Back to Reality, Super Bowl Wraps, SMH & Dangling Bits

Super Bowl Wraps 1-31/2-4

Back to Reality 

It’s back to reality for Dan, and more so, the Danettes. No more credentials needed, no celebrity shoulder rubbing, concert stages are gone, no more perks or autograph and photo requests. It’s back to driving in early morning traffic, riding the Amtrack, taking out the garbage and snow to shovel. They didn’t think they’re lives from New Orleans would stay that way did they?



Going for Father of the Year    

Screamin' for Ian

What do young women like? Good looking guys and cute animals. Dan, a father, was able to deliver in one of those areas during Super Bowl week. At the Directv Celebrity Beach Bowl, Dan was able to deliver a Josh Hutcherson meeting for his daughters by stalling Josh and his father by taking a bullet talking to the father. There was also a convenient meeting of Ian Somerhalder for them too. Sure Dan had to tell the celebs, don’t worry about the screaming girls, those were his daughters, but it was worth it. Dan won’t deliver on the other area of interest his daughters had, getting a Clydesdale. After seeing the Budweiser/Landslide commercial through the sobs of tears was a request: "Can we get a Clydesdale?" No, there will be no big ponies for the Patrick girls.


SMH
Tidbits from the last days in New Orleans:

Not smiling at the end of CBB

I team report – Celebrity Beach Bowl: Lil’ Wayne was the first celebrity ever to be escorted out of the Celebrity Beach Bowl after becoming irate with a cameraman who was a little too close and bumped Lil’ Wayne in the head with his camera.

From Dancing to Signing At one point during the Justin Timberlake concert Paulie, the stepper, and McLovin, the Ellen impersonator, realized that they were both singing along to Cry Me a River. Acceptable.

JT inspiring mischief

From Singing to Dancing Fritzy, the ‘80’s falsetto singer, was dancing along to the music and an unknown girl joined in and he reciprocated instead of stopping and walking away. The dancing turned to grinding. Really??? Dan had been asked by Fritzy at the beginning of the week to let him know if he was stepping out of bounds to help keep him in check. Dan was out on the dance floor viewing all of this calling out to Fritzy when this happened of: "Over the line! So over the line!" went on deaf ears. Fritzy also seemed to enjoy throwing the beads more than the others as well. How did Fritzy defend himself? He didn’t: "What, no grinding?" regarding the dancing and "I had to take my last chance to see some" about the last bead tosses. Not acceptable. Those are probably the words Fritzy will be hearing, amongst others, from his wife when he gets home tonight now that the stories came out.

Celebrity Admiration 

Living the good life

Who does Dan have a new respect for? Current "hot now" celeb Pitbull, who performed at the post Celebrity Beach Bowl game. Dan wouldn’t mind being Pitbull, as he is now, who seems to be enjoying a pretty good life. For now.






Other Dangling Bits in New Orleans 

Get outta
the way!

Paulie and Seton took a little too long getting through a security check and were yelled at by Mark Cuban for holding things up.

Shae!  I mean Will! with Paulie and McLovin

Will Ferrell, believed to be Shae in Irving, came up behind Paulie and McLovin at the bar while they were getting their drinks, Jack and Coke and a Diet Coke, slapped them on their backs and asked them questions about the show i.e. the NYC studio, Chris in Syracuse, etc. The boys nearly pissed their pants in surprise. Piece of trivia: Ferrell watches the show from his bathroom. What does he do in there for three hours?

You better call me!

Getting geeky – Paulie was stoked about JJ Watt offering up his cell phone number with the invite to call him anytime – big fan of the show. 

Ripa power

Michael Strahan’s popularity at the Celebrity Beach Bowl he felt didn’t come from playing football or being on Fox, but from him joining Live with Kelly, a whole different demographic. Also, thank you Strahan for walking McLovin through how to do a bro hug of mutual recognition and respect. 

Going wild in the west

When Adam Sandler called in he reminded Dan he’ll need to come up with a new voice for his part in the "to be filmed piece" of Sandler’s wild western. Working title for the film is The Ridiculous Six.

You need how many Danettes?

