Back to Reality, Super Bowl Wraps, SMH & Dangling Bits

Super Bowl Wraps 1-31/2-4

Back to Reality 

It’s back to reality for Dan, and more so, the Danettes. No more credentials needed, no celebrity shoulder rubbing, concert stages are gone, no more perks or autograph and photo requests. It’s back to driving in early morning traffic, riding the Amtrack, taking out the garbage and snow to shovel. They didn’t think they’re lives from New Orleans would stay that way did they?



Going for Father of the Year    

Screamin' for Ian

What do young women like? Good looking guys and cute animals. Dan, a father, was able to deliver in one of those areas during Super Bowl week. At the Directv Celebrity Beach Bowl, Dan was able to deliver a Josh Hutcherson meeting for his daughters by stalling Josh and his father by taking a bullet talking to the father. There was also a convenient meeting of Ian Somerhalder for them too. Sure Dan had to tell the celebs, don’t worry about the screaming girls, those were his daughters, but it was worth it. Dan won’t deliver on the other area of interest his daughters had, getting a Clydesdale. After seeing the Budweiser/Landslide commercial through the sobs of tears was a request: "Can we get a Clydesdale?" No, there will be no big ponies for the Patrick girls.


SMH
Tidbits from the last days in New Orleans:

Not smiling at the end of CBB

I team report – Celebrity Beach Bowl: Lil’ Wayne was the first celebrity ever to be escorted out of the Celebrity Beach Bowl after becoming irate with a cameraman who was a little too close and bumped Lil’ Wayne in the head with his camera.

From Dancing to Signing At one point during the Justin Timberlake concert Paulie, the stepper, and McLovin, the Ellen impersonator, realized that they were both singing along to Cry Me a River. Acceptable.

JT inspiring mischief

From Singing to Dancing Fritzy, the ‘80’s falsetto singer, was dancing along to the music and an unknown girl joined in and he reciprocated instead of stopping and walking away. The dancing turned to grinding. Really??? Dan had been asked by Fritzy at the beginning of the week to let him know if he was stepping out of bounds to help keep him in check. Dan was out on the dance floor viewing all of this calling out to Fritzy when this happened of: "Over the line! So over the line!" went on deaf ears. Fritzy also seemed to enjoy throwing the beads more than the others as well. How did Fritzy defend himself? He didn’t: "What, no grinding?" regarding the dancing and "I had to take my last chance to see some" about the last bead tosses. Not acceptable. Those are probably the words Fritzy will be hearing, amongst others, from his wife when he gets home tonight now that the stories came out.

Celebrity Admiration 

Living the good life

Who does Dan have a new respect for? Current "hot now" celeb Pitbull, who performed at the post Celebrity Beach Bowl game. Dan wouldn’t mind being Pitbull, as he is now, who seems to be enjoying a pretty good life. For now.






Other Dangling Bits in New Orleans 

Get outta
the way!

Paulie and Seton took a little too long getting through a security check and were yelled at by Mark Cuban for holding things up.

Shae!  I mean Will! with Paulie and McLovin

Will Ferrell, believed to be Shae in Irving, came up behind Paulie and McLovin at the bar while they were getting their drinks, Jack and Coke and a Diet Coke, slapped them on their backs and asked them questions about the show i.e. the NYC studio, Chris in Syracuse, etc. The boys nearly pissed their pants in surprise. Piece of trivia: Ferrell watches the show from his bathroom. What does he do in there for three hours?

You better call me!

Getting geeky – Paulie was stoked about JJ Watt offering up his cell phone number with the invite to call him anytime – big fan of the show. 

Ripa power

Michael Strahan’s popularity at the Celebrity Beach Bowl he felt didn’t come from playing football or being on Fox, but from him joining Live with Kelly, a whole different demographic. Also, thank you Strahan for walking McLovin through how to do a bro hug of mutual recognition and respect. 

Going wild in the west

When Adam Sandler called in he reminded Dan he’ll need to come up with a new voice for his part in the "to be filmed piece" of Sandler’s wild western. Working title for the film is The Ridiculous Six.

You need how many Danettes?

Emmett Smith questioned the size of Dan’s entourage and his diversity program because there were no brothers or women represented on the show other than guests. Dan reminded him that when he left ESPN these were the only people interested in following him and that having non-family member females in the attic of his house when he started probably wouldn’t have gone over very well at home. He did say that Dan’s man cave represented what a brother would do by putting his name on everything. 

Likes them tall, dark and handsome

In the don’t be fresh category – Dan came across a pretty blonde sitting alone so he introduced himself. In the course of conversation he thought she was starting to come on to him with small talk. If small talk is coming on to someone, there are tens of millions of people in trouble constantly. The pretty little blonde it turns out was Rob Riggle’s wife. Dan told Rob at the end of the radio interview Monday to give his wife Dan’s best. Coincidentally, Rob’s wife said the same thing. The final parting line was: "Tell that little kitten I said hello." Wonder if Dan used his "drowning in my blue eyes" line on her too. 

Fritzy Foot Fouls, Movie Talk, Fans v Fritzy and More

　

Movie Talk

Blonde?

Whose movie taste do you trust?  If the Danettes gave you their opinion on a movie, would you watch it? The movie In Bruges, a dark comedy with Colin Farrell and Ralph Fiennes was brought in for Dan to watch.  Paulie considers it fantastic, one of the top ten films of all time. The more he watches it the better it gets.  Seton said it was a really good movie.  McLovin said it wasn’t bad.  Keep in mind that any time The Devil Wears Prada is on, McLovin watches it.  Fritzy, well Dan didn’t dare go to Fritzy for his opinion.  Fritzy’s critique would only be on the actress, Clemence Poesy, who Jesse Palmer thinks is incredibly hot.  Hotter than Homeland’s Morena Baccarin?

