agency’s suite eating chicken. Kobe indicated in an interview with Dan that he’d like to be in a Sandler movie. Sandler was up for that. The next role for Dan will be in a Sandler western themed movie wearing cowboy gear head to toe including what sounds like ass chaps and a possible love interest. Script to be in Dan’s hands in about two weeks. Sandler guaranteed he’ll be a cool, funny cowboy that’s solid and more manly than Dan’s role in Grown Ups 2. There was no talk of parts for the Danettes. They were given one shot to prove themselves in That’s My Boy and they must not have gotten it done. No background extras, no ranch hands, no little buckaroos, no Danettes. Sounds like the closest they’ll get now is a possible invite to the next NYC premier whenever that happens. The Danettes were one and done like a Kentucky freshman basketball player.

Limited Danette Love

Happy Friday Fritzy
John Elway will be calling in tomorrow and Fritzy will be additionally nervous and jumping to answer the phone. He may stumble on his words a bit, but who wouldn’t after getting a chance to speak to one of their sports idols. If this were Joe Montana or David Beckham calling in, it would be Paulie doing the same thing.

Will John's smile be as wide after Fritzy answers the phone? 

Naughty Not Nice
While looking at more ornaments that came in, in the back room, Seton noticed that someone sent in one of his favorite treats, boxes of TastyKakes. There was one box that was opened, and TastyKakes were missing. The finger was pointed at Wild Bill, one of the cameramen, but he may not have been the culprit. Which BRG, back room guy, or Danette just couldn’t wait to fulfill the need of their sweet tooth? That’s yet to be learned. Just another man cave mystery. Dan and the boys found themselves coming back from break when they were still in the back room. Everyone was scrambling to get back. Dan was stuck behind Fritzy who was not moving as quickly as others were and received a "Let’s go! Move your fat ass!" from Dan as a motivator.

Has Seton introduced his son to these delights? 
Betcha he did!

Seeking Heat Seeking Missile
The Seton/DP favorite yellow football is still missing. The focus shifted to Paulie today who denied knowing where the football was. The intensity of questions from DP picked up after Paulie made a remark about not being able to catch the ball normally. Fritzy chimed in that he never saw Paulie play with it. Paulie said after the questioning he felt like Tommy Tuberville did after he was peppered with questions from Dan about college coaches not finishing out their contracts when those same coaches preach that the program is all about the kids. Something to keep in mind, Paulie never directly answered Dan’s questions. The yellow football mystery continues as well. While Seton was taking a quick look around the front of the desk area he a Paulie share, he pulled out a black sombrero that has a back story that couldn’t be talked about. Hmmm, saying there’s something that can’t be talked about means they need to talk about this. We can only hope it will be sometime soon.

What dark secret does this hat hold?

TMS
You’ve heard of TMI, today the BRG (back room guys) had TMS, too much sound. The sound of Dan using the bathroom was most likely not desired. Better to hear Dan than when Fritzy is in here.

Add no mic to the sign please, 
Thank you - BRG

Fritzy’s Joy
Nothing was more satisfying for Fritzy today, when he was having a mediocre day, than someone else trying to do what he does, without success. Sven in CA called in with his mock headlines and struggled big time. Chanukah joy for Fritzy.

If Fritzy could, he would 

They Remembered Me!
Dan let us know that he got a Christmas card from someone at the Mothership. He wouldn’t say who because they’re all on scholarships there. Wonder how Seton’s doing on his occupy ESPN Christmas tree project.

There were wishes of holiday happiness from an  ESPN person to DP 

Creepy, Yet Flattering
An ornament grouping that came in from CA was revealed today. Dan’s head was on the star for the top of the tree. Each Danette head was covering the face of four different SI swimsuit models from the wall of morale. For the Danette’s, the new images are etched in their minds and they’ll never look at the wall of morale quite the same.

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