Emmett Smith questioned the size of Dan’s entourage and his diversity program because there were no brothers or women represented on the show other than guests. Dan reminded him that when he left ESPN these were the only people interested in following him and that having non-family member females in the attic of his house when he started probably wouldn’t have gone over very well at home. He did say that Dan’s man cave represented what a brother would do by putting his name on everything. 

Likes them tall, dark and handsome

In the don’t be fresh category – Dan came across a pretty blonde sitting alone so he introduced himself. In the course of conversation he thought she was starting to come on to him with small talk. If small talk is coming on to someone, there are tens of millions of people in trouble constantly. The pretty little blonde it turns out was Rob Riggle’s wife. Dan told Rob at the end of the radio interview Monday to give his wife Dan’s best. Coincidentally, Rob’s wife said the same thing. The final parting line was: "Tell that little kitten I said hello." Wonder if Dan used his "drowning in my blue eyes" line on her too. 

Moments From the 1/30-31 Shows:

Rain, Rain, Go Away

In what has to be one of the best weather related Super Bowl week moments since the Dallas freeze, New Orleans was raining buckets and had high winds Wednesday. There was a caller who said they had it the day before so it’s headed their way. Surprise! It was already there. New feature in the man cave for a little while was a bit of a waterfall. Don’t think that was part of the plan in the set design. The guest who had the most issues with the rain was The Playmaker, Michael Irvin, of NFL Network. The umbrella guy, Dan, didn’t seem to understand that rain was directional and the direction it was coming down was on Irvin. Then there was residual rain splatter in the man cave, so James Lofton, who had just left the set, brought an umbrella to Irvin. The umbrella must have been left somewhere or blocked something else other than rain at one time because after the umbrella had been put up, Irvin had a white dust on his suit. He’s the last person who should have white dust on his suit, he said. He was ready to back himself up: "Get out the cups!" as he was more than happy to provide an on the spot sample if need be. This weather might not be as bad as what everyone will experience during Super Bowl in 2014 in New York. James Lofton, of Westwood One, says it might be hard to report on the game from the tunnel where he plans to stay warm.

Going to the Dogs 
Moose Johnston, NFL on Fox, had been using the P5 training app from Purina Pro Plan with his 11 year old daughter to train their dog, Gunner.  He was surprised at how much his dog had learned in agility exercises in only a month.  Wonder if any of that will transfer over when Moose and Dan host the Directv Beach Bowl this Saturday on the Audience Network, channel 239 and 101 at 1 pm EST live, with replays at 5 and 9 EST.

Showin’ Some Moves

Fritzy, McLovin and Seton move over!  Steppin’, stoppin’ Paulie is in the house!  Once he turned himself loose there was no stopping him.  There were exhibitions Tuesday afternoon, Wednesday and again on Thursday.  Is Dancing with the Stars in his future?  Need to work on the star rating first.  Hey Adam!  Got any awesome bit parts in that movie you’re shooting?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggPfC6z5GaM&feature=youtu.be


Foodie Frenzy

During The Box Score Show Paulie was all a flutter with Travel Channel’s Man v. Food, Man v. Food Nation and Best Sandwich in America, Adam Richman, on the court grilling gourmet corn on the cob. For some lucky fans that came by the set, the corn hulls in the teeth were all a glisten. Adam knows food and where to find it at it’s best for the every man. Certainly Paulie was tapping that mental resource before it left.

What Wonderful Conversation 

Cooper (pronounced coo like in cookie)
Manning, the funny Manning

Has someone you have no interest in having a conversation ever trapped you in a corner? This is what happened to poor Steve Mariucci, from NFL Network, Wednesday evening. Who was the perpetrator? The socially awkward McLovin. Better McLovin than Fritzy though. Pretty sure Steve would prefer a conversation about Xs and Os than what played on the pay per view channel in the hotel the night before. As the lady in red on the streets of New Orleans told Cooper Manning in the show open, if a man doesn’t have if up here, pointing to her head, he doesn’t have in down there. Staying on the subject of awkward. At dinner, Seton was somehow shuttled to a table of people he didn’t know, and no one seemed to care who he was, what he did or where he did it. Bite of food, slug of beer, bite of food, slug of beer….

