Life Decisions

Life Decisions

From the availability of posts from before to now, some of you may be wondering "What the heck!" It isn’t that I have left the ranks of loyal followers, it’s that life has taken a turn and with that came life decisions. 

My father has been diagnosed with cancer from an unnamed source. The process that follows a cancer diagnosis has been difficult for everyone, especially my parents who are in their 70’s and my brother who is the closest to my father. From multiple doctor visits to absorbing all that we have been told has been stressful at times and we haven’t even made it to the surgery yet, which is next week. There will be lots of traveling back and forth between the city I live, the city I work, the city the hospital is in and the city my parents live. Of course, nothing can be easy. If it were, you would never appreciate what you have.

With all that being said, the time that I have had for the show and the blog is gone, for now. I’ll continue to tune in to the show when I can, but it hasn’t been or won’t be on a daily basis at this time or for awhile it appears. I plan on getting the blog back up and running at some point, but when that will be is up in the air.

If cancer has touched your life in some way, I hope you have chosen a way to fight back. May your life experiences now and in the future be filled with good health.

Blogging off for now -

Dan Patrick Show – More Than Sports

Touchy Touchy, Compare and Compliment, NASCAR Alert

Touchy Touchy 

Marshall calling foul on DP

When you first read the title your mind probably thought of Fritzy saying something inappropriate or a physical extension of the "Love You" saga. For those that were able to watch today, maybe a sensitivity to the front row and back row being color coordinated in charcoal gray for the front and royal blue for the back. No, none of those things. It was Gregg Marshall from Wichita State being sensitive about the comments Jeff Goodman of CBS Sports of Marshall made about him not being considered for other jobs because of his abrasive personality. Marshall felt he was being ambushed right at the beginning of the first time he had ever been interviewed by DP and it showed in the interview. There was no foresight given to DP by the Danettes on the way to, or not to set up the interview with Marshall, only hindsight and criticism afterwards. What was more awkward, the defensive fall out from Marshall to DP during the interview or the back peddling from the Danettes after the interview was over? Sure you want to inform a guest about what another guest said about them earlier on the show, and DP is the front man, but come on guys, speak up! What a tough sell it was for mock headlines following that exchange. 

Compare and Compliment 

Player reaction to the injury says it all

Yes it is true, on the blog I have dished out plates of grief that the show has a limited outreach when it comes to NASCAR. Today DP chose to compare the CBS coverage of the Kevin Ware broken leg to the last lap, final turn of the Daytona 500 tragedy that killed Dale Earnhardt Sr. Sometimes the less shown is the most said and that was the case in both situations. Showing the reaction of the players from both teams, the coach, the fans in the stands said more than showing Kevin Ware’s injury itself. The reaction of Ken Schrader, the safety crew, Dale Jr. when he got the news that his father had crashed, the fans in the stands, once again, saying more than if the actual view in car had been shown. The old adage is true, less is more.

NASCAR Alert

Thumbs up but Denny's
expected out for the
next five races

Friend of the show, Denny Hamlin is scheduled for Wednesday. Certainly his relationship with Joey Logano and his recovery from the back injury obtained from his inside wall crash at Fontana will be topics of discussion. Although an older subject, possibly his 25K fine from NASCAR after his Gen5 to Gen6 car comparison will come up as well. He is also a new dad, Dan, so there’s a warm ‘n fuzzy for you. Funny that you have to be a friend of the show to get on the show if you’re in NASCAR. Surely if Fritzy or Paulie picked up the phone and contacted other drivers, crew chiefs or owners they would discover that they could have more NASCAR friends of the show than what they realize.

Love You! Whatever...., Bracketology, Bittersweet Acknowledgement and More

Less College Basketball, More Danette Drama 

Soon it will all be over

Ok, ok, so the blog has been a little inactive lately. Let’s face it, there hasn’t been a lot of non-sports related story lines lately on the Dan Patrick Show thanks to March Madness and the coaching carousel. Now that April is here, certainly the drama will return in full force, we hope. For what non-sports has occurred lately:





Love You! Whatever… 

Time to move on from Love You?

