Search This Blog

Friday, November 16, 2012

Sing it loud, sing it proud, don't poke the bear, NASCAR what? who?

Is there really any minor heart procedures?
Did Jim Harbaugh’s family think it was minor? The heart is a major organ that keeps you living last I checked. A derm-abrasion is a minor procedure. For the second procedure, if things go wrong, you just don’t show your face in public for a few days. For the first procedure, if things go wrong, you could die. It’s scary how those in medicine use minimizing words for actions that could have maximum effects.

The boo boo is right about here
In a rare invitation from the show, there was a NASCAR driver appearance. Not from any driver, but one that has been invited on the show before, five time champion, Jimmie Johnson. I think I can count on one hand and one finger the number of different drivers that have been on the show over the years – Johnson, Stewart, Earnhardt Jr., Patrick, Kenseth and Hamlin who got on only because he called in on his own and donated something to the man cave. The season is 11 months long, pre-season testing through championship week, and there are roughly 150 drivers, and 150 crew chiefs (like a head coach to you stick and ballers) so you would think that the show could muster up more than 5 NASCAR interviews in one year. Okay, the ratings and the attendance aren’t the same as the top sport in America, the NFL, but it does do better than MLB, NBA, the 2011 NHL and the multitude of soccer leagues USA ratings. Come on man!

Dan trying to get Chad Knaus' attention
the wrong way
Okay, I’m done with that mini-rant. Johnson did elude that there was a darker side to his vanilla personality when it comes to the desire to retaliate against an opponent. If there was a world out there without witnesses, audio/video equipment and major sanctioning body fines and penalties he might handle on track confrontations differently than a smile and a positive spin for the media. The 2012 Sprint Cup Champion, whether it be Johnson or Brad Keselowski, is scheduled to be on the show Monday.

Can the brash kid from Michigan be the next
Cup Champion?
Fritzy was feeling pretty cocky today. It is Fritzy Friday you know. When Dan was doing his interview with Jimmie Johnson, was Dan saying Jimmie with an ie or a y? Was he saying Johnson or Johnston? Watch out Fritzy, the mighty fall pretty hard. Don’t poke the bear…
Fritzy's new weight loss plan -
poke the bear
Huge fail from Fritzy followed. He had in the run down and on the chalkboard Mitch Kupchak, GM of the Lakers, when the actual guest was going to be Mike D’Antoni, Head Coach of the Lakers. Ok, he misread the email. He did have a few things right. 1. It was someone from the Lakers. 2. Their first name started with Mi. Other than that, not even close. What’s worse is that for the first 90 minutes of the show Dan was promoting the wrong person appearing on the show. What ever MVD points Fritzy did have are now in the negative column.

Hi, my name is Mi____
Against the Grain started out shaky and stayed that way. Two-a-Days played a sped up version of the theme song, which I actually like better. McLovin was thrown by the music change and then couldn’t concentrate because Casey was buzzing Seton with the clippers behind him. Was McLovin concerned that Casey might come after him next?

"It's only hair"
Seton has one of those heads that can adapt to many looks.His normal head is one of an 18 year old with occasional bits of stubble. The look Seton got today from Casey, host of The Box Score, really didn’t resemble Whitey Herzog, but more of a 16 year old who cut his hair like someone from a progressive boy band. Time to climb back into the snugly tiger outfit and sing. Fritzy was allowed to join in and started by talking in character during the instrumental intro of Eye of the Tiger and repeating "There is no tomorrow, there is no tomorrow, there is no tomorrow" building up to Seton singing the first verse and chorus. Slight problem, Fritzy got Seton so amped up Seton started signing a few bars too soon. I wouldn’t go as far as saying it was singing either from Seton. It was more like lyrical talking. Fritzy was getting into his ‘80’s falsetto music and grooving along with the song reliving his glory days.

Rough cut
Somebody's gonna need a beer

Just another great day in the man cave for the highlight reels. It’s not your typical sports show, its family.  What did you learn today?

Please help those still in need:


American Red Cross:
Website:
www.redcross.org


Text: To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone: 1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018
        Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.


Thursday, November 15, 2012

More unrest in the man cave, stab your sword, women of Buffalo

From the pre-show run down meeting:
If Dan fell asleep, how would he want it to be handled? We didn’t learn the answer to that question. There must be times that this may have occurred. Maybe during one of the lengthy against the grain segments that had no visual aids? Let’s take a trip down memory lane to one of McLovin’s more entertaining ATG segments.



The video open was an ode to those having quality time with Fergie’s bust, most prominently Fritzy. Hopefully Fergie didn’t see that open. If she did, hope it didn’t creep her out too much.