"McLovin get out of my face!"

Reunited and It Feels So Good 

Honestly, wouldn't have
known it was Greenie without
the caption this morning.

It was guest appearances, cameos and stories from the mothership the last two days. Guest appearance: Chris "Boomer" Berman who got his nickname by being criticized for how loud he got when he was commenting on sports achievements. Cameo: Mike "Greenie" Greenberg during the "Manning on the Street" opening. Fly on the wall moment: After Berman’s appearance during a look in, Fritzy and Chris seemed to be having an intense conversation. Why did the music have to be playing? We don’t have that during the NY or CT look ins!



　

　

Photo-bombing Dan, Rush to Error, Up High!

McLovin Does It Again

Congratulations McLovin! Awful Announcing named McLovin’s Harlem Globetrotter ball spin on the finger, in the box, where he knocked off and broke his glasses then reached for them on his face like they were still there as their number ten of twelve Awful Announcing’s Top Twelve Bloopers of 2012. Keep up the good work Andy! Footnote: McLovin tried to recreate the moment in celebration of the recognition by AA and was unable make it happen. Par for course. Try to do something and can’t, try not to do something and do.

Did it one, did it twice (in NYC), third time not a charm
www.awfulannouncing.com/2012-articles/december/top-12-announcing-bloopers-of-2012.html

Up High!

If Adrian Petersen, from the Minnesota Vikings, reaches out to shake your hand you may want to think twice, no matter who you are. Adrian is becoming known for his hand crushing handshakes, just ask John Lynch’s ten year old son. Show no mercy no matter what. Go up high, go for knucks or risk your metacarpals.

Goin' up high and with knucks

Rush to Error
Dan has been an enormous fan of the band Rush for many, many years. Something he’s had wrong all this time is the pronunciation of the drummer’s last name. He received a gift for the man cave, a pair of beat up drum sticks that were given to a fan of the band, who is also a fan of the show, by one of the band’s techs. With the drumsticks came a note explaining that the name of the drummer is not pronounced Pert like the shampoo, but Peert like there is an ear sound between the P and the T. As hard as Dan tried, he just couldn’t get it right after saying it wrong for so long. Dan didn’t say either of the ways above. He was now saying Peart like the fruit with a T. Oh, Dan. So much for your chances of getting the NSSA Sportscaster of the Year this year.

Not the shampoo

Sounds Like Cereal
Sven in CA called in with his Grudenisms which really only one fit the category: Bunch crunch toss play. Can’t you see it? You pour from the open box this funky bunch of nuts and flakes coated in goo. Slop on the milk. Toss it with your spoon. Play with the masses trying to soften it up so it won’t break your teeth. Finally, put a spoonful in your mouth and bite down making a large, long crunch noise. Yep, that’s where Gruden got that line.

Bunch crunch toss play

Caller You’re On The Air

If there were awards for the fans that call into the show, who would receive them this year? Shae in Irving would receive the Come Back Caller of the Year after a lengthy absence from the show and then coming back in 2012 with each call he made sharper, snarkier and funnier than ever. Congratulations Will Ferrell, ahhh, I mean Shae! The Caller of the Year, make that years, is Chris in Syracuse who had called each and every day, even when there were guest hosts, as well as to The Box Score until circumstances beyond his control have kept him away. Congratulations Chris and We Miss You! Shae and Chris, your awards are in the mail. No, not really, that wasn’t true, but congratulations anyway!

Caller, you're on the air

Photo-bombing Dan  
If you had watched the movie, That’s My Boy, with Adam Sandler, Dan and yes, the Danettes, you may have noticed that Paulie was the most prominent of the Danettes. So what was his secret? His boyish good looks? His natural ability to convey a message without saying a word? Crazy acting chops? No way! It’s his ability to stand close and sway from side to side of Dan during Dan’s camera shots. So crafty, so Paulie.