There has been a small love-fest that began with Seth Davis from SI/CBS that has had a little bit of carry over to other guests and callers while the blog has been down. The problem hasn’t been that Seth started it, it has been that Dan became too comfortable after awhile with it and was replying back too quickly or initiating the salutation himself. Time to find something else.

Job not in Jeopardy

What is, won't be hosting this show.

Don’t worry Alex Trebek, DP isn’t coming for your job. Can’t say that about the rest of the rumored replacements, but it won’t be Dan. One: There is no way that any of the Danettes can fill in for Dan if he needs to be away to tape the show based on their skill levels and ego tussles amongst the group. Two: It’s too difficult to show a sense of humor or highlight your personality in that format. You can’t keep a good man down! So good luck Jeopardy producers, you can remove one more name from the hot list.

Bittersweet Acknowledgement 

Costas expected to take
the Emmy again this
year for Olympic coverage

Dan has once again, and rightfully so, been nominated for a sports Emmy in the category of best studio host. The show as a whole was not recognized. How can you have one without the other? The percentage of contribution Dan provides the show is greater than the contributions of the rest but could those contributions have been so inferior that the voting committee passed the show by? Really people, put it together: One host plus four Danettes equals one show Emmy nomination. How hard was that math?!?

Bracketology 

Can't get enough of DP in
his Grown Ups 2 shorts

What started out as a ho hum punishment had gotten better in time. McLovin the bracket master, who had used his wife and child as an excuse to create two unfinished copies of his bracket, had served out his punishment over the past five shows. The Dartmouth basketball uniform that he began the punishment with was just so unsatisfactory. Shorts too loose and long, socks too long, long sleeve Under Armour compression shirt under the tank – fail. McLovin likes to dress up, this was too easy and Paulie knew it. So the heat got turned up and the last three days the shorts got shorter and each time they got shorter they got a little tighter. Who paid more for McLovin’s punishment? It certainly didn’t seem like McLovin, the audience or Dan. The punishment actually drifted over to the front row as McLovin made his "presence" known as he approached and hovered over Seton and especially Paulie. Now that was entertainment. Not as much as will be seen when Grown Ups 2 comes out this summer and DP will be sporting his "Bill Walton" short shorts but McLovin’s showing was good enough for day time television. 

Sometimes It's Personal, Selective Hearing, Love You Dan!

Sometimes It’s Personal 

Something Dan has been able to do since leaving ESPN more than anything else is express himself when a topic hits the heart. Recent examples are Hurricane Sandy, the Penn State child abuse and cover up case, the suicide of the bartender/friend at the Seven Seas and on Tuesday, alcoholism. Tim Cowlishaw has written a book, Drunk on Sports, about his alcoholism and recovery and was a guest. After the interview Dan spoke of his personal experience reminding us that there is a history of alcoholism within his family and offering a little of what his family went through towards the end of his father’s life with his battle with alcohol. It’s times like these that make this show so endearing to its audience. 
　
Selctive Hearing

Food City 500 Winner

The show gave NASCAR a little love Monday with the play of the day clip featuring Kasey Kahne going over the line to win the Food City 500 at Bristol. Dan quipped that drivers know they’re being recorded so what they say on the radio isn’t genuine because it’s always nice and complimentary even when you did poorly. DP obviously has heard Kyle or Kurt Busch or Tony Stewart on a bad day.

Love You Dan !  

Seth doesn't need to buy a dog to express
DP love

Monday’s awkward moment for Dan came when Seth Davis of SI and CBS said he loved Dan. This is twice in a year that DP has been told by one of his guest that they loved him. The other was Dion Sanders. That comment was less awkward because of the conversation content that surrounded that response. When men can say that to other men is uncomfortable for Dan and Paulie. Let’s face it, it pains Paulie to have fun or personal moments. Fritzy and Seton, not so much, especially if Seton has been in his cups. DP can say it somewhat comfortably to a father or a son but for him, even saying it to a brother is a bit too touchy feely. Chris in Ohio and a couple of others ended their phone calls that way, poking the bear. Too bad not all of the callers today pushed that button.

