"DP Shut the Hell Up", How much is that doggie in the window

It’s always a bad hair day for McLovin
Today was McLovin’s hair reveal.  It wasn’t that big of a reveal and then the baseball cap went back on with McLovin not only complaining about the quality of his hair paint but the shortness of his hair as well.  Why cut and paint your hair and then not want to show it for six weeks?  Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the process?  This has happened twice now in four months.  McLovin's wife is tired of him talking about his hair and thinks he’s become self-centered.  McLovin, listen to your wife, she’s right.

It could be worse McLovin,
your hair could look like this

How much fun do you have at someone else’s expense on national TV?
A portion of Cris Collinsworth appearance was spent defending and clarifying what he said during Sunday night’s game.  Was Collinsworth out of line with his comments during the Jet’s minuteman display of the Keystone Kops?  If you execute that badly three plays in a row in less than one minute of play, what do you expect?  Stop being so sensitive and pull up your big boy pants.  Cris is being paid by NBC for his opinions, not to hold the hands of a floundering team and say that’s ok, everything will be alright, hand them a lollipop and send them on their merry way.

Now I'll go left, wait you go left, then I'll go back
and you go back then right, right?

Even a Marconi winner can have a bad set
For about six seconds during the halftime show Sunday, Dan didn’t realize he was on air.  His earpiece that sends him communication from the production booth stopped working and he didn’t realize it. Bob Costas had thrown the telecast to Dan and he just sat there enjoying what was happening around him.  Tony was looking panicked at Dan and a production person was waving their hand at the camera before Dan was able to figure out what was going on. Whoopsie!

Wow the lights look pretty at night

“DP, shut the hell up.”  
DP challenged Shaq to a free throw contest during Shaq's interview.  At stake: one of the cars Shaq sells to one of the Ram trucks Dan promotes.  How’s your show Shaq?  The answer to that question is that Shaq wouldn’t commit to the bet.  Time to buy a dog.

Don't be fooled,  all show - no go

How much is that doggie in the window?
How worried was McLovin about Jim Parson’s appearance?  Worried enough that he was begging and pleading during his box appearance for Parsons to please pick another Danette to be replaced when he visits other than him. He’s had problems with the poll question, his wife is down on him, just nothing is going right.  He asked Parsons to throw him a bone Must be he's thinking of getting a dog because he too, needs to buy a dog.

See my pretty white teeth?

Side note:
If you are considering pet ownership – Don’t shop adopt.  There are millions of wonderful homeless pets waiting for forever homes in shelters and rescues across the country just waiting for a loving, committed home.  A good resource for available pets for adoption through rescues and shelters is Petfinder.com where not only dogs and cats in your area are listed, but other species as well.

Visit www.Petfinder.com today!

Finally the time had come
Jim Parsons calls in during the final hour and after he compliments the back row they both take a big sigh of relief that neither of them are in danger if Parsons comes to the man cave.  Who does Jim think he could substitute for?  Two-a-Days! Two invites were given to Parsons: If you’re ever in NY on a Monday he can come to the NYC man cave.  They other is if his Texans make it to the Super Bowl he can come on set while the boys are there covering the week's activities.  What was he most excited about?  “OMG Swag!” that is coming his way. Such a lovable nerd.

Watch out Two-a-Days! Parsons is coming!

What we learned today
That the voting for the 2012 MVD (Most Valuable Danette) may have already closed and this year’s winner has already been decided.  Let the squirming in the Herman Miller mesh swivel chairs begin.

Whose butt sits in the
2012 MVD chair?