I just don't think Dan can pull off a C cup
As the world becomes even more PC:UCLA has a problem with the USC tradition of the drum major Tommy Trojan planting the sword mid-field before the pre-game show. Should the sword be planted at the game, the USC band will not be allowed to play at half time. Really? It shows a lack of respect? Don’t you need a bit of a lack of respect to feel a competitive edge and go out there and beat the other team? Over all of the years and all of the games that this tradition has occurred you choose to defeat your opponent this way? Is this the only way you can get it done? Let’s just all hold hands and play ring around the rosy. Just don’t take away what truly matters to Dan and the Danettes – the USC song girl outfits.


The latest sports victim to political correctness

Drum Major Ed Carden of the USC Marching Band plants the sword in the UCLA logo before the 2008 rivalry game at the Rose Bowl. (Jeff Golden / Getty Images / December 6, 2008)
If UCLA thinks planting the USC sword is disrespectful, I can only imagine what they would think if UCLA pulled off what the 2004 Yale students did at a game versus Harvard at Harvard. Take a look.




In a rare on air appearance, Two-a-Days gave us a SOTD. Shortly after Seton was called to the box at the top of the hour. Dan asked him before going into the box what was wrong. Typical kid to parent response – "Nothin’." "Why the sad face? Is it because you didn’t have a good first hour?" Sulky Seton went into the box to become Mr. Positivity and turn his frown upside down. It wasn’t because TAD did a stat of the day. Actually for his first time, he did better than Paulie who’s on mic regularly and has done SOTD a few times. The only bumming Seton is doing about SOTD comes from suggestions from the audience that he had tried, being a man of the people, that just didn’t work out and he took the heat. He says he has a good s-o-u-r-c-e (Jay Glazer?) for stat information and will be returning back to that game plan.
SOTD complications make
little Seton tired and grumpy
Seton’s going into the box at the top of the hour created another problem during the next break. Dan caught Seton coming out of his bathroom. You do not use Dan’s bathroom unless he gives you permission first. The staff bathroom was busy during the break and Seton really had to go the break before but couldn’t because of his box appearance. Seton’s solution, use Dan’s bathroom. Dan’s solution, next time pee outside. McLovin wondered if Seton thought he had the liberty because Dan and Seton had a private lunch yesterday. "Two men don’t go out to lunch together." Uh, yeah McLovin they do all the time. The lunches are just titled differently – "business lunch" or  "watch the game".

Maybe Dan needs a new sign for this door
More unrest in the man cave?So Seton had a private lunch with Dan Wednesday and is having another one today. From Dan’s Boss’ Thoughts segment: The Danettes are able to speak off the record about other Danettes to Dan. He does encourage them to address the issue directly with each other because DP does not want to be a go between and he doesn’t want there to be gossip. Well the gossip amongst the three remaining Danettes had already started. Are they talking about one of us? What are they talking about? Will this count against the rest of us being able to go out for beer and wings on Friday? So what do you eat at a private lunch? A shared basket of a dozen wings, two cheeseburgers and eight beers. We’ll see tomorrow if today’s private lunch plays a role in tomorrow’s show.
Can beer and wings solve the Danette issues?
Fritzy is loosening his grip on mock headlines when it comes to Sven in CA. Today Sven went 2 for 3 with Fritzy actually clapping at the last one. Fritzy has been too busy today pulling pictures of Samantha Steele from ESPN’s Game Day since he learned that she’s Christian Ponder’s, Viking QB, girl friend. The IT guy was in not long ago and there was only one computer that had issues. It’s never a good sign when you get the blue screen with white writing. The IT guy can thank Fritzy for being able to drive his nice, shiny Mercedes.

If your girl looked like Samantha,
would you mind answering questions about her?
It’s not Reggie Bush but McLovin who has some beef with the women in Buffalo. This was proven by audio that Two –a-Days had pulled out of the archives for an I Team report. I don’t know. I think for someone, who looks and acts like McLovin, he’s being far too picky. 

http://thebrigade.thechive.com/2011/08/23/one-city-the-other-ny-city-women-of-buffalo-76-photos/#close


The new Coffee Break with McLovin featuring Wild Bill, the cameraman, was sweet. As you would expect, Wild Bill steals the spotlight.

A little coffee banter with the wild one

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

You called me what?!? You did what?!?

The audio open this morning brought back fond memories of yesterday reliving the second life of the Eddie Curry jersey. Long may the jersey wave over the skin of all those that wore it. Thank you engineers and editors for the great remix. 