No Go Game Show, Host Hair

No Go Game Show

With the rumor of Matt Lauer, of the Today Show, taking over hosting duties of Jeopardy from Alex Trebek, the way Meredith Viera did with Who Wants to be a Millionaire from Regis Philbin, game show story time returned.  For awhile, DP was on the short list of who to contact should a game show hosting gig open up.

 When Bob Barker of The Price Is Right gave the go ahead for Dan as one of his possible replacements, Dan was busy covering the NBA Finals in San Antonio.  PIR producers wanted to do a set test with DP and even offered to make a set in San Antonio for screen test.  What they wouldn’t do is tell Dan what he would make.  When he inquired, the response was that they would tell him once he accepted the job.  In whose world does that work other than Hollywood?  

Needless to say, he passed.  Nowadays the only game shows DP would consider would be Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, the mother of Wheel of Punishment.  Dan would freshen up WOF just a bit to be more viewer friendly.  Vanna - bye bye.  Bring in two new shorties, one for vowels, the other for consonants.  Gotta give the audience what they want.

Host Hair
Who has better host hair?  Alex Trebek, Fake Alex Trebek, Matt Lauer, Dan Patrick or Bob Barker? All have hair helpers of one type or another.  Gotta go with go big or go home.  

Showing Colors, Loves Him Some Rubio, LVD Becoming a Reality

Showing Colors 

So long Pats, hello Broncos

Fritzy was in the words of Phil from Duck Dynasty, “Happy Happy Happy” today.  When the news of Wes Welker going from the Patriots to the Broncos hit, Fritzy was surely celebrating in his zubaz pants.  Choosing which Bronco items to wear and what to leave home must have been pleasurable torture.  How much was too little, what was too much.  Visions of a Super Bowl trophy, shiny and bright, must have been a highlight in Todd’s dreams Wednesday night.  Fritzy in a happy mood makes Seton nuts.  The cooing over the phone with Rich Eisen, from the NFL Network, was just too sugary sweet.  The papal mock headlines were good throughout but the shamrock shake PSA was a colossal fail.  He was even, should I dare say it, a little cocky, getting up during break and standing in one of DP and Seton’s break talks.  Before long Seton will have his chance to be sickening too with all of his Yankee play of the day clips and Jeter references.   Soon Seton, soon, your day will be here.

Loves Him Some Rubio 

Getting props from Mannix long time

Occasional guest host, Chris Mannix of SI, called in Thursday as Chris in New York to berate DP for not giving Ricky Rubio of the Timberwolves, what Chris felt, was some much deserved love.  You could almost get a clear visual of Mannix sitting on the edge of his chair, red faced, hair standing straight up and hands waving as Chris’ voice raised trying to make his points to DP.  Well, at least Rubio has one fan that refuses to give up, even though he can’t shoot.  Yes Chris, we know, he can still learn to shoot. 

LVD Becoming a Reality 

Who will be the shining LVD star for March?

The least valuable Danette award is getting closer to becoming a reality.  The crystal star award was revealed along with its monthly award status.  Up in the air was the value of voting.  Would fans be allowed to vote? It would help to have an outside opinion away from the behind the scenes office politics. What weight would their vote have?  Would the Danettes be comfortable voting, especially if it was a public vote?  The only one who said they would not was Fritzy, so by majority rule, the Danettes get to vote too.  The award is not retro fitted so the first LVD will be for the month of March.  Only 17 days and counting.  Get your stupid on boys!

69 89 86, Is Your Poll Up, Salty Great One, Do You Feel the Heat + More

69, 89, 86, It’s Not All the Same 

I 86'd you man not that other thing!

When using numbers in analogies, sometimes it’s important to use the right ones.  Just ask Charles Barkley.  Since Tiger Woods won this weekend, Dan had inquired if Barkley was still in touch with Tiger and congratulated him since DP knew Charles and Tiger were tight at one time.  What Barkley meant to say was that Tiger had eighty-sixed the relationship.  What came out as Barkley fumbled for the right thing to say was Tiger had sixty-nined the relationship.  Quite a difference in what those numbers mean.  DP even turned a bit red as he corrected the big man.  Must wonder where Fritzy’s mind went when he heard those words.