High manipulation, celebrity burns and itches

Jim Parsons has an itch and it’s bad
While appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jim Parsons, Emmy winner who plays Sheldon on CBS’s Big Bang Theory, spoke of his desire to join the show as an unpaid summer intern. He didn’t think he would be a big contributor but would love to be part of the Danettes, naming each of them as he continued to speak of his yearning. Could he replace McLovin?  Fritzy wouldn’t mind having him in the back row.  DP thought he could give the poll question results just as good as McLovin but McLovin wondered if he would be able to lie about the results the way he can.  As Jim said, he loves the show and thought for a long time how he would like to be a part of his favorite group of people in the world. He could learn about sports and make new friends.  The boys could always use another friend, especially a celebrity friend. Jay reminded him that Dan’s part of NBC now and Jay could give Dan a call. Parsons seemed giddy when he responded to the news: “Is he? Please try!”  For the betterment of the show McLovin would not take the summer off to make room for Jim to intern.  If Dan tried, he would be kicking and screaming as he was shoved out the door. Parsons can’t take over for Two-a-Days as he should be displayed on camera. In the box McLovin claimed he could do what any of the Danettes or Casey does but couldn’t answer the phones for Two-a-Days as he can get confused. (That explains a lot.)  The only other person he admitted he couldn’t replace was DP.  After trying to take The Box Score to break, he proved he couldn’t take over for Casey either.  Dan reminded McLovin that he put himself in the position to be expendable. OUCH!

Longing for a man cave invite

I like a non-sports poll question 
I’ve said it before and I like what I said.  I like a non-sports poll question that gets you to react.  Today we had two: Where would you rather get hit in a cheap shot – head, knees, junk? That was Paulie’s contribution.  The other came from Seton: Which is a better nickname Johnny Baseball or Johnny Football?  Personal preference is the first question It made me chuckle and visualize.  Dan was not so hot on either.  After Dan’s criticism McLovin quickly jumped ship and threw the blame at the originators but had Dan liked one of them he would have taken the credit. McLovin thinks this is a team when he’s looking for support but it’s all about him when things are going his way.  The clock is ticking McLovin, you need to get creative dude because the Locker Room and other audience members are licking their chops for their opportunity to take over the poll. Really, how much longer will DP let him twist in the wind before he cuts the cord on the poll.

Hit groin, hit ground, roll around in pain

Don’t stand so close to me!
Personal boundary lines were being crossed today as McLovin came up to speak to Seton as he was adjusting his waistband and belt at what was Seton’s face level.  Awkward!  Send in the Police!

Does my mid-section near your head make you nervous?

Touch down Jesus in the Notre Dame helmet?
Is there an image of Jesus in last week’s SI cover?  You can’t tell by the website but it’s evident in the enlarged cover poster sent to and on display in the man cave.  Divine intervention for this heavenly season?

Dear Touch Down Jesus, just one more win

To ESPY or not to ESPY, that is the question
A much unexpected invite came from the people who are doing the ESPY’s for Dan to attend.  In what capacity we’re not sure.  What we are sure of is that the invite didn’t come from ESPN management.
Dan was told he’d be treated like a king.  Definitely not words that would come from the mouth of Mothership management. Dan said he didn’t need to go, he’s been there and done that before and not all of it was good.  Dan’s left his mark, done his damage.  But what if he was given the opportunity to present with Hannah Storm.  Now that would be a smoke show.

Could this woman change
Dan's mind about the ESPY's?

Seton gets burned by a celebrity
Chris O’Donnell, most recently of NCIS LA fame, offered a stat of the day to Seton for the show.  Seton ran with it.  The only problem was that the stat was a stat that was used on many other shows the day before.  Had Seton only shared what he planned to do during the morning meeting he could have been spared the embarrassment.  Instead he chose to go with the – dude I’m good approach.  Lesson learned. Was the burn intentional? Is Chris O’Donnell an ESPN operative?

Seton's friend or foe?

Is Dan a selfish lover the way he’s a selfish baller?   
Can he take you all day on the court?  Can he make it all night long?  The answer is nope to both. But he can give you ten minutes of electrifying offense.  Hope he’s a quality scorer in both of those ten minutes. DP, say it isn’t so, that you’re on your way to Viagraville.

T minus 3 to launch of ______

What’s your definition of high manipulation?
Sven in CA called in with five phrases that Jon Gruden said during the Monday Night Football game that made no sense to him.  One of those phrases was High Manipulation.  Fritzy had his own definition that everyone anticipated. Oh pervy Fritzy, I shake my head.