Dan channeling John Laroquette
backed by the Danettes, Paulie at his side 

Random Adam Sandler, Creepy Yet Flattering, & More

Random Adam Sandler
How was it that Adam Sandler had a soundless guitar at the 121212 Concert? A trap door closed on top of his guitar cord, so no sound. Although he’s a Knicks fan, because he lives in LA he’ll be seen at those games more likely and either on or near the floor or up in his agency’s suite eating chicken. Kobe indicated in an interview with Dan that he’d like to be in a Sandler movie. Sandler was up for that. The next role for Dan will be in a Sandler western themed movie wearing cowboy gear head to toe including what sounds like ass chaps and a possible love interest. Script to be in Dan’s hands in about two weeks. Sandler guaranteed he’ll be a cool, funny cowboy that’s solid and more manly than Dan’s role in Grown Ups 2. There was no talk of parts for the Danettes. They were given one shot to prove themselves in That’s My Boy and they must not have gotten it done. No background extras, no ranch hands, no little buckaroos, no Danettes. Sounds like the closest they’ll get now is a possible invite to the next NYC premier whenever that happens. The Danettes were one and done like a Kentucky freshman basketball player.

Limited Danette Love

Happy Friday Fritzy
John Elway will be calling in tomorrow and Fritzy will be additionally nervous and jumping to answer the phone. He may stumble on his words a bit, but who wouldn’t after getting a chance to speak to one of their sports idols. If this were Joe Montana or David Beckham calling in, it would be Paulie doing the same thing.

Will John's smile be as wide after Fritzy answers the phone? 

Naughty Not Nice
While looking at more ornaments that came in, in the back room, Seton noticed that someone sent in one of his favorite treats, boxes of TastyKakes. There was one box that was opened, and TastyKakes were missing. The finger was pointed at Wild Bill, one of the cameramen, but he may not have been the culprit. Which BRG, back room guy, or Danette just couldn’t wait to fulfill the need of their sweet tooth? That’s yet to be learned. Just another man cave mystery. Dan and the boys found themselves coming back from break when they were still in the back room. Everyone was scrambling to get back. Dan was stuck behind Fritzy who was not moving as quickly as others were and received a "Let’s go! Move your fat ass!" from Dan as a motivator.

Has Seton introduced his son to these delights? 
Betcha he did!

Seeking Heat Seeking Missile
The Seton/DP favorite yellow football is still missing. The focus shifted to Paulie today who denied knowing where the football was. The intensity of questions from DP picked up after Paulie made a remark about not being able to catch the ball normally. Fritzy chimed in that he never saw Paulie play with it. Paulie said after the questioning he felt like Tommy Tuberville did after he was peppered with questions from Dan about college coaches not finishing out their contracts when those same coaches preach that the program is all about the kids. Something to keep in mind, Paulie never directly answered Dan’s questions. The yellow football mystery continues as well. While Seton was taking a quick look around the front of the desk area he a Paulie share, he pulled out a black sombrero that has a back story that couldn’t be talked about. Hmmm, saying there’s something that can’t be talked about means they need to talk about this. We can only hope it will be sometime soon.

What dark secret does this hat hold?

TMS
You’ve heard of TMI, today the BRG (back room guys) had TMS, too much sound. The sound of Dan using the bathroom was most likely not desired. Better to hear Dan than when Fritzy is in here.

Add no mic to the sign please, 
Thank you - BRG

Fritzy’s Joy
Nothing was more satisfying for Fritzy today, when he was having a mediocre day, than someone else trying to do what he does, without success. Sven in CA called in with his mock headlines and struggled big time. Chanukah joy for Fritzy.

If Fritzy could, he would 

They Remembered Me!
Dan let us know that he got a Christmas card from someone at the Mothership. He wouldn’t say who because they’re all on scholarships there. Wonder how Seton’s doing on his occupy ESPN Christmas tree project.

There were wishes of holiday happiness from an  ESPN person to DP 

Creepy, Yet Flattering
An ornament grouping that came in from CA was revealed today. Dan’s head was on the star for the top of the tree. Each Danette head was covering the face of four different SI swimsuit models from the wall of morale. For the Danette’s, the new images are etched in their minds and they’ll never look at the wall of morale quite the same.

Thanks for sharing???