Broke Back Mountain Isn’t About an Injury 

Doug, this is not the beginning
 of a sleeper hold

While 69, 89 and 86 aren’t the same, Broke Back Mountain and a movie about injuries aren’t the same either. Dear Doug Glanville - know your references!  Yankee fans must have been choking on something when they first heard this.  Just like Pride of the Yankees wasn’t about what lies beneath the jock strap, Broke Back Mountain doesn’t apply to injury-ridden players.







Is Your Poll Up?

Strong Poll?

Over and over again the poll question is an area of agitation for Dan.  Either there isn’t a question or he doesn’t like the question.  It doesn’t matter if the question comes from McLovin, another Danette, or the audience.  Nothing really satisfies Dan.  So what if there was no poll question.  Back in the ESPN days DP got rid of the poll question.  The show seemed to survive without it.  Let’s face it, even at Dan’s age, he wants a strong poll.  Is the poll question such a vital part of the show that it would make a difference to the audience tuning in or not?  Would McLovin’s pay actually be less if there were not poll question?  If McLovin’s most important role was the poll question, would he still have a job?  The audience at one point was going to be able to vote on if there should still be a poll question but that never happened.  The question still hangs; Should your poll be up or hang low?  Oh yeah, way in on the pole isn’t the same as weigh in on the poll either. 

Salty Great One

No salt for you!

Story time with the great one, Wayne Gretzy: While having dinner with Charles Barkley in Barkley’s home, Barkley’s wife said: “Great One, pass me the salt.”  As Gretzy thought the reference was to him, he reached across the table for the salt only to have Barkley intercept him and say:  “I’m the only great one in this house.”  Wonder if in that house they prefer the poll to hang low or be up?






Do You Feel the Heat?

DP's the flame, Fritzy's pan is trying to stay away

Fritzy wants to be more, do more.  He wants a title and responsibilities of a Coordinating Producer, not just a Booker.  DP is trying to get him there, but let’s face it, patient mentor Dan is not.  Fritzy is learning to connect guests and story lines together but until he feels comfortable with that he falls back on taking credit for the number or names of guests that are scheduled.  As Dan says, it’s just a name on the page or chalkboard, it’s what DP does with the guest in the interview that makes the difference.  So in a take on booking scared, Fritzy was tweeting scared last night posting almost the same tweet three times in seven minutes.  It’s burning down there and it’s not from an STD. 

The Master Going to the Masters

The Master Going to the Masters 

Dan will be going to the Masters in Augusta and this will not be a joint road trip with the Danettes. Sad faces did not change his mind. Dan held strong. Why no Danettes for this one? Fear. Fear that the Danettes will embarrass him at the prestigious golf tournament by shouting "You da man!" or getting caught trying on one of the historic green jackets. If they called out something stupid on the grounds DP would just have to stab them. 

Who will DP see wear the green jacket this year?

Not that Dan would know anything about trying on green jackets. DP made a trip to Augusta once before and took a wrong turn coming out of the bathroom only to find himself in the champions locker room. Open a locker or two and there she is. A green jacket. This one belonging to Jack Nicholas. He has to slip her on to see how she felt. A little tight, but Dan didn’t mind sliding into something tight. It felt good and that’s all that mattered.



 

Fritzy All A-Rousey, Seton Shooting Low, WOP on the Line

WOP On The Line 
We have a little while to wait, but there is a Wheel of Punishment bet on the line with the national title game.  If Indiana or Duke wins the national title, Dan has to take Paulie to dinner and Seton spins the wheel in place of DP.  If neither Indiana nor Duke win the national title, Paulie has to spin the wheel, but DP does not need to take Seton to dinner, even though he probably will since he’s closest to Seton of all the Danettes.  Is Seton adding up points
for 2013 MVD?  You bet he is!