The music beats to only his drum

Sometimes an Ivy League education just isn't enough
There has been more than one occasion that McLovin has spoken a word in a way that almost no one else would pronounce it.  Today was one of those occasions.  The phrase was: double-edged sword.  The word he could not pronounce was sword.  McLovin pronounces the w instead of making it silent.  It was so funny that Dan gagged on his Starbucks yogurt.  This just led to more of what McLovin called Danette on Danette crime when then room filled with laughter.  Between this and all the Jim Parson comments from Dan and the pre-reveal teasing by the other Danettes about the painted hair and not taking a shower for two days in a row was too much for him to handle. There was a short who’s been picked on more lately back and forth between the back row. The front row was described as hard working, lunch pail kind of guys where those words would not be used for the back row. McLovin complained about cliques in the man cave and Dan offered to get together again to talk about this – maybe.  Oh, Dan must be so tired sometimes when he leaves the studio.

Maybe this speaking module can help McLovin

Lupus steals a young life, NFL coach yard sale

The show came to you from the NYC vacation man cave - 

If you’re a former NFL head coach do you hold a yard sale?
Tony dungy doesn’t wear any of his Buccaneers or Colts gear or either of his Super Bowl rings.  Now I can understand not wearing the rings.  They’re big, they’re expensive and not something you’d want on your hand if you were washing the car.  But what about the clothing?  Ok, so you’re an analyst and you want to be objective.  I’m not saying wear it during interviews or while on air but you could still wear it while you’re cleaning your gutters, taking out the trash, lounging around watching pro-bowling or sleeping if you don’t go bare.  At some point his wife is going to say that stuff is taking up too much space in the closet or basement and it’s going to have to go.  Tony, whatever you don’t give to charity to auction off you can send my way.  Thanks – me

I'd look good in this sweet sweater vest

Does Fritzy have a ghostwriter?
Fritzy’s MNF song was good, really good, maybe too good.  Did he get help from his professional writing brother?  When confronted by Dan, he couldn’t produce the script. It was on his brother’s computer.  Hmmm  His brother’s computer.  His brother that lives and works in California and writes for a living computer.  We heard a letter from the brother saying he in no way had anything to do with the MNF song.  Things just aren’t fitting together.  Great MNF song, on brother’s computer, not Fritzy’s…something’s fishy in the aquarium.  Too bad his brother didn’t help Fritzy with today’s mock headlines.

Did an ugly truth about a MNF song come out?

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about USC” Drama
Jim Mora Jr. is still a big thing.  Why is he still a big thing?  Because he’s making a stink over words that came out of his mouth on DP’s show.  Jim you said it.  It was not taken out of context. It was not edited. Go to The Dan Patrick Show website. The full interview is posted for your listening pleasure. After you sit quietly in a dark room and listen to the words coming out of your mouth, take your lumps, don’t be a high school girl - put on your big boy pants, call DP and give him an apology for bad mouthing a Marconi winner. Oh, well.  So Jim won’t be back on the show by his choice.  His loss, not ours.

I.Did.Not.Say.Rat's.Ass Grrrr

McLovin Jealousy and Hair Paint

Who spent time with Dan during the Thanksgiving weekend?  Not McLovin.  Dan and his son and Seton and his son all got together during the long weekend and did what multi-generational males do. Whatever it was, it was the highlight of Dan’s weekend.   Once again there were no pictures. Just like a previous Thanksgiving Dan/Seton get together there was no photographic evidence.  A little odd since Seton is one of the shows Twitter kings. In a move to shift the attention back to him, McLovin will have a painted hair reveal on Wednesday.  The blogger, who truly wants to be a talking hair do, thought his hair paint over the weekend didn’t go so well, had Dan look at it in private and got a two day hat permit.

Mani's, spray tans, paint -
so high maintenance

Fritzy’s Sharp Left Pervy Turn
In some crazy attempt to become relevant in the conversation about McLovin’s hair paint and how the camera shows your flaws - Fritzy contributed:  “TV adds a few inches”, “I’ve had some alone time in the back”, “Sometimes I hang out with the cleaning lady and we play cards”, “That (the groan from the back) was from the person who deals cards when we play strip poker”.  What goes through this man’s head while the show is in progress is amazing sometimes.

Not my idea of a great
strip poker view

Condolences 
To the Kevin McHale family in the loss of Kevin’s daughter, Alexandra “Sasha” McHale, who passed away Saturday at the age of 23 of complications from Lupus.  Kevin is the head coach of the Houston Rockets.  