You could only hope to look this good in this jersey
He’s had enough and he’s letting everyone know.  Jay Glazer is fed up with ESPN not giving him credit when credit is due for breaking stories. As Dan has educated us, if they don’t outright steal the credit when they don’t break the story, they avoid the story as longs as they can or they’ll just call you "a source". Check out what Jay has to say about that: 
Hey  just to clear up confusion, my last name is not spelled S-O-U-R-C-E. Unless my mom got it wrong all these years. 
Crazy how so many of us in the biz seem to have the same last name. i must have a ton of siblings mom never told me ...   Keep up the good fight Jay! P.S. Love me some Subway J
He may be smiling now, but don't call him  S-O-U-R-C-E
Who’s at the top of the heap?
DP! www.athlonsports.com rated The Dan Patrick Show the #1 sports related radio show to listen to of their top 15. Was there ever any doubt? Of course not. There is only one. Everyone else falls by the wayside.
No one beats the man at the top of his game
Collin Klein shared how he feels about putting his personal beliefs out there in similar fashion as Tim Tebow, LoLo Jones and others. It makes me wonder, I’m sure there have been athletes throughout time that have held strong to their religion and beliefs but only a couple over previous decades in sports that have come forward until we were into the 2000 mark or so. Is there a new comfort in revealing your personal morals and standards if you are a devout in your religion and personal beliefs if you are a celebrity because we are more accepting of people’s differences? If that’s the case, why were we not more accepting before? Is it their drive to bear witness? I’m just glad we can all get along on most things, most of the time.

Collin Klein - not afraid to answer questions about his beliefs
McLovin loves his family after all! Today we learned that McLovin finally did a will with Legal Zoom to protect the interests of his family. Dan has been after him for years to get this done. What finally made him do it? Not a push, but a shove from his wife. Good going Sara!

Have you gotten your Legal Zoom will?
Has it gotten cold daily where you live? It has here. Think about those who have lost their homes that helped keep them warm both inside and out. Show them some love.

American Red Cross:

Website:
www.redcross.org


Text: To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone: 1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018
Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.




Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Moose Johnston tears at a family, a jersey's tail, KISS fantasy



That cute little kitty, Tiger Seton, was in the video open this morning getting his fur on.  Such a fun, cuddly kitty.
Kitties need coffee too!
More fashion this morning on The Dan Patrick Show.  Seton put on the latest addition to the man cave during the pre--show run down.  The two-time game worn, 5XL, Dallas Mavrick jersey of 6’5” Eddie Curry.  Needless to say it was a pretty blue dress over jeans with the sleeves of his blue sweater sticking out of the arm holes.  The boy had game for a minute nailing his first basket of the day.  The jersey plays a big role for the entire show.

Seton spinning in the jersey
Roll the tape! Danny’s going jaw face! Do you accuse the most recent Marconi winner of pronouncing a well-known former NFL player and Fox analyst’s name wrong?  Fritzy did.  Fritzy claimed Dan had said Moose Johnson not Moose Johnston. Seton, becoming uncomfortable in the increasingly tense conversation during the look in, tried to insert a little levity, “It’s not like he called him Bear Johnston instead of Moose Johnston.”

You wouldn't call him bear but would you call him horny?
Danny’s jaw face continued after the Pat Forde interview with a jab at Fritzy and then as Fritzy was going into the box. “Good for you, good for you Fritzy.”  Sure Dan may have known Moose since he was at Syracuse but I thought he said Johnson myself.  The Cheap Seats thought so too. It wasn’t like Fritzy interrupted the interview by going on hot mic either on air or in Dan’s ear.  He sent an email.  Maybe an IM would have been better?  Should he have gone through Paulie like McLovin did with a comment about the interview?  With bruised ego and anger still brewing, Dan put his Marconi on the floor behind the bar to poke at Fritzy’s sensitivity.  The Danettes are siding with Dan out of fear of Danny Jaw Face, no support for Fritzy.  Dan and Fritzy have known each other for over 10 years so Dan knows what he’s doing to Fritzy’s mental state.  Dad/Dan is not happy.

DP turning the cold shoulder to Fritzy's argument
A Bet is Born: 
If Fritzy is right, Dan apologizes.  If Dan is right, Fritzy wears the Eddie Curry jersey sans pants the rest of the show.  Paulie was the only one to stand up for Fritzy.  I think Seton and McLovin just wanted to see the punishment, which does make for better TV.  Paulie must not be feeling well today.  As the top producer he is, he knows that good TV and radio always rule.  Fritzy will put on the jersey and the pre-wear puns start flying.  Keep in mind Fritzy goes commando.  After stalling, saying he was embarrassed, Fritzy finally came out, walking and standing hunched over as to not have the jersey cling to any bits or pieces.  The lone white socks were a nice touch.  Better not work on COTW or check out other pics on the web today!