Seton Shooting Low

Seton has been taking shots at the boss lately.  In defending his position, he landed a low blow to the fellow Danettes saying DP already has three yes men, he doesn’t need a fourth.  Once the newness of DP’s surgery wore off, Seton’s been taking advantage of the wounded like a lion attacking a gazelle with a broken leg. 





Fritzy All A-Rousey 

MMA fighter Ronda Rousey, UFC Bantamweight Champion, was booked on the Thursday show and hours before coming on Fritzy was already in creepville.  Her pre-fight preparation and the fact that she could physically dominate him put one Todd Fritz’s mind into fantasyland.  Female to male sports domination became the poll and studio question of the day.  Poll takers were fine with it, as well as Seton – sort of, if it was his wife taking him in soccer yes – otherwise not so sure, Paulie – Jennifer Lawrence much more superior archer, McLovin – Rebecca Lobo in basketball no problems and Fritzy – any woman could beat him in anything and he wouldn’t mind.  Dan, he has issues with a woman being able to beat him.  By the way, Dan doesn’t care to watch women fighting in any form.  It’s just not enjoyable for him.  For Dan, a woman doesn’t have to prove that she is tough.  For anyone who has been through childbirth, you will understand that point of view.  

Competition Through and Through + More

Competitive Through and Through 

Did he smile like this when DP
told him to move his fat ass?

Once a competitor, always a competitor. At least that’s what runs through the blood of one Dan Patrick. In a pick up basketball game with his fellow ESPN sportscasters at the time, DP was characteristic of what Carmello Anthony is today. The mouthy, selfish baller had no love for his co-workers. Even those that were playing on the same side as him. Once again, story time with Dan was entertaining with an assist from Jason Jackson, former ESPNer. Oh the good old days.



80’s Crooner or Nails on a Chalk Board 

Fritzy-stuck in an '80's Rick Astley video

Fritzy’s been taking hits over the last two days about his singing. This includes changing the poll question to ask if he should be allowed to continue to sing on the show. The voters chose to allow him to sing but I have to admit, when Fritzy sings the only songs he can, Rick Astley or Hall and Oates, either I cringe or turn the volume down. It’s not the artists, it’s his interpretation of the artists. Maybe if there were the background music playing to help tone down his voice it wouldn’t be as bad. He needs to grow beyond two artists and three or four songs. Not sure what John Legend and Darius Rucker see in him but God bless him for trying. Not many people I know would have the guts to sing on radio or TV. For those that aren’t this crooner’s fan, cover your ears America. He’s not going away.

The Pendulum Swings the Other Way 

DP's mood - not as soft as the angry chair

Seton and Fritzy took strikes at the boss, his ability to sing and his group dominance. Seton claims Dan can’t sing and Fritzy claims he sings better than DP. Fritzy continued to poke at the bear saying Dan needs to be the center of attention and the funniest guy in the room. Of course Dan felt the opposite on both counts. McLovin swayed both ways. He said Dan was a liar, that Dan would hold negative comments about him against those that made the comment although Dan said he would not for things that were said in the box or on The Box Score. Then McLovin turned the page in the next breath and went back to sucking up to the boss again. Dan has not been in a good way just before and since his shoulder surgery. It’s like he’s always in the angry chair even when he’s not. The Danettes must say prayers each night that the next morning DP will be in a better mood that lasts the entire show. The completion of the rehab and healing process can’t come soon enough. DP is cranky watching the guys shoot hoops and take swings on the golf simulator from the sidelines. Not much fun for DP or the Danettes. Entertaining though for the audience.





 

Ridin' High Falling Forward, Dan Loves LA, Swag Scammers

Swag Scammers 

Jerry West in top form

It was an easy Valentines Day for Seton and Paulie as they achieved their goals of taking home the ProFlowers.com promotional flowers in the man cave for their wives.  Not that they fessed up right away and used semantics to their advantage, but eventually the truth came out. Fritzy had a good scam as well by scoring a NBA all-star jersey for himself when Dan was getting his. Fritzy didn’t include the other Danettes in the deal but then again the man cave isn’t always share and share alike.  Fritzy folded like a cheap chair when Dan confronted him. He’s not as quick on his feet as the front row when it comes to camouflage.  Dan’s all star tribute jersey to Jerry West was added to the man cave today – the west all star team, Jerry’s number, 44, with the Laker’s logo but Dan’s name on the back.