To learn more about Lupus, please visit www.lupus.org

Giving Thanks for Football and More

Thank You

First Responders – you do something I would not be able to do putting your bodies and emotions on the line every day to help your communities stay safe and aid us when in need.

American Red Cross – for being there in times of disaster and need.  Many of the victims of Hurricane Sandy are not going to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with their normal traditions.  They’re having to do the best they can with what they have left, or what they are being offered this year.  My wish for them is that before next Thanksgiving their lives are back to being their own.  The need is still there. 


Website:  www.redcross.org 

Text: To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone:  1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018 
        Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.

Men and women of our military - you risk their lives abroad and can not be with their families today.  I wish God speed in getting you all back home safe and sound.  You keep our country the land of the free and we will remain the home for you, the brave. 

Organizations, non-profits and volunteers - they support so many necessary causes both human and animal.  I can not imagine what our world would be like without you.

Faith, family and friends - I hold all dear, past and present, thank you for being there when I need you.  To those that have and do shape my life in education and experience both good and bad, thank you.

Readers and followers - I wouldn't be here, on this page, without you.

A full day of football coverage - from the time that I wake to the time I rest to help distract from those things about gathering with family that aren’t so great, thank you.

Have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

May your Thanksgiving be more or less
Looney as mine!

More important than the damn Emmy, I like it stuffed in the can, Bonus videos

More Important Than the Damn Emmy 
Dan must have caught the green eyed monster bug and gotten it from McLovin on Monday. You could hear it in Dan’s voice before, during and after the interview and into the next segment after break regarding Jack Taylor, shooting guard, for Grinnell College. For that kid to do something that Dan was never given the opportunity to do – a green light, to shoot as often as he got the ball, to get national recognition, to receive no assists, to score 110 more points than he had scored before in any college game, it was all too much for Dan to handle. His true frustration was with the coaches – let the other Grinnell kids play and for Faith Baptist – execute some defense! Danny Jaw Face was out and all over the place. Seton even told Dan he was better than that. For a forever frustrated baller, the numbers and recognition this kid received were more important than "the damn Emmy" Dan had on his desk. The audio replay of the game call from the college student announcer was just. plain. funny. I wonder who that student was aspiring to be. Being a low funded program, getting a souvenir for the man cave is going to be slim. Looks like Dan is going to have to settle for autographed, game worn socks. Woof!

This person in white brought out the
green monster in Dan 

I Like It Stuffed in the can? 
How do you like your cranberry sauce? Gelled or traditional? Dan likes his in the can – ba da boom. An audience member offered a more Fritzy-esk poll question: Stuffing – wife, mother, mother-on-law? Two of those three are just sick.

Yummy or Yucky?

Dan Patrick Show bonus videos:
Thanksgiving Coffee Break with McLovin and Seton Pays Up on His Bet. Both are guaranteed to at least make you smile.

www.danpatrick.com

It’s a Beer and Wings Kind of DayGet the wings on the plate, sauce on the side and a cold one ready in a frosty mug. Here come Dan and the boys!

Paulie - annoyed with the disruption
Dan - focused on what's on TV
Fritzy - food focused
Seton - the photographer (Thank You!)

So Sad, No Dad - Get Well Soon Dan!

So Sad, No Dad

It’s feeling like its going to be an ultra short week for viewers of The Dan Patrick Show.  Dan was out sick today.  For those familiar with the show, they know that Dan must have really been sick to not have come in.  Mid to long time audience members remember the day when Dan came to work sick and would lay down during commercial breaks.  That’s the dedication Dan has in making this the Super Bowl every day.

So what may happen the rest of the week?  I hate to think it but…if Dan isn’t better tomorrow, that’ll be a bust. Then there’s the Thanksgiving turkey - encore presentation. Then Friday will be black for more than just retail stores, as Dan and the boys are out there with the other crazies getting the best deals on holiday gift giving and stimulating the economy.  Sadly, by my math, that would mean only one Dan day this week if Dan isn’t back tomorrow.