Or Brunette?

That’s My Boy Nominated

For a Razzie that is. If there’s a red carpet, Dan and the boys will be there. How about gift bags? Appetizers? A Miss Razzie? Who’s their competition? So much anticipation. The entire cast was recognized, not favorably, but still recognized. Trophies for everyone? We’ll have to see if they win.

      Career Advice

Guidance Counselor Burgundy

One of the memorable final moments of Dan being with ESPN was when Will Ferrell called in, in the character of Ron Burgundy, from Anchorman, to give Dan career advice upon his leaving the network. Ferrell stayed in character for a good 8-9 minutes on air with Dan.









Wheel of Punishment Violation?

McLovin man enough to sport
thiese sides?

McLovin returned today without his mustache. Now the question becomes, did he violate the wheel of punishment? Plus, what happened to all of those things that McLovin said the mustache did for him? He was empowered, there was a new vibe he was getting from women, and he felt like a new man. He claims it was giving him respiratory problems, that it was becoming a hideous growth by curling in and it was getting uglier. McLovin says he’ll do something special for sweeps, like grow out George Foster sideburns, to make up for the loss. Don’t hold your breath everyone because we know how good he is at follow through. Doesn’t he realize that the ugly mustache would have been better for the show? eDP owns your likeness when you become part of the show. McLovin’s hair, anywhere on his head, his walk, his lack of athletic display, Dan owns all of that. Sure, there’s a limit to the value, but DP still owns it. McLovin is sometimes exhausting entertainment, but he’s still entertainment. R.I.P. @McLovinsstache (original). In its place during The Box Score Show, Casey Geraghty gave McLovin a Sharpie stache that looked better than the original, from a distance. He lost a few epithelial cells during the break, but the Sharpie stache is gone now too.

Possible NYC Guest Monday

Where am I going to be Monday?

Charlie Sheen contacted Dan. Charlie is going to be in NYC next week and would like to stop by the NYC man cave. Now this is Charlie, and he’s not what you would characterize as fully dependable or fully organized in planned thought so this may not occur. If it does, it would be another fine DP Show moment.






            Speaking of NYC

The boys are readying themselves
for New Orleans

Have you seen the promo piece shot in the NYC man cave for the upcoming road trip to New Orleans for the Super Bowl? Pompous McLovin, Paulie with no joy, Seton’s facial expressions and whoever’s scream that was, topped by Fritzy’s exhibitionous display. Laugh not only at content but the guys wearing make up too. Funny stuff. Great job Directv people on another original promo.





Locker Room Vacant

Under renovation

We learned the reason that the website locker room is down. That portion of the audience participation is being updated. It coincides with improvements associated with the addition of NBC Sports Network. Dan appreciates the audience and what that brings to the show just as much as the audience appreciates that this is something that differentiates DP from other sports shows. The locker room will be back. It needs to come back. It provides an enormous percent of McLovin’s content on the show.

Fans v Fritzy

Baseball HOF Mock headlines edition. It seems that this will be a regular segment as there was intro music made for the piece. The jabs were flying back and forth between Paulie, representing the fans and Fritzy. Then Fritzy learning from the past took a walk off on his line - Juice for Jesus. Then the fans came back one more time with Back Back Bacne. Fritzy couldn’t resist and wanted a bonus round, a one off winner take all with Sven in CA being the final fan headline even though Paulie still had two in the bag. Fritzy went first because he asked for the bonus round and went with his Dire Straits take off. Instead of going with either of the headlines Paulie was holding, they went to Sven who WHIFFED. Overall the fans had better headlines but the win went to Fritzy. Was the decision thrown because Dan knew he would loose Fritzy for the rest of the show if he had lost? Hmmm. In the end, it’s better to play with others than to play with yourself.

Special Deliveries to the Man Cave

One of Dan’s basketball idols is Pete Maravich. He showed an action figure that came with a hand written letter from Pete Maravich to the fan that originally had the figurine and letter. That fan had now sent it on to Dan. This was a special piece for Dan that is on his side of the studio.

Another special item on Dan’s side is a firefighter helmet from Edwardsville, IL. Love and admiration to first responders! @rushdude

He doesn't need a designer,
he needs a barber.

The head of Sony, Steve Mosko, asked Dan who the set decorator was for the show. Dan told him that this was a former dance studio that the DIY Man Cave show did the bones renovation and the rest was all Dan. Is there an Emmy for TV show set design?





Social News

From Ralph Lauren to Derek Jeter

From the social news department of the show: Derek Jeter is dating Ralph Lauren model, Hannah Davis. Step up, step down or lateral move for Jeter? Dan and the boys approve, do you?




Fritzy Foot Fouls

Ride, then drive....away

Fritzy’s foot found it’s way to his mouth again. In making analogies of college coaches talking to other teams while they were under contract with someone else Fritzy had to chime in. Dan had been talking about the relationship between the school and coach as a marriage. Fritzy added that he saw nothing wrong with test driving a car (mistress), because it doesn’t mean you’re going to sell old one you have now (wife). Should make for interesting conversation when he gets home.

How does that taste.
Chew good, swallow hard.

Fritzy also claims that he had not talked to anyone about other job opportunities. Talks, not offers. The I Team believes they have something here and the wheel of punishment is on the line. Stay tuned for updates to come. Go I Team Go!