Ridin’ High, Falling Forward

Did Lopez look like this after
McLovin's one-two punch?

McLovin was basking in glory for a short period of time today when he delivered two spanking one liners against Brook Lopez from the Brooklyn Nets.  It must be that tough Dartmouth/Stanford rivalry. Also, it’s easy to be a big man from the other side of the mic.  Then McLovin has to try to show off his athleticism and husbandry skills.  He tried to jump over the top of a 1/64th die cast car to dunk a basketball and ended up stepping on the car, scratching it and then landed against the new ball rack, breaking it.  Finally, trying to be a good husband by staying home instead of going to LA for the B-Dubs meet and greet he told his wife’s age on national radio/TV.  Typical McLovin smoothness. 

Dan Loves LA 

Ok, this isn’t exactly LA, it may be Huntington Beach.  If you’re in the area and you’re a DP fan, you have to stop by Saturday, February 23rd 11:00 – 1:00 Huntington Beach Buffalo Wild Wings, 7811 Edinger Avenue. Meet and Greet with Dan, Paulie, Seton and Fritzy.  Don’t know about Casey or Two-a-Days, sorry.  No McLovin, his wife’s birthday party is next weekend.  

Shifting Gears 

Will DP ever see the tunnel like I
will soon?

There will not be any updates to the blog for a bit.  On my way to Daytona for Speed Week. Too bad the show doesn’t have much interest in the second largest sport in the U.S. other than having the 500 winner, the season champion, and the popularity machine of Jr. and/or Danica.  Not like there weren’t any stories that happened during the ten months of the season or off-season 2012/2013. The surprise of 2012 was when there was the bonus of Denny Hamlin when he initiated the visits himself. Still love the show, just wish Dan would open his mind to more than the stick and ball sports he can find time to talk about 779 of the 780 hours of the show per year.  Borrowing words from Bonnie Bernstein from a totally different subject: Evolve. Accept. Embrace. Enough of the rant, track bound.

Is it all an act?, Under the top, Don't touch me!, Down goes Fritzy

Down Goes Fritzy

It may be the day of love, but there was no love for Fritzy in the man cave today. The other Danettes took over valentine related sports words, his mock headlines were atrocious, he couldn’t even get his poll question suggestions all the way out of his mouth before getting shot down. If Fritzy wasn’t sexually frustrated by the end of the day by the events of the last three days……….…watch out Mrs. Fritz! 

Don’t Touch Me! 

If you resemble this, you have a
pretty good shot at getting a hug

Dan and the Danettes seem to have attributes similar to fish: Scaly and slimy, big eyes with opened mouths and sadly, cold to the touch. Hug, forget it unless you’re a drop dead gorgeous woman. Hand shake, no thank you unless you’re a celebrity and insist, knucks are preferred, sort of. High fives, rarely if you’re in the front row only, or a celebrity they don’t want to offend. But if they’ve tipped a few, you’re chances will increase. So here’s some advice: Unless you are a top specimen of the female form, and you would like some type of physical contact with Dan or a Danette, either catch them after they have consumed a quantity of adult beverages or ply them with such beverages and after a suitable amount of time and consumption, then attempt contact. Do not attempt unless the above apply.

Is it all an act?

As the show was coming back from its second break, you could hear Seton say the words: "a character I play." That got some thoughts rolling. Are Dan and the Danettes all characters that are being played out five days a week on the radio/TV? Dan Patrick isn’t Dan’s real name. Are Paul Pabst, Patrick O’Conner, Todd Fritz and Andrew Perloff their real names? Are they really the way they seem? Could you really drink as much/often as Seton and hold a technical position on morning radio/TV? Could you really be as needy and insecure as Fritzy and still be able to book guests as well as he does? Does McLovin really watch that little sports and that much TV and movies that target a female audience? Could Paulie really love soccer that much? Does Dan really think that the group he has assembled can operate at perfection? Are they real or are they parts each person plays? Just wonderin’.