It’s ok that radio airtime was filled by a sports radio show anchor, Seth Evans???  Sorry Seth, I don’t know you. I’m sure you’re a good person/analyst but you just couldn’t keep my attention.  I need more than just a normal sports show.  The TV encore presentation was the colorful pants edition, but it’s just not the same as the real thing. Ain’t nothin’ like the real thing baby, ain’t nothin’ like the real thing.  At least when there is a planned Dan absence they are able to have the guest host in the man cave. The Danette interaction brings the show closer to atmosphere and content when Dan is there.

Sending well wishes Dan’s way –

Wonder what the Danette’s did today while Dan was out sick?  Here’s a quick look in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu7ZfmNX4fk&feature=youtu.be

Gamblers love company, prison uniform anyone?

Coming to you from the NYC long weekend studio -

Prison Uniform Anyone?
Are you one to fall for the latest marketing ploy? The Pittsburgh Steelers are hoping so with the jersey the players wore during the SNF game. Certainly neither McLovin, nor I would wear this prison uniform replica so why would you? Wear it to the wrong state or city you may be getting more than you asked for in return for your investment.

Without the name, do you think chain gang
or football member

Peter Makes New Friends
What will get you lots of unwanted attention? Tweet your personal phone number. We’ve heard or seen this done before either accidentally by the owner or intentionally by someone holding a grudge or pranking someone. Most recently, Peter King did this to himself. 350+ calls and 270+ texts later he has changed his number and upset PR people across a nation.

Peter is lonely no more

Someone Made Dad Mad
Another way to tick Dan off – don’t watch him on TV when he uses your material from the show during major network time. This is what happened Sunday. Dan dropped the "Little Buckaroo" tag on the Buccaneer highlights expecting he would get a thank you from Fritzy. Nothing. No text, no email, no phone call, not even an acknowledgement when he came in this morning. What did Dan get from Fritzy? A text about Faith Hill and Byron Leftwich’s legs. What was Fritzy doing when Dan bestowed this honor? Listening to the Broncos game. No surprise, but Todd should have watched or listened to the taped broadcast before he got to work in the morning. You never know when dad will throw a life test your way. Don’t look for this opportunity to come along again anytime soon Fritzy. Dad was sulky and mad most of the show.  Good job bro.

Text-worthy legs

I Want You Back
Could we see another new hairstyle from McLovin? Don’t be surprised if you do. Dan was complimenting Seton again today on how well the bet cut looked on him, comparing him to Brad Pitt from one of his movies. The green eyed jealousy monster came out of McLovin once again. What will McLovin do to get Dan’s attention back?

If you turn out the lights, are
these McLovin's eyes?

Coffee Table Idea
Quickie interview with new Cup Champ, Brad Keselowski, as they were going up against the hard break. Brad did manage a total of three hours sleep after taking a little too much advantage of his sponsor’s product, Miller Lite beer. He had that raspy alcohol voice that made him sound as if he had been a long time smoker. His only thought during the race was, don’t screw up. Gotta wonder if that went out the window after a few gigantic glasses of beer. Did you see any of his post race interviews? Maybe the end of that motivational speech Ray Lewis left on his phone said …and party like a rock star after you take the championship. Dan wondered how much of what Brad does is to be an entertainer. All Brad knew was that when he is an entertainer, it tends to get him in trouble or cost him money like it did last week, 25K. Maybe he got into trouble last night, maybe today, he doesn’t know yet but he’ll be able to afford it a little more now after he gets his cut of the 5.6+ million dollar check coming his way from winning the championship. What is a red flag like for a driver in comparison to the average person? Like sitting in the parking lot at the grocery store and you’d rather be checking out what’s going on elsewhere than go inside. Roger Penske, the car owner, will be keeping the winning car for his museum, so nothing coming to the man cave there. Dan was interested that they recycle the cars that will no longer be used and then crush them. Maybe a nice car cube table for the green room would be useful.

Just a the remote and a few
magazines and you're good

Gamblers Love Company
Always entertaining, Shae in Irving with his love/hate relationship with his Cowboys and his weekend gambling stories. Comical how he tried to get Dan to come back to the fold. Shout out to the sneaky good audience member who got a sign calling out Shae in Irving on ESPN College Game Day.