I've got my stuff in my hand and it's pulling up my jersey
As I suspected, there would be issues with Fritzy sitting next to McLovin in his state of undress, and McLovin expressed those as he was going into the box and inside the box. Did McLovin see or touch something he shouldn’t have?  McLovin isn’t getting enough attention today.  Next thing you know, we come back from break and Fritzy’s back in his street clothes fingering away at his keyboard.  Now Dan is supposed to wear the jersey during the last half-hour of the show as part of his apology for berating Fritzy when Fritzy was actually correct.  Dan did say Johnson during the interview, once.   Dan does remember that Fritzy had absolutely nothing on underneath that jersey and it did touch all body parts right?  Well, Dan cut the last half-hour down to last segment.  “I can’t wear it during the Jerry West interview.  Dan works on backing out more thanks to Seton’s help.  He agreed with Dan even though he knew Fritzy was right and he messed up the audio enhancements during Paulie’s “Know Your Back Up QB” segment.  Now Seton is supposed to wear the jersey without pants for the last segment, after Jerry West.  We need to be a classy show while Dan’s idol is being interviewed.

'"I can't see my feet!"
West interview over, Dan pays up his debt. Here comes Dan, in the jersey with white t-shirt, white socks, black tennys and obviously wearing underwear. Sorry ladies.  He’s out there hitting jumpers, no misses.  Could it be the new found freedom under the jersey that Fritzy spoke of sparking his game?  McLovin did get busted looking at DP’s backside.  Sometimes I scratch my head about that boy.
A few jersey jumpers
Boy does this jersey make its rounds: Curry, Seton, Fritzy, Dan and back to Seton again.  If this jersey were a girl, she’d be called slutty.  In condom terms, Seton first time was as if the whole box was being worn, Fritzy couldn’t get the package open and went bare back, Dan - just one condom will do, Seton’s second time was like wearing a maxum when a regular would do. Watching Seton slip off his pants on camera so discretely struck me funny. It was a little feminine.

Did Eddie Curry know his jersey would be assaulted today?
Dan has a problem with McLovin eating.  Ok, it’s not so much that he doesn’t like McLovin to eat.  It’s when McLovin skips out and gets an egg and cheese sandwich without asking if anyone else wanted something as well.   If McLovin had brought it in with him first thing in the morning, would that had been ok?  Paulie brings in and eats his Chobani pineapple yogurt, Seton brings in sandwiches, all without sharing or incident.  So reasoning would say if McLovin had brought in his breakfast sandwich from the get, he’d be ok.  If there was craft services, would this be a mute point or do we go back to picking on how loud McLovin eats?  No hair, no make up, now no more breakfast. 
If McLovin ate this, would it be too noisy?
I just caught the “Make Up” commercial during the Box Score break. Priceless. Must see TV. Funniest one to date!

The first step in Seton's KISS fantasy
Just another great day in the man cave for the highlight reels.  It’s not your typical sports show, it’s an adult family. 

So, what did you learn today?  I learned The Dan Patrick Show and The Box Score haven’t lost their touch as I laughed throughout 3 ½ hours of original programming. In your face Mothership!



Monday, November 12, 2012

Who should be king of the pop-a-shot, time to update Frank's look


Here’s something I’m sure will be heard all across America next Thursday: “Will you listen to me for a change? No need for turkey and stuffing today.  Dan was trying to get Seton to listen to his advice on how to score big on the pop-a-shot as Dan can’t have Fritzy be the best at something.  Heaven forbid.  The confidence boost to Fritzy’s ego would ruin his booker game.

Should Dan let Fritzy be the king of the pop a shot?

Speaking of Fritzy:  Now that The Dan Patrick Show is part of the NBC family, could someone please spend a few bucks and get Fritzy a new outfit for his Monday Night Football song parodies?  Maybe Amy, who helped Dan with his Jimmy Fallon look, could help Fritzy with his Frank Williams Jr. persona.  I know we’re already half way into the season, but please show the brother a little love. 
Well worn but it's time to update "Frank"'s style

Keep the love coming!  The victims of Sandy appreciate and need all they can get.
American Red Cross:
Website:  www.redcross.org 

Text: To donate $10 text REDCROSS to 90999

Phone:  1-800-RED-CROSS (1-800-733-2767)

Mail: American Red Cross, PO Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA 50340-2018 
        Make sure you indicate where you want your funds to go.