Under the Top 

Are you a beer drinker? If not a beer drinker, do you know someone who is? Have you/they tried Audible Ale? If not, why not? Pop the top and look underneath. Recognize anything? Maybe it’s your name, someone else’s name or a catch phrase you’ve heard before. If you have someone who is popping your top for you, ask him, or her, what they’ve got underneath.



　

Who'd You Rather?, Not Ladies Men

    Who’d You Rather? 

Intimidation...

With the SI cover of Michael Jordan turning 50, conversation and the poll question was based on who would you rather play with – Michael Jordan a selfish player who treated his teammates with intimidation to try to make them better? Or, LeBron James who is not a selfish player who tries to make his teammates better through encouragement and mentoring? From working with both leadership styles, it doesn’t come down to who they are necessarily, but you. What is your natural personality response to a domineering or a nurturing personality? Sure you can adjust your own personality style to work better with either leadership type, but when push comes to shove and the right button is pushed, your natural personality response always come out. Good or bad, it is what it is.

or encouragement?

            Not Ladies Men

Lovable...

This could also be titled how not to have a happy marriage. Something the back row has still to figure out after all these years is what to say and how to handle yourself around beautiful women and then once you are home. Time and time again McLovin and Fritzy don’t know how to do either. Could this lead back to the formative relationship years? Their natural personalities and what that desires in the type of women they dated/married? What experiences they had or didn’t have in high school and college? Who they would rather be than who they are? Of course it does. The front row and Dan have learned and practice this well. They’re smooth about the process from beginning to end. The back row begins screwing up days before the model or actress crosses their path. Dan, Paulie, Seton and even Casey try to coach Fritzy and McLovin, but do they listen? No. Sorry to say for both themselves and their wives, they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. Now it’s not that these guys are Bradley Cooper or George Clooney and can get away with what they say or do with charm and a smile. These guys are like Jason Alexander as George Castanza and Andy Dick fiction or real life. Yes, they can be funny at times, but if they stick their foot in it, it almost always smells.

or lunk-head?

　

Girls, Girls, Girls - Tough Day for Fritzy

Girls, Girls, Girls 

If only Chrissy Teigen hadn't coached
Hannah she would have been this
relaxed on the show

First up: Hannah Davis, guarded and not very forth coming when it came to Derek Jeter which makes it frustrating for everyone – Dan, Danettes, Hannah and the audience.  Best part of her interview wasn’t her, it was the Danettes mocking model walks.  Good thing little Casey wasn’t in the competition.  Skater boys know how to move the hips. Too bad, so sad.

Chrissy always poppin'
when she visits

Next up: One of our faves, Chrissy Teigen who had her fiancé’, John Legend came along for the ride and acted as her wardrobe consultant.  Funny and irreverent, she always fits into the show.  Chrissy can come back any time. Chrissy has a show coming up on Wednesday, February 13th, 10 pm on the Cooking Channel: Chrissy Teigan’s Hungry.  Love the title, and John says she can cook, for real.  If there were a charity raffle drawing to be the “pepperoni” police at the SI swimsuit photo shoots, would you buy a raffle ticket?  If pepperoni is the call out word for a nip slip, what cutesy food word should they use during a photo shoot for a slip of the lower area?  Sounds like they could use some suggestions over at SI.  Did anyone happen to notice that Fritzy’s favorite pizza topping is pepperoni?  Just sayin’.

Lucky #10, AJ McCarron

Finally:  Katherine Webb - sweet, open to Q/A, she can come back anytime too.  You can tell Katherine has gone to a lot of Bama football games, as she was leaving Dan at the desk, she reached over to give him a high five with a woven finger grasp.  Dan reciprocated, surgerized shoulder and all, for the pretty girl.  She also appreciated McLovin’s Bama bang attempt when he finger combed his bangs forward and spit in his hands to stick his hair to his forehead making a “good effort” in achieving the look.

    Tough Day for Fritzy

Did Todd think the more of this
he put on the closer he looked to this?

What a waste of all that Cool Water cologne Fritzy slathered on.  The SI memo of don’ts that Dan read off to the gang this morning slowed Fritzy down, but didn’t stop him.  He got his normal hug time from repeat visitor, Chrissy Teigen. He got a half hearted, one arm, pat on back, turning and looking to the side hug from Katherine Webb and nothing at all from Hannah Davis.  One and a half for three.  He should take the 50% and run with it considering he could have gone o’fer.  Dude, less creep factor history = more opportunities in the future. 

Let's Go Surfing! Boys Night Out in NYC, Don't Be a Creep,

No More Movie Reviews for You 

View at your own risk

Have you ever followed the recommendation of someone you trusted and the recommendation was bad?  That’s what happened to DP over the weekend.  He followed Paulie’s recommendation to watch In Bruges.  It was two hours of DP’s life he’ll never get back.  Paulie thought Dan didn’t appreciate the movie because of the pain, the meds and not being able to have a beer or two with the movie.  Now it’s not that DP didn’t try to sneak a beer in a different part of the basement this weekend, but his wife had his daughters trained well and Molly was on top of her game ratting dad out when he tried.  Too bad he doesn’t have draft audible ale installed. So what happens to Paulie for this bad recommendation?  It went out to the audience to send in titles of bad movies and Paulie will need to watch one.  Hmmm.

Don’t Be a Creep

Congrats Kate !
Much better pic than 2012

SI swimsuit models in the NYC man cave Tuesday.  SI has concerns, of course, with Fritzy’s creepiness and rightfully so after Fritzy’s past and most recent behavior.  Current ground rules: Only a three second hug, no lower back touching, no sounds when he hugs, no elevator eyes.  Surely more rules will be established, as their appearance time grows nearer.  Let’s face it, Fritzy has had some pretty awkward conversations with pretty women.  Maybe he needs a conversation time limit like he has a box time limit with his timer or maybe a conversation chaperone.  Just feel bad for Katherine Webb and Hannah Davis that they have to fear appearing in person on the show because of the creep factor.  Remember what happened with Brooklyn Decker and then the aftermath with her father?  Fritzy’s one liners need to be approved by Paulie before they’re said.  You know Fritzy won’t adhere to that policy and try to slip one in, so to speak.  Will there be a wheel of punishment if Fritzy misbehaves?  Stay tuned!

Boys Night Out in NYC

Did they partake or pass?

Now the last time that DP picked up the tab for dinner for five it was a thousand dollars.  What?!?  Dan, if you’re seeking dinner company that won’t jack your credit card, feel free to give me a call.  So they were tossing around the idea of having oysters in the village which Seton was stoked about.  Really? Oysters in NYC?  Hope they went home last night to the wives.  Otherwise it was probably pay per view in the room.  Dan could have taken up McLovin on his offer to come to his place.  Oh, no.  Can’t do that, sorry.  DP would have seen the girls and wanted to pick them up and give McLovin’s wife a hug.  Shoulder surgery.  Remember?  Dodge a bullet once again. To be continued.

Let's Go Surfing!

No, no!  Up in the air above the masses!

The sharp dressed men Friday upset Dan’s mom.  She thought they were dressed like pall-bearers because it was DP’s surgery day and the fun everyone had made about Dan’s surgery on Thursday.  Nope, not dressed in funeral clothes, just paying off a bet they made with Chris Mannix.  They boys actually looked really good and brought the show to a different level with their “casual Friday”.  Casual Friday should occur more often.  Would Dan have any of the Danettes be his pall-bearers?  Nope.  Seton would be drunk, Paulie would make it all about him, Fritzy would injure himself and need surgery, McLovin wouldn’t show as there would be no reason to suck up to Dan anymore.  Who would DP want as pall-bearers?  He’d want the shorties to do the honor so he could hear their tears hit the top of his casket.  Maybe he should do what Bryant Gumble does, pick and notify his pall-bearers now and update the list as time goes on.  Maybe a little mash pit casket surfing so everyone can get one last hand on the